There was chaos (literally) in Splinterlands HQ today when the Fire Splinter Group headed by none other than Grum Flameblade marched to High Court this evening to protest against the lack of any good Gladius Cards in their Splinter.
Grum , everyones favourite Fire Tank took umbridge to the fact that every other Splinter has a meta game changing Gladius card except for them which is leading to a decrease in battles over all for the team Fire.
"It's not on," declared a disgruntled Grum who was accompanied by the sneaky ninja Tenyii Striker in his bid to get a higher quality of Gladius card into Fire.
"Every other Splinter has these game changing gladius card."
"Those freaks over at water have the opportunity guy ISGALD VORST and RELENOR CLEAVER as a string card with Reach."
"Those hippies over at Earth are awash with strength." isn't that right Tenyii?!!
"Hai"
"They have that freak of nature QUORA TOWERSHEAD which was clearly a big mistake because every Tom , Dick and Harry is picking her for the easy win. She's only an epic card as well but she is beating seven shades of shit out of any legendary monster that comes her way. People are not happy about her epicness. To add salt to the wound they have KATRELBA GOBSON who is pretty much unplayable with her double hit opportunity when she gets a knockout under her belt."
"The Life Splinter have strong Gladius's. We thought we were on par with these guys as all they had was that magic gal called CAPTAIN KATIE but now with weapons training monsters getting trendy nowadays we have that posh looking geezer HELMET KHARAFAX to contend with."
"Even Neutral have that Mortal Kombat reject Tatina Blayde. It's an outrage of the highest order." Since when did Neutral overtake Fire in the Splinter stakes. It's a travesty.
"Are our own Gladius's nearby Tenyii? Did you sneak us away without them seeing"
"HAI"
"OK good good."
"Not to be downbeat about our own Gladius cards. They are all good bunch of lads and ladies but come on guys!!! "What is the story with KRASH WANDERFORD. He has blood lust and does not get an attack ability until level 4. The bloke is a sitting duck. He can dodge one or two blows but that is the limit of his talents. It boggles the mind how he even got in to be honest.
The best of the bunch is CHIMNEY WALLSTOP but he has too high of a mana to be picked. What's his mana Tenyii
"jū"
"Yes that's correct it's 10. Too high for what you are getting with a 1 speed.
Who else have we got??
Oh yeah these 3 head da balls that just make up the numbers.
It's all great and good having a 13 mana but not a shield in sight with GORTH so all he is doing is warming the bench. The other two have a 2 and 3 mana and would be only used in the low mana battles so we have no heavy hitters.
"What about our legandery Gladius FINA VOXOM"?
"OK granted we have a jewel in the crown with Fina and she gets along well the rest but nobody ever pulls Fina in their packs because of her legendary status. She is rarely seen around the place at all. People are pulling more Quoras than Fina's because Quora is an epic card and Fina is legendary. But we are not complaining about her. She is working well with our well known Opportunity monsters which is our area of strength at the moment. When she does battle she is lethal here with her opportunity.
But aside from this, this is our lot and we are not happy with it. With the new summoners in place win ranked battles that can call on Gladius cards we feel that the Fire Splinter is losing out and in the long term we will be the Forgotten Ones!!
"Did somebody call me for an immunity or a retaliate"?
"Oh for fuc .... sake No, Forgotten One. We were not talking about you. Go back to base until a poison battle comes up!!"
"Yes boss."
Fucking light weight Forgotten one always placed at the back now because of the poison battles. Does fuck all only stand there while I do the work"
"What was that"
"Ahem. Nothing Forgotten One. See you lattterr my friend."
As I was saying! This is not right and the Fire Splinter is suffering. We are protesting that there is a vendetta against the Fire Splinter especially the Gladius cards. The Splinterlands team really rubbed salt in our wounds then by giving us an inside out Centaur as the Gladius Summoner. This will not be forgotten. The Fire Splinter will rise again! This interview is over!! To the court Tenyii!! Pronto ,Do not spare the fire dragons.
ROFL - very good time reading this.
Thanks @kheldar1982