All we ever really have are moments of happiness to hang onto and the fact that you have them with her daily,
I think the challenge that I feel in this is that I had more ability to have these moments more often. They can't be engineered - going through the motions is not enough. They seem too far apart now and I wonder how much effect it will have on her.
I understand that, it must be hard because it sounds like you really want it to be different but you need to keep it real.