"When you first rise in the morning tell yourself: I will encounter busybodies, ingrates, egomaniacs, liars, the jealous and cranks. They are all stricken with these afflictions because they don't know the difference between good and evil. Because I have understood the beauty of good and the ugliness of evil, I know that these wrong-doers are still akin to me... and that none can do me harm, or implicate me in ugliness-nor can I be angry at my relatives or hate them. For we are made for cooperation." —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 2.1
It’s difficult to know exactly how divisive society was during Marcus Aurelius’ time but, today, it seems the whole of human society is split right down the middle when it comes to most issues. If one half of society thinks something is white, the other half will say it’s black.
This environment of constant disharmony leads to a lot of contention and a considerable of internal questioning of things like What’s a safe topic to talk about with this person? before we speak.
It also means having to hold your tongue to preserve relationships when people are passionately repeating what those of us who think critically know to be disinformation. This happens to me no less than a dozen times a day typically. Humanity can be messy and hard to deal with and to not remember this means setting yourself up for a lifetime of disappointment.
This intense and unnatural environment is directly a result of social media algorithms that trap users in echo chambers that reinforce their existing beliefs. Mainstream media outlets pour fuel on this bonfire of divisiveness by perpetuating disinformation, which further limits individuals’ exposure to more diverse perspectives.
To help insulate ourselves from all the negativity or instantaneous judgement it’s important for us all to remember—we’ve been sucked into echo chambers before, we’ve all been tricked by disinformation, we’ve all had bad days when we feel like a coiled spring waiting to release our tension on the next person we encounter. In short, we’re all human and some days can be extremely difficult.
We mustn’t always take offense to every difference of opinion or by beeping horns or “one finger salutes” in traffic (traffic is a huge test for me). We have to train ourselves to not be so easily offended because when we are we give away our personal power. That old quote by Plato is more true today than ever, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.”
Instead of instantly reacting to negativity, sometimes it’s best to take a deep breath, step back from the situation, and allow others to speak their piece. Oftentimes they come to the realization on their own that they were an ass and behaved poorly in the moment. If they aren’t a complete sociopath, and few are, their conscience will punish them more than you ever could.
If we wish for this world we all share to improve we must all learn to face the world each day with a little more kindness, patience, and understanding.
For the coming week, set a reminder on your mobile device for once during the morning and once in the afternoon yourself:
Am I Prepared for Negativity?
Then incorporate the 5-5-7 breathing technique after you receive the notification. It will slowly begin to change your life, try it and you’ll see.
Be well, make the most of this day. Thank you for reading!
If you're interested in learning to meditate, please take a look at my book, The Perfect Pause.
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We are being conditioned by the media to see the world as a bad place, and it's good to remind ourselves not to be sucked into that kind of negativity! It is so true - we do not know the battles other people are fighting!
I also saw something on FB that I believe is so true -
Thank you for this series, Eric <3
That is absolutely correct. They want to keep us in a state of fear/hate because, then, the majority of people can be more easily manipulated. Unfortunately it's working splendidly. I like that quote! However, I've adopted the attitude of taking a permanent hiatus from those people who are habitually unkind. I'm so glad you're enjoying it! I'm hoping to continue this Sunday Meditation Series for a year like I did with Memoir Monday.
That would be great! Memoir Monday was a resounding success; so many of the Silver Bloggers joined in. I missed some; started a list to see which topics I missed, hoping to catch up with them all.
Yep, even though that phrase is a good one, I also prefer to stay away from those!
They remind me that every day is a new opportunity to practice compassion, both for others and for ourselves. It won't always be easy, but it is certainly worth trying. And yes, I have always been prepared to celebrate the good and the bad, because things happen for a reason and I believe that this is the balance of life.
Yes, the thing I've come to realize (but fail to always remember) is when we don't practice compassion we're only hurting ourselves—both mentally and physically. Hate/fear/discord eat away at us like an acid.
Can I take a raincheck? :P This is an important reminder. A lot of semi-awake, so to speak, people seem to think it's enough to be awake themselves and ridicule the others, except where does that get us? Patience, as you say, and kindness are gonna be the keys, just as much as truth-seeking. I'm really enjoying this series, Eric.
Lol, it takes a lot of energy sometimes doesn't it? I see many of those people on socials who have chosen their hill to die on and try to convert everyone to their way of thinking. So much of that behavior is driven by ego (I'm right, you're wrong). It's exhausting to witness day in and day out and a little disappointing sometimes. I'm glad you're enjoying it! These posts aren't getting the traction they used to for some reason.
We are like-minded on this, @ericvancewalton:
Echo chambers. Yes. I would add one vital word to "... those of us who think critically know ..." Independent. Clearly implying the direct opposite of the mind numblingly sad state of affairs represented by participants in these echo chambers.
