Many times we get hurt by people around us. The most painful and difficult to forgive is hurts that come from people we love or trust. In fact, betrayal of trust is almost impossible to let go.
There was a case of a brother in-law sleeping with a lady's niece in the same house. The lady trusted the brother In-law so much that at first she wouldn't believe the rumour until the day she caught them red handed. The story had it that the two illegal lovers had to be thrown out, but telling them to go didn't guarantee the lady's forgiveness. Scars from betrayal could be very difficult to forgive.
WHY IS ANY FORGIVENESS DIFFICULT?
'Self' is the monster, not the situation. In my interaction with people, I have discovered that everyone has some level of selfishness, self-centered attitude or self indulgence. Anytime we are not able to look beyond ourselves, forgiveness becomes impossible. Dominant in the words of hurting people are, do you know what you did to me? Do you know how people respect me? How could you disgrace me after everything? What made you think I wanted this? Do you know how I felt? Those words: me, I, mine, etc are the real monsters. The self is the obstacle. Anyone can let go of anything if self is not exalted. Thus, the most important factor in the forgiveness plan is to be selfless. If you consider others, not yourself, you will easily let go and have peace, after all you don't have anything to protect.
ANOTHER MONSTER IS PRIDE
Pride means thinking more highly about yourself at the expense of how others feel. It makes people feel they should be worshipped because of what they have or can do. A proud person can't forgive because in his eyes nobody is good like him and everyone should treat him as most important. You don't even need to intentionally offend a proud fellow, just refuse to consider him in what you are doing in a group he belongs, then you will see his reaction. Anger, arrogance and unforgiveness resides with the proud.
FOR THE SAKE OF PEACE
Forgiveness brings peace, not only to the situation, but more to the forgiver. It's a difficult thing to forgive, so is the difficulty in living in anger and hatred. A better option remains letting go. It's not really worth the sleepless nights when you can let go and walk away to a brighter tomorrow.
Consider moving forward today, for there's no joy in the past which thou pondereth upon.