I'm also a problem solver ...
I've taken multiple courses in active listening, but I always have to start a conversation by internally determining ... OK, is this person telling me something that I need to resolve, or is it just something they need to get off their chest?
My wife and I actually verbalize this to each other ... "Hold on, are you just venting? Or do you want me to help you resolve something?" It sounds cold, but it actually helps us listen better and in different ways.
I consider myself a reasonable listener, but there's always room for improvement.
It's wonderful that you've taken steps to become a better listener. It sounds like you and your wife have a system that works for you and that's all that matters. I like the idea of verbalizing to make sure you're on the same page. It can seem like we're speaking different languages at times.