I’m sorry if I’m missing your language, but know I’m talking to all of you. Steemit reached my heart.
Wow, Steemit. What can I say? My hypocritical mind doubted this would all be some fairytale… but apparently my fairytale has just begun. So first of all, I want to share what you did to my life by upvoting my post and why I am thanking you in so many languages!
My endless traveling gives my reality color and decorates it with precious moments for which I’m grateful every single day. However, like everything in the essence of our existence, it comes with sacrifices. My sacrifice is that I had to give up on my friends and the time I could spend with my family. I have never been the typical family-woman, - I have about 50 cousins and some of them I never saw in real life - but the bond between me and my mother is unbreakable. I am her only child. She is the only one that truly gets me.
When I wanted to tell her about my departure I just had to start with “Mum…”, and she said “Sssht Stéphanie, I know, you have to go. My whole life I wanted to do what you do but I never had the balls. I am 60 years old right now and I’m looking back on a life of missed opportunities. It’s time to say goodbye now, whenever life brings us back together we will see each other again.” No prejudices. No doubts. Just strength, knowing she would be alone from then on. Now you must know, I come from a very simple working-class family. There isn’t an endless money supply. One time my mother scraped all her savings together and flew all the way to Nicaragua to see me, her first time so far away from her home. She was really scared but her love crosses every ocean… This is almost a year ago. We both knew it would end with another difficult goodbye.
Then you guys came in.
With all your support and positive energy you gave me something I will never forget:
The opportunity to buy my mum a ticket to visit me in South America.
I can hardly believe it, but in about 3 months she is coming. I will be able to hold her again, hear her voice… I’m typing this with tears in my eyes. I went through the replies of my last post and whoever wrote down his or her nationality found a little ‘thank you’ note in the beginning of this post. Honestly, THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart, you brought incredible happiness!
She just sent this photo from the Netherlands to thank you all!
So, now you deserve a story. A good one.
In the replies on my last post I got a lot of questions from people asking if I also encountered negative experiences during my travels. Well… if life is only positive, would you be able to see it as positivity or would it be ‘normal’? To experience peaks you need to know how downs feel. So yes, I experienced the necessary shittiness, life happens. It immediately addresses the comments I saw of several readers assuming my lifestyle can only be obtained being a ‘pretty white girl’. Even though skin color and appearance is not something I can directly influence, I am the last to deny that many things are granted to you when you represent an opportunity for sex to some people. We live in a world that attaches a lot of value to external display and looking a certain way opens many doors, with the hidden expectation it might subsequently open some legs as well. And sometimes negative results come your way if those legs don’t open automatically.
I have been ruffeed more than once, followed, harassed and touched in certain places without prior permission. I once woke up in a hostel bed with a guy watching me while playing with something else. I spent a night barricading all the entrances of my accommodation, because seven crack-smoking men kept on slamming my door while advertising the qualities of their genitals.
But the most terrifying experience happened to me in Valparaíso, Chile.
I stayed on the top of a mountain, providing scenic views over the stunning harbor of this vibrant, colorful town. That day I met some interesting people that invited me over for snacks, drinks and a typical Chilean dance performance. It was day time and the sky showed all its colors, so I decided to go for a scenic walk down the hills and meet them there. As there was no ‘main road’ I followed the many swaying little lanes and passages… until I got lost. It seemed awfully quiet all of a sudden, so I tried to figure out how to get back somehow.
A man appeared, speaking to me in Spanish. Back then I didn’t understand the language very well, but I understood he said it was a dangerous neighborhood and I shouldn’t be here. He knew the way, he would take me somewhere safe. I looked into his eyes that seemed blurry and felt my instinct holding up red blinking warning signs. I smiled and mumbled some “no gracias” and tried to move passed him. He instantly grabbed my arm and said I probably didn’t understand him correctly. Then from all roads I could go into I saw other men arriving, another three in total. I knew I was f#cked, I knew they were going to rob me. On my prior job as a hotel manager I once had an ‘assault training’ with very realistic actor-led role playing and I remembered cooperation is key. Don’t make them angry, they are in an aggressive ‘high’ and might have a weapon. An inner tranquility took a hold of me, I evaluated what I had (a camera, a phone and some money) and decided I would just do as they say, give away what I had and be done with it. It’s just material possessions.
