During this last trip I was reminded of one of the many reasons I love to travel. Solo travel in many ways leaves you more approachable as well as makes you more likely to initiate conversations with strangers. My recent, brief, trip to Washington D.C. made me realize how incredibly important, powerful, and enriching human connection can be. It also reminded me of how vital it is, if you want to have the full richness of the human experience, to put yourself out there, to be fully present and an active participant in the world. My friend Juan is a natural at this and it's proven to be one of the best lessons he's taught me in our twenty-seven years of friendship.
The adventure began the moment I landed at Reagan National Airport. My Lyft driver, an older African man by the name of Mamadou, picked me up from the airport. During the twenty minute drive I was introduced to some great music from his native Senegal, learned about aviation (he was a pilot for almost thirty years), and just had a great conversation in general. Mamadou had been in the US for twenty-seven years and was just months away from retiring and moving back to Senegal. I gifted him a copy of my book.
Next came the organizer, participant, and emcee of the poetry reading at Busboys and Poets in DC, Dwayne. After the event concluded Juan and I stuck around to talk to some of the performers. Within the course of a fifteen minute conversation Dwayne gave my friend Juan some valuable information about some local art grants and we had a great exchange about poetry and traded social media info. I bought a copy of his most recent book of poetry.
Last, but not least, was Eric. It didn’t take us long to recognize we had a whole lot more in common than just our first names. I was lucky enough to be seated next to this young man on the flight back to Minnesota. He had a layover at MSP before his next flight to Anchorage. We talked, non-stop, during the entire flight. At twenty-four Eric had lived more than most people do in their entire lives. He was a BMX champion in his youth, was an avid fisherman, had most recently worked as an oysterman in Maryland, and was heading to Alaska to spend the next six months on a fishing boat in the Bering Sea. He said this was a lifelong dream of his to work on this 125ft boat and endure 30-40ft swells while trolling for cod, pollack, and halibut. If it all worked out his plan was to work his way up to captain someday.
Even though he and I had quite a bit in common, I have to admit he was infinitely more brave than I was at twenty-four. He was thrilled that the pilot gave him a stack of Delta trading cards and made sure I got one of my own, and wings. I told him I’d send him some of my books when I got back so he gave me his Mom’s address in Iowa and told me to send them there and he’d pick them up after his six month contract was up on the boat.
During that four day trip there were other connections like this but the ones I highlighted here were among the best. As we go about our busy days with out heads buried deeply in our screens, our minds on a million things, and earbuds firmly planted in our ears we, quite literally, have no idea the tragedy of what we're missing. Human connection is the best thing.
Human connection, in large part, is how the universe and synchronicity speaks to us. Yet we are, for some reason, afraid of it. We put up so many barriers to make sure we appear unapproachable. We're distrustful of strangers and often assume they have ill intentions—the truth of the matter is most people don't. People want to tell their stories, they want to be heard, they also want to learn our stories. We need to spend less time planning and preparing—more time on being, exploring, expressing, and enjoying. If we want to have a full and enriching life experience sometimes all we have to do is be brave enough to open ourselves up to that.
All for now. Make this a wonderful day.
Hello, dear friend @ericvancewalton, good afternoon.
I haven't had the good fortune to travel much, but in the few trips I have taken in my life, I’ve had similar experiences, and I agree with your statement: human beings are good people. As you rightly say, they are eager to learn from others' stories and to have their own stories heard.
Human connection works that way; we all have a story we want to tell, and it is always good to be heard.
Thank you very much for sharing this beautiful experience.
Warm regards to all your loved ones.
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Thank you for your kind words, Luis! I hope to meet you someday! Enjoy your week my friend.
That's cool that you met so many great people. I think that is something I will always struggle at. It just doesn't come very natural to me.
We are born with certain temperaments, I think. I'm not comfortable talking to a lot of people, although they love talking to me because I'm a great listener. If I sit on the plane next to someone who wants to talk, it's torture for me, because I'm polite and would never insult them. But at the end of the flight I'm exhausted :))
I don't do a very good job of hiding my disinterest... :)
😄
It doesn't always come naturally to me. My Dad was a complete extrovert, my Mom is the opposite. I feel like either of those influences can surface in my case, depending upon the situation. For some reason when I travel I take on more of my father's characteristics.
My wife is pretty good at talking to people and coming up with the snappy comebacks. I just never picked up on that skill. I'm also a pretty horrible listener I think.
The first time I traveled alone, I was a little scared that I would get bored
But later, I loved it a lot because whenever I wanted, I slept, whenever I wanted, I woke up, I went wherever I wanted, and I ate whatever I wanted
I used to tell my friends, It felt like I had taken my inner child on a trip
It's hard at first, isn't it? Traveling alone can make you feel self-conscious in the beginning. I've been doing a lot of solo trips back to my native Ohio since the pandemic and then last year to Austin, TX so I've had lots of practice. It felt like I had taken my inner child on a trip. I love that! It sums up what it feels like pretty well!
To be honest, it was so exciting at first that I didn't find it hard. Since I was traveling alone, I made friends with a few people. But my trip lasted for a month, so I got a bit tired towards the end. Whenever I saw a group of people taking pictures, I would walk right up and jump into their photos! We all laughed together. 😀
That sounds like a great experience! I'm sure that changed you in some ways.
