Lessley and Michael
Lessley got over his wife quickly cos he didn't really love her. He only wanted a placeholder-wife and Adriana is as good as any.
Michael on the other hand went full Buddhist on our ass and realized the absolute absurdity of attaching himself to impermanent things. He realized that, since every relation is contingent, having it is pointless.
Hey, that's as good an explanation as any :D
Lol. Of course, it is :D
In this case, I would say that Michael adapted better to the stressful event and found a way to feel fulfilled, satisfied and perhaps happy again. So he must have used better (more adaptive) coping strategies.
On the other hand, probably Lessley avoided dealing with his issues and found a placeholder wife - Adriana. We could even speculate that he had an issue with being too dependent on his life-partner and he couldn't deal with the situation of being alone/ single. Thus, he probably used an avoiding coping strategy and didn't deal with his dependency.
The success of the coping strategy depends on the final result. If the individual feels OK and the distress is gone, so it's OK. Whatever works, right?
I was wondering, is their a permanent thing that worth attaching to? :) Or if you are a Buddist, you never attach to anything?
P.S. How are you doing, btw? I am looking forward to your next part about Sex and the sexes :)
Well I don't know. I was watching the trailer for the new Death Wish (with Bruce Willis) and there was a scene with a psychologist who was telling Bruce Willis (who decided to deal with his issues by taking the law into his hands and killing villains) "whatever you're doing it's working, just keep it up" :D (I'm quoting from memory, but you can look up the trailer, probably the main one on IMDb).
Well I'm not a Buddhist but I love Buddhism. Depending on where one stands on Buddhism I might praise it or argue against it (like I did with Erica!)
Buddhists would probably admit there's some certainties maybe, like math, but perhaps they'd argue that attaching to them might still lead to potential suffering. For example if you get drunk you might get equations wrong, or if you become a mathematician you might get jealous of more accomplished colleagues :D
I think they'd argue that practically speaking you should just pay attention to the 4 Noble Truths, which are basically all about impermanence. As I keep reminding Erica, Buddhism is in the end a nihilistic religion, in the sense that its goal is to escape Life, which it deems as a bad thing. "Why not kill themselves then?" you might ask yourself. Well, as all anti-life (to borrow a Nietzschean term) religions, they always got a clause against suicide and killing! In the case of Christianity for instance it's just a sin (how lazy!) In the case of Buddhism it reveals attachment to an outcome and therefore as soon as you're dead you'll just return to serve your sentence in another life, so your killing yourself was pointless. But the goal is to escape and never return, to escape from the 'cycle of birth and rebirth', and that's what Nirvana is all about, and that's what the Buddha achieved: not just the temporary illusory death that suicide achieves, but permanent actual death! :D
I'm okay, preparing my next posts amidst many other hobbies that I try to juggle. Thanks for asking :)
I like the title Sex and the Sexes! ))
Lol! You like buzzing people, don't you! :D
Take it if you think it might fit somewhere. I would be flattered :D
Guilty! :D
Do you know about the reputation of Socrates as a gadfly? Philosophy is meant to unsettle people!
Lol. I knew it. Philosophers always try to cause trouble! That's why I have never liked these guys. :D
😢
Oh, no, the sad face. OK. I don't like some philosophers. Like Schopenhauer :)