Under pressure I followed them, until we ended up in some alley. One of them immediately grabbed me by the throat and pushed me against the wall. One of them pulled a knife, another broke a glass bottle and pointed it at me. I held up my arms end let them empty my pockets. I just imagined happy places and waited until it would be over. It wasn’t over.
Once they took my stuff the one holding my throat kept staring at me. He said something to the other guys I didn’t understand and touched my face with his. He started loosening his pants. My inner calm immediately transformed into blind panic. I literally peed my pants, as an intense fear took over all my body functions. I started begging, please, please don’t do this to me. Take everything but not this. They laughed. This stupid white girl begging, that’s one story to take to the pub. I saw the knife still shining in the sunlight and realized I would probably die now. I’m a foreign woman all alone, no one knows where I am, no one would be missing me anytime soon. Then it hit me. If they might kill me anyway, I have nothing to lose. I can die raped and dishonored, begging for my life. Or I could die running towards my freedom.
Before I realized what I was doing I had kicked the man that was holding me in the nuts and I was running out of that alley, in an unknown direction somewhere uphill. All these scientific theories I read in the past seemed to be true: in a fight to survive some primal power takes over and gives you a strength you can’t access in daily life. I heard angry screams behind me. Wild footsteps. I have no idea how long it went on, I could have been running for 3 minutes or almost half an hour, but I kept on zig-zagging into different aisles, hoping it wouldn’t be a dead end… because then for sure it would be for me. Then, a bit further up, I saw a man hanging out of his window, smoking a cigarette. I started screaming, “open the door, open the door, por favor, peligro peligro!”. I had no idea if this man would help me or make the situation even worse, but he was all I had. I had no other option then to put my life in the hands of this complete stranger.
He opened the door. His wife and children were standing behind him, with big brown eyes watching this bewildered creature. Immediately they took my hand and dragged me in, trying to calm me down when I started trembling uncontrollably. I couldn’t explain what happened, but the woman saw the (pre-ejaculate) sperm on my clothing. I shook my head, letting them know it didn’t come that far. These life-savers, of whom I don’t even know the names, then called the people I was staying at. My hosts brought me to the police and helped me translating… The female police officer that wrote the report than shook her head and said “I’m not writing that down, that never happens here.” I couldn’t believe my ears. I went through all of this and they think I pass by the police office for some cup of tea and gossip? She was a woman even! But nope, she would just write down that my camera was stolen, that’s it. I stood up and walked out. Without a satisfying police report, but with my life.
And that Steemers, is my story. One of the many. I have never written this down in my life, I’m publicly opening up about this for the very first time.I’m not a victim. It’s no desperate scream for attention. It’s just a short chapter in my life that I finished once it ended.
This could have happened ANYWHERE. Chile is one of the most stunning countries I have ever seen.
I’m not naive, I know there’s always a tiny percentage of bad stuff glancing around some corner wherever you go… but the beauty of traveling lies in going out to explore that other 99,99% that makes life worthwhile. Experiences like this made me more alert, but more motivated than ever to go out there to discover what the world has in store for me.
With my first post you gave me the trust to share this with you, so I feel my words are in good hands. I would like to give you a say in my posts to follow.
If you want to read more of my craziness please comment the story you would like to read next time:
- The story about my stay in a deserted beach hotel somewhere in a remote Panamanian paradise, a few hours away from humanity… together with some friendly coke-sniffing, whiskey-for-breakfast-drinking Czech-Slovakian fugitives with fake passports that appeared to be on Interpol for a massive tax fraud.
- In line with my mum coming (thanks to YOU guys): The story about my mother roaming around Nicaragua with me after not seeing each other for over a year. Let’s pick the adventures in the enchanting place of León.
- The story about a 3-day hitch-hike in several trucks from the Mexican city of Mérida to the enchanting scenery of Oaxaca. This story includes some cartel chit-chat, cultural babble and cactus for dinner.