Does this raise a reasonable question?
Based on key words in your post. Negativity. Disinformation. How are we doing with our characterization of what is what? Particularly if, for whatever reason, we do not want to hear it?
My own at least partial answer? We might do well to think very carefully about accepting anything along the lines of "your truth" and "my truth." Perhaps we would all benefit from any constructive conversations around what is the truth.
Afterall, from an excerpt from your quote:
We see no reference here to your good and your evil. Or my good and my evil. Just an appeal to what we hope would be universally accepted as truly good and truly evil.
Great points! I like to think most people, unless they're somewhere on the antisocial behavioral personality disorder spectrum (sociopathy, psychopathy, etc.), share nearly the same definition of good and evil. Our perceptions color this "base-level" a little here and there. I think the problem is the echo-chambers are distorting this for a lot of people. It's imperative to free ourselves from these echo-chambers so we can recalibrate.
When it comes to politics— I always try to remember the quote, "Idolizing A Politician Is Like Believing The Stripper Really Likes You." This always seems to help me see things in a more balanced way and focus on the issues more than the rhetoric.
We agree, @ericvancewalton:
Recalibrate. As a result, will we see a return to any semblance of independent, critical, rational thinking? Accompanied by a return to being able to civilly and objectively discuss issues without resorting to personal insults or worse?
We can only hope and do our small part.
You're so right when you say...We can only hope and do our small part! Sometimes it's best to just teach by example.
As we expose ourselves to a more diverse set of opinions I think it's possible to recalibrate and see the larger picture. I guess it all depends upon how deeply down the ideological rabbit-holes a person is. It might be difficult to undo years of brainwashing, which is kind of what the echo-chambers accomplish. All of them use their own brand of spinning stories and disinformation.
Traffic really tests me too haha. Taking a breath helps, but some days nothing helps, pure frustration. It's a good advice you give, to stay calm with people
Traffic is the biggest test! If I can ever get through a week without beeping my horn or swearing I'll know I've "arrived". Lol.
hahahaha maybe one day I'll arrive but it might take a long long time, 🤣🤣
We're in the same boat! Lol. All we can do is keep trying.
yes indeed man yes indeed
Speaking about one finger salutes, did you notice an uptick recently due to all of the Tesla backlash? I am kind of glad I didn't buy a Tesla, here in Washington state it has become a safety issue. People even put stickers that say:
Oh yeah! I sure have. I wrote a post about it a while back. I think it's absolutely ridiculous people feel they have to put stickers on their cars to avoid vandalism.
Yeah, especially since Tesla was a symbol of progressive thinking, environmental awareness and in general was hated by Republicans until fairly recently.
The fact that these things can flip so quickly is a good example of how absurd the world is at the moment. The idea that of a vehicle being a virtue signal, either way, is pretty funny.
I must confess that sometimes I find it difficult to deal with certain types of people. Sometimes my instinct tells me to keep quiet and not throw more fuel on the fire and I swallow my words, but sometimes hearing so much ignorance makes me get my last names mixed up. It takes wisdom, patience and pounds of tolerance to keep walking through this world. Thanks for your recommendations. Hugs, Eric
It is really tough sometimes! Sometimes I'll try to steer conversations away from topics that I know to be triggers for certain people but they insist on talking about them anyway. Sometimes I'll say I'll agree to disagree with you on that. Let's talk about something else. For those people who know we have different opinions but want to always "go there" anyway, I feel it's a form of disrespect. You're welcome Nancy! Enjoy your weekend my friend.
I'm horrible at traffic too! I had an incident today where a guy passed about five cars at one time on a two lane road and almost caused an accident. I really need to be better about letting stuff like that go.
Traffic is a real struggle. The first time my wife rode with me she said she couldn't believe it because I'm mild-mannered for the most part unless something happens in traffic, then I turn into my father. Lol. I'm getting better in my fifties now, thankfully.
I hope I can get there eventually. I just started reading the book about the "Let Them" theory and it has been quite enlightening about some of my occasional behaviors.
Behavior is a reflection of our inner state, unfortunately we have lost the connection and this makes human relationships difficult.
Intolerance and impatience keep us away from the possibility of creating deep and nourishing relationships. I agree with you that kindness, patience and understanding are the way. Greetings @ericvancewalton
True! I can't imagine how many relationships and friendships have been lost over this.
We can’t divorce negativities from life like you said and you’ve laid it all out.
I get so worked up from work that sometimes I just need to breath. AMA set that alarm and do that 5-5-7 and see where it leads cos man I could use that break sometimes.
It's challenging but the great part is we can all work on it. I'm more than thirty years deep in working on it and it's still a challenge sometimes. Life becomes so much better when we have control over our emotions and intellect.
Sure
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