You are probably an extravert, as an introvert it is really hard for me to talk to strangers...
I think I'm definitely a mixture of both (ambivert.) An ambivert sits in the middle of the introversion–extraversion spectrum and can draw on either set of traits depending on the situation, mood, people, or energy level. They might be outgoing at a party with close friends and quiet and reserved the next day, or social at work and prefer solitude at home.
When I was younger I definitely leaned more into introversion but seemed to embrace the extrovert side as I've aged.
Interesting, my wife and I seem to become more and more introverted with age...
Being curious is such a good trait. Do you think you're more willing to engage with strangers - and their stories - from the wisdom of age with a bit of Hive social pepper to season you than you were in the past? I certainly love a story and it's fun relating them on Hive too. As writers I guess we like to turn them into a paragraph or two!
Mamadou must be a reasonably common AFrican name. Certainly reminds me of this music .
I can't imagine being in this world and not being curious. I always wonder about people who aren't passionate about or interested in anything. Being open and socializing has definitely become easier for me as I've aged. I was such an introvert when I was younger but now I've discovered I am a textbook ambivert. I can easily be extraverted/social given the proper conditions but I can, just as easily, feel shy and want to crawl into my shell of solitude. During this trip it was more of the former. I found myself even striking up conversations with the security personnel at the museums.
Cool! I think Mamadou is a very common African name (it means "worthy of praise.") Wow, that song is incredible! In the beginning it reminded me a little of classical harpsichord. The Lyft driver was listening to music that was more modern and I would have guessed it was South American but he said it was from Senegal. I guess that makes sense because there's so much African influence in South America.
that 27 years of friendship captured my attention, you guys must have started since teenage age, human connection is something beyod measurable. I'm not a fan of travelling because here in my country except you are rich and can afford a seat of 2 for yourself alone, its very difficult but when i do get my own car I'll make that a hobby.
I'm 55 and Juan is nearly 70 years old so I was nearly 30 when we first became friends. I hope you get to travel. Travel really is the best entertainment and education.
thank you for letting me know, i will sir.
You are fortunate to have that natural ease with people. What a rich
experience. It's not something that comes easily to me, as @bozz comments. I don't miss it, but it puts me at odds with the expectations of most people. It's hard to stand back and not seem to be rude. The last thing I want to do is offend, but I'm just not comfortable in most casual situations where conversation is the norm.
It seems you had a wonderful time.
I get that from my Dad but sometimes I retreat into my shell. It depends on my mood and the environment. When I travel I'm on 10 typically. A true Gemini, I guess. My Dad could talk to anyone and was instantly relatable and likable. It came more natural to him, he was a true extrovert.
How wonderful! I hate to admit it, but I’m not really one for talking to strangers. I don’t have that impulse; yet, for some strange reason, I’ve often found myself meeting people by chance who end up telling me their whole life story—and then some. Hahaha. It would have been great if your namesake, Eric, had taken the books along on the ship; I’m sure he’d have time to read them at night. But reading them when he gets back works, too. Sending you a big hug, my friend.
It depends for me. The vibe/energy has to be right. There are so many people like that who just want to be heard. I only brought two books this trip and ended up giving one to Mamadou and the other to my friend Juan. I should have brought more—that'll be a lesson for the next time. Thank you Nancy! I hope all is well in your corner of the world!
We have become so digital and are using our mobile phones so much that we hardly meet each other physically. Even if we do meet after a few weeks, after a while, we cannot finish our conversations with each other. And every person has such a habit that he picks up his mobile phone and starts looking at everything on his mobile phone.
So true! Even if we're in close proximity to each other our devices can isolate us. I think we often forget we have the power to choose not to be a slave to those devices.
This is such a heartwarming and deeply inspiring read! In today’s digital age, we really do miss out on the beauty of real human connections. Thank you for reminding us to open our hearts and live in the moment
So glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for reading!
I'm so anti social compared to you, I mean I don't dislike talking to strangers but I find it takes an awful lot of effort to hold up a conversation, especially on a plane because once you start, your stuck with it for the entire flight whether you like it or not. Plus I find in difficult to trust strangers.
Talking of the Bering Sea (which I didn't know of before), did you read about the 15 year old who survived 2 days at sea by himself? He went fishing with his brother and cousin, and their boat capsized killing them both.
For me it totally depends upon how interesting and engaging the person is I'm speaking with. If I get cues from that person that they're done talking or uncomfortable I'll just watch a film, read, or work on my laptop. It helped that this was only a 2.5hr flight too.
I hadn't heard about that! That must've been an awful experience. One thing Eric shared with me is the fishing company he's working for told him that if you fall in the water is so cold that there's a very good chance you won't be going home. That makes it all the more miraculous the 15 year old survived so long in that water.
Here's the news if you're interested,
15-year-old rescued after clinging to capsized boat for days in Alaska's Bering Sea | CBC News https://share.google/fZKg1ORBMbJArWh9e
Thanks for this! Oh man, that's horrific.
Such a profound and heartwarming reflection! Human connections truly make life so much richer. ✨
#hive #posh