Until we meet
Follow me on my travel blog: http://www.budgetbucketlist.com
The way you handled the situation was to be commended.
The way the police handled the situation? Sickening.
Yeah, didn't get that at all... I guess there's some cooperation going on there?
Women around the world are just not taken seriously. Shame on those police!
I think this is because force is what gets you taken seriously, throughout most of the world.
thx your mum)
Haha I will VEEEEEEERY soon, in person! Can't hardly hide my excitement!!!
Wow, this was a quite an emotional roller-coaster. I was first like: Hey! Look who's back, then happy that your mom was coming to visit you, then worried, then relieved, especially the part where you said that you are not a victim. Don't lose your adventurous spirit. :)
Hanging out with a cartel? I think you should write a book someday. Makes me wonder, what other crazy stories you have? Did you ever wake up in another country totally by accident? ;)
Just followed your blog, keep us posted and welcome back!
Make new great memories :)
I hope you enjoyed the ride ;) I didn't hang out with the cartel (at least not that I know of, just Czech-Slovakian fugitives that's enough), but during the hitch-hiking I heard some incredible experiences from people who are completely soaked into that reality. Their stories made a massive impact on me, makes this one sound like chickenshit. Never woke up in a country by accident no, that would be epic. Maybe I should start drinking more.
Haha It's not epic, trust me. Your friends laugh alright, and they'll never forget! :) They keep reminding you.
Btw, if you don't mind me asking, Czech-Slovakian fugitives? I thought those countries split...When was this? Did you used to kick-ass in the 1990s as well? ;)
Just kidding, welcome back Stéphanie.
Haha, well... some of them were out of the country that long already. Some were younger and 'just' Slovakian, but the hotel seemed to be their shelter. And that hotel was on Couchsurfing hahaha. Of course I had to find i t;)
Hahaha! A hotel on Couchsurfing? I'm definitely gonna follow your blog! Something tells me you have the most interesting stories. :)
Let us know what you find in Patagonia, if you're still going there I mean... Or maybe I should wish you just a 'normal' trip, I don't know. Good luck anyways. :)
maybe you need some equipment to survive from gang rape:3
True! But how many borders can you cross with pepper spray or a teaser?
not only that.... buy some airgun or something else :v
A good teaser can probably get you sneaking your taser across :-p
"Sadly, we live in patriarchal world"
There's far too much delusion going on here. It was all over the original post and in the replies. The fact is, when you look outside your window, those things women refer to as "cute" like squirrels and rabbits are just raping and killing each other all day long.
This is called the law of the jungle. Men know damn well this is the only real set of laws that apply and everything on top of it is just a thin veneer of bullshit. If a man goes near a dark alley or a bunch of shady 3rd world crackheads, he's not reciting some SJW speech to them while passing by pretending that's going to do anything.
Her post was basically just saying "Look how naive and careless I am!", then people try to blame or demonize men afterwards like it's their fault the law of the jungle exists. Sorry SJWs, you are not socially engineering things like natural selection or force as the top hierarchical consensus mechanism out of existence.
Gravity doesn't bend to your will; this is the way life has and always will be for billions of years, and applies to both male and female. Choose to ignore it or pretend your liberal arts, SJW classes in college weren't entirely fictional, and you will likely find yourself deleted from the gene pool sooner than you wish.
So you are denying that as men (and especially white ones) we do not control most of what happens in the world?
BTW using the analogy of animals, there are many animals who cooperate in groups.
Let's try not to sound like a dumb squirrel that just wants to bust a nut. It is easy enough to socially engineer natural selection, just send classes of people to war against each other. See problem solved just convinced the stupid and aggressive ones to kill each other while making money off them selling weapons.
"So you are denying that as men (and especially white ones) we do not control most of what happens in the world?"
Of course I'm denying that. You must be the lowest information voter that exists on the planet earth. There it is right there out in the open. "White" males do not run the west. The west is run by a racial supremacist mafia, who has acquired power through severe use of nepotism, just like how the Italian mafia works, but they do not go by a generic term called "white":
You are amongst the bravest women i have ever seen . It takes real courage to do that . You got ballz of steel!
