I was the kid in school who wanted to be liked. I was also the kid in school who did homework because it was fun. Yeah, I was that kid that would let people copy her homework in an effort to fit in and be liked.
So picture me 20 years ago:
A girl from a small town in Midwest America. She’s taller than most boys her age, feels disproportionate and gangly when she walks, and has to redirect people’s eye from her boobs to her face mid-conversation at least once or twice. She's smart, mature for her age, and in dire need of love.
I felt out of place everywhere I was.
Outside of my small (but incredibly supportive) group of friends, I really didn’t know where I fit in. My socio-economic status was on the low end of the sliding scale. I came from a divorced family, strained by my narcissistic mother’s instability and constant need for narcotic and egoic fuel. Looking back, I wish I would have connected more with my community, but put that on the list of, "Things I Would Tell my 14 Year Old Self."
I just felt awkward. I had friends, and I had some connection, but I never really figured out where I fit in. I felt like a round peg in a square hole.
Looking back I see the desire to fit in as a constant theme that weaved in and out of my life. Even today, writing this, I can’t help but think: “Well what will people think about it?”
And the answer to that is simple, and it’s somewhere on the other side of fear.
Be authentic.
Literally, who cares what anyone else thinks? We can't create a new world by hitting ctrl+c and trying to be like everyone else, writing like everyone else, looking like everyone else. Sure, we can replicate their best practices, but what is it about you that sets you apart from everyone else?
We can edit our posts all day long, taking out the less desirable parts and floofing up the good stuff. But what we really need now in this world is less filtered Instagram photos or censored media feeds.
We need more raw human experience, unedited and unfiltered. We need real connection, and it is harder now than ever to achieve that even in the digital age (I repeat: there's something about a computer screen that just makes it harder to connect).
The best thing you can do is to be 100% authentically yourself. Forget the rules. Forget what's "popular."
Show up in your life and here on Steemit just the way you are. The world needs more of that, and the world needs more of you just as you are. By giving ourselves permission to be real, we gives others permission to be real, too. That's what is going to grow this platform and ideally change the world.
Sending you love where ever you are on the planet.
Can you relate?
Xo,
Stehlla
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Dear Stehllaxo:
I really enjoyed your childhood account and the conclusions you drew from it. I think you could write fantastic self-help kind of books, interspersed with personal memories.
By the way, there are all types of people one may meet in schools and introverts are certainly not the most annoying. I think the exact opposite can be much more difficult to deal with. Like the class clown who has two hypemen around him constantly telling him: "Duuuude, you should have your own TV show!". That's way more difficult to deal with than introverts.
Anyway, great writing and spot-on Illustration.
Regards,
Stefan