It's Saturday but not the one I really want.
I woke up and found that my right ear was ringing non-stop. My hearing was influenced as well.
When I went to a quiet place, my right ear was like singing songs I hated too much.
I went to the Urgent Care but the doctor said she had no idea what caused my tinnitus. They had no equipment for the test, nor knew what would be the best solution.
I searched the internet but only found the similar posts with threats and fears like the symptom would continue and accompany me until the last day of my life. I knew I was terrifying myself. Nothing would go that bad, especially I still believed that I am a good person. I do not deserve that.
Two years ago, I got some pains in my legs, and then expanded my whole body with no reasons. I went to see the campus clinic for many times and went through some blood and urine tests, only got the answer with no answers. I was desperately searching on Google to seek for the answers myself. It was definitely a bad idea, I can say.
After terrifying myself for a month and suffering sleepless nights, I fully recovered with no reason as well. What a magical body.
Then I was telling myself, it was happening again but jumping to my ears. I would be fine, maybe after some good sleep. I thought a lot about what should I do if I lost my hearings. Can I still working to pay off my student loans? Can I still sing and listen to my favorite songs? Can I confidently live in the world and prove my value?
I was told that I was overthinking. I know it. Of course, I know I was just trying to find the worst scenarios and I would be more than happy if the results weren't that awful.
Life is always doing the same things to everyone. It is somethin nobody can escape from. I always encouraged my friends and the people around me when they encountered the down times or touch moments, but I wasn't that good telling the same stories to me. Psychologists are miserable in this way. Comedians suffer from unhappiness and superstars are mostly lonely.
Like the cover photo, a new life can be born from a dead wood. All the sufferings are actually cultivating prosperity. It seems to be a bad weekend, but who knows.
Be brave. The world is so wonderful.
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