I am super excited to welcome our little guy into the world. My wife is more ready than I am.
Having a new bundle of joy definitely impacts the dynamics of the home. A lot of things can be flipped upside down including, but not limited to, lack of sleep, change in routines and increased insecurity among the older siblings.
But there are a few surprising effects that have impacted me personally as a dad.
Phantom Cries
New babies eat, pee, poop, sleep, and cry. If you are lucky, then the little one might offer an occasional smile or giggle.
Feeding may get messy, but it is rather straightforward. Support the baby's body, neck, and head as appropriate. Feed the baby from momma or a bottle. Burp and then wait for everything to come out from the other end - the pee and the poop (totally gross, but completely natural).
Sleeping can be a bit challenging. Babies often sleep when you want them awake, and stay awake when you want them to sleep.
But crying? This is where it gets interesting.
I do have a bit of experience (5 kiddos and one on the way), so it is fairly easy for me to distinguish between a newborn cry and a 2-3 month-month-old cry, even if it is not my child. The sounds are unique and different.
And as a child grows older he/she starts to develop unique sounds for different types of cries. Some cries express pain, while others show frustration. And let's not forget about cries that express boredom, discomfort, and hunger.
So imagine my wife and I sitting down on the couch. All of the kiddos are feed, bathed, and in bed (even the newborn). We finally have a few moments to ourselves, and we deserve it because we have been fighting sleep deprivation (and don't forget that we are outnumbered).
And all of a sudden, the baby's cry breaks the silence. You hear it? Of course you don't, because this is a blog post, not an audio recording. But even if you were in the same room as me, you would not have heard it.
It was a phantom baby cry. Now I am not talking about ghosts or anything like that. I am talking about how parents of new babies hear sounds that are not even uttered. Parents of new babies are so intently listening for the cries of their child, that at times their minds manufacture the sounds they are listening for.
Granted my evidence is anecdotal at best, but I know I have heard them. Well .... (dramatic pause) I think I have heard them. Ok! Ok! I know you should never trust a sleep-deprived person, but you can trust me.
Baby Induced Dance Moves
Parents will do almost anything to get their newborn to sleep. Classic solutions include rocking chairs, gliders, and baby swings. My wife and I have also sat on exercise balls to provide a gently bounce.
But when you don't have any of those resources, then most parents rely on some version of the "baby sway". The baby sway is a set of movements that a parent performs while holding the child that helps the child sleep.
Some people just sway side-to-side. Other people perform more of a rotating hip motion. I prefer a sway that incorporates a gentle bounce. Every move is different and unique based on the parent and the needs of the child.
So after several months of helping that little one get to sleep, parents have trained themselves in a variety of new dance moves. And of course, in their sleep-deprived state, they forget that those dance moves are only for the baby.
So imagine my wife and I standing in the kitchen (hypothetically speaking, of course) trying to have an adult conversation about the upcoming events of the week or a financial matter. Unknowingly, my wife starts her dance moves - the gentle sway. I have been conditioned like Pavlov's dog to do the same.
Unfortunately, our sways are not in sync, but over the course of the conversation, we start moving to the left and the right at the same time and with the same rhythm. It's beautiful (and slightly disturbing).
And at that moment we both realize that we are enslaved by the baby induced dance moves. Argh!
Interactive Dreams - Where's The Baby?
Both as a child and an adult, I have slept walked and slept talked. Just seems natural that I would attempt to interact with my baby in my sleep as well.
But before you get too concerned, I have never harmed any of my kiddos in my sleep. I haven't even picked up one of my kiddos while I was asleep.
On the contrary, I find myself stuck in the corner of my bedroom frantically searching for the newborn.
There is an odd limbo zone between being asleep and being awake. Often, my dreams and the things I think of as I sleep flow into those first few moments as I am trying to wake up. Apparently, the phantom cries haunt me all of the time.
In my dream, the baby is crying and needs me. So I get out of bed, and I enter the limbo zone. I start searching for the baby. I am reaching out my arms to find the baby. And as I keep struggling (to the point that my wife wakes up), she calls my name and asks me what I am doing.
"The baby needs me." Well, that is at least what I thought. As I said, I am stuck in the corner of my bedroom, holding a pillow, just about to knock over a lamp that is ready to fall off the nightstand. And in a calm, sleepy voice, my wife says, "Come back to bed. The baby is ok."
Final Thoughts
We are ready for the new addition to our family. Life will be different, and we will have to make adjustments, but we are ready.
I don't look forward to the phantom cries, the new dance moves, and the limbo zone, but I am ready to welcome our son into the world.
- Have you or your spouse had any odd things happen after you brought your newborn home?
- How does lack of sleep impact you?
Thanks for stopping by. I look foward to hearing from you.
@SumatraNate
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The last time I brought a new born home will be 19 years ago in December. But I do remember the phantom cries they are real.
Thanks for validating the phantom cries. And congrats on helping that newborn reach adulthood- no small task.
No it isn't he was the youngest out of three now I hear phantom calls for Gram's when missing my grandbabies.
This is so true! I have a 4-month year old that sleeps through the night now, but I wake up every now and then and think I hear him crying.
Congrats on the new baby on the way! I can totally relate to the sway dance as well. I also dance with my baby to amuse him.
Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. It is nice to hear that several other parents have experienced the same thing. We look forward to our new addition, and congrats on your little one sleeping through the night.
Thanks!
sounds like you’re a natural. Congrats on the upcoming new born.
Thanks on the kind words.
Congratulation!!!, say hello to the little boy, the one you have been waiting for. I am really happy for you my friend....enjoy your great joy @sumatranate. It will become routine after a few months from now on. Wish you and the family all the best
He has not arrived yet. We expect him to be born in the next month or so. We are very excited about God blessing us with another child. And yes, it will become routine, but there will be some months of less sleep than usual.
I though he hes been with you, woow it is very exciting to wait, isn't it. Sure there will be some extra time at night @sumatranate
Oh my goodness...this is precious! I can tell you and your wife are amazing parents...to think you have that many kiddos, a true pair of saints! As for the dancing....omg...my daughters and I still talk about my dancing with them and my favorite tunes...which btw they still love! I do hope you both are able to get some much needed sleep, especially since you are clearly outnumbered lol. Congrats and many blessings to you and your expanding family. Your post really brought me back through those wonderful years as a new parent! Thank you :)
Thanks for the kind words and encouragement. I am glad that I was able to take you back in time.
GReta post I know what you mean about telling the differenc ebetween types of crys
and yes I also can relate to phantom Cries, with 4 kids I have experienced those as well
You are the second person to validate the phantom cries. That is great!
When is the baby due @sumatranate?
How old is your youngest? That's going to be quite a house full! 😍
Due date is the end of this month. Oldest is 11. Yes, our house is full, but we like it!
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