Wow. I know it will come as a shock, but my family had a similar dynamic.
My father, the kind-to-his-students teacher with a degree in child psychology, used a rapier wit, and sometimes just a rapier tongue, to cut down my mom and my older sisters regularly.
I was generally "spared," as his natural daughter, though it hurt me to see my loved ones so treated. But then I was also given similar treatment by those sisters, particularly Carol, the closest to me in age.
I always found it interesting that the sister who was my greatest champion was also my greatest tormentor. I know she loved me deeply, as I loved her, but it goes to how unhappy she was in her personal life.
I was a handy target to take out her frustrations, especially when she perceived me as being far happier than she. Of course, the fact that I made a conscious decision to be happy, while it didn't escape her, also never motivated her to follow suit.
I have, throughout my life, done my best to resist the temptation to give like treatment in return. I'm far from perfect in that, and my buttons can certainly be pushed, by I do my best to live a kinder life.
I dated a man for several years in Florida who made belittling jokes at my expense on a regular basis. He was mostly a good guy, but I got tired of being treated like crap, and ultimately gave him the heave ho. And I'm so glad I did.
None of us deserve to be treated like that. We are worthy because we are human, and no one and nothing can take that from us.
We can choose to not give our power away. It's not easy, but it can be done, and if we don't treat ourselves well, neither will anyone else.
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Thank you for sharing those insights and personal details - I wouldn't have guessed your dad had been sharp-tongued or your beloved sister Carol was ever both your #1 champion and #1 tormentor. Great observation about your CHOOSING to be happy, and great that you had the volition to break up with a guy who demeaned you - I've seen guys do this and how clever they appear to their friends, but how old it gets to be the butt of his sense of "humor." Thanks again for this and Happy Holidays!