Hey there Hive community,
Above is a photo of me and my dad, taken with the selfie stick he can't stop raving about. It's his last night in Hawaii and we spent some quality time together. Tonight, we had such a high vibe dinner with the family. The deepening relationship between my dad and his girlfriend of 7 years has brought her family and ours together, creating an interesting and challenging mix of different personalities. This vacation has definitely revealed these family dynamics, which has created significant tension the past several days.
Despite all of this, we all enjoyed each other's company at dinner tonight. We laughed and celebrated. The food was excellent, and the live music was a beautiful addition to the atmosphere. I saw my family members relax into themselves, letting themselves be silly and unguarded. I believe that all of us felt the goodness in the room. Perhaps it felt even more potent given the grind it's been for us to navigate interpersonal struggle and the messiness of relationship. Yet the humanity in the room was palpable. Everyone could feel the energy, even if they didn't have words for it. These little moments can transcend all those struggles.
Any intimate relationship is subject to conflict and managing differences. Discomfort can be a signal to slow things down, get present, and open our minds and hearts. To me, it's an invitation to become more real with each other. Most families don't take up this invitation, which is partly due to lack of effective communication skills and tools. These skills can be game-changers, and they've empowered me to set healthy boundaries with my family while maintaining respect, honesty, and authenticity with them. However, I'm learning that the invitation for deeper intimacy doesn't solely come from effective communication skills.
I think the right alchemy has to emerge. The right energy in the room, the right context, the right conditions. The messiness of family stuff will likely not go away, but every so often we get a glimpse of meaningful connection with each other when this alchemy emerges. Although small and temporary, these moments matter a lot. They're humbling, and they show us what's possible.
Anyways, I'm typing this a bit tipsy and I find myself in my depth of feeling with family stuff. Thanks for tuning in.
Here's Pt. 2 of dancing in Hawaii and taking in this beautiful land of mystery, beauty, and awe! It was in the 80s and super sunny today, and I had so much fun getting kissed by the sun, getting sweaty, and moving in my favorite bathing suit :)