Thanks for sharing your insights!
I totally understand, that you want to know "gods mind" and the reasons why everything is as it is, but you may never find a satisfactory answer to that. On the other hand, if god would reveal his complete plan for every aspect of creation to you, what exactly would be different then?
How would the knowledge about the true workings of the universe change anything in your daily life? You still would feel shitty, when you're shitty. 😀
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Yes, but the reason I´m not on a purely spiritual path is that I don´t wanna rush to the end of the movie. Instead I want to experience it fully, only getting out of places that are too tough, but even experiencing those a little while. At the end of the day, feeling bad or good it´s not what´s most important. For me, it´s wisdom and peace.