In fact I do. For reasons unknown I once thought I should cram a steelen bar through my nipple.
Good for you for finding the courage to run away from those men! Even more courageous is traveling the world on your own. Kuddos to you!
Smiling shyly
I'm really sorry about what happened to you. Sadly, we live in patriarchal world where objectification and discrimination of women is a norm and part of our global culture (intensity of patriarchy and discrimination of women only varies geopolitically).
You have shown a great example of self defense under stress. Many people shut down and freeze in paralyzing fear when their body switches to "fight or flight" response. I have been practicing Krav Maga (Israeli self defense) for few years and I have to say that many long term Krav Maga practitioners may not react as quickly and efficiently as you did.
You are a true Amazon warrior :-)
And for the next, please post "The story about my stay in a deserted beach hotel somewhere in a remote Panamanian paradise, a few hours away from humanity… " Thanks :-)
Yes I read about the freeze, fight and flight theory before, but there's indeed only one way to find out which one applies to you. So a combination of fight and flight for me I guess haha. I have total peace with what happened, no traumas... It was really shitty at that moment, but hey, I lived to tell the story ;) Krav Maga sounds like the way to go, can you take those without having to sign up for a course (because I'm moving around all the time)?
I'm glad that there is no trauma :-)
I know that different clubs may organize one off fee workshops or masterclasses but generally you have to pay monthly membership. Many clubs also offer first trial class free.
You just need to find out in your area.. If you have any club in certain area in mind, let me know I will have a look if the teaching is any good :-)
Haha, well I'm moving around quite often, so I could start my own krav maga freebie trail by trying first trial classes in every place I go haha. I'm know going around Argentina, any suggestions?
Oh you got me difficult one! :-) It seems that KM is not very popular in Argentina. I found one club with higher ranking instructor in one of the provinces:
http://www.kravmaga-tucuman.com.ar/
I cannot guarantee what quality there is, because I can't seem to find any videos from their training :/
"live in patriarchal world where objectification and discrimination of women is a norm"....ugh. true.
The funny thing is that women hold the keys to their own freedom. They are in charge of bringing new humans into the world and making sure they don't become psychopath misogynists. I hope to inspire a woman to start the No Peace? No Pussy! Know Peace? Know Pussy! movement some day. It could teach women how to identify and not breed with or raise psychopaths. The reason I think a woman needs to start it is because every "feminist" I've talked attempted to talk about it with has refused to rationally evaluate my ideas simply because of my gender.
You're making a lot of money for your stories!! Pretty remarkable considering we live under an evil patriarchy!! ::rofl.jpg::
rock on girl
Well, this is just the 2nd one, let's see how it goes ;)
I want to read all three of the ones you propose next, so I don't know what to say.
3 posts a week might be a bit much for steemit haha, they'll get tired of me very soon ;)
Ok, then I'd have to choose the story about Mexico first. I've always thought of hitching as unnecessarily dangerous but never had any experience of it.
Hope your mum has a good time traveling!
Your vote is noted ;) Thanks a lot, I'm sure she will. Maybe I should get her some 'made possible by steemit' stickers for on her suitcase, what do you think?
I am cant even begin to imagine what you went through and it takes courage and bravery to face it and share it. I am truly grateful for your contribution.
Well it happened and then it passed again, that's the great thing about time ;) It's really good to read you appreciated it, thank you for the support
Keep up the great work @budgetbucketlist
Upvoted
Thanks a lot!
A few horrible humans can really ruin it for many. Congratulations on your brave escape. Have you considered additional self defense training ?
Well, luckily it's exactly that: a few. In the rest of my travels I was continuously overwhelmed with the selfless hospitality people grant to complete strangers (me). People can be really beautiful... until they are not ;)
Im so sorry you had that terrible experience. I am impressed by your travel but please be safe out there.
I always try to :)
Incredible story, really. I'm proud of you :)
Thanks a lot :)
Holy potato! What a terrifying experience! Glad you made it out of there.
I'm glad too, I must say. Thanks for reading!
It's good that you are so close to your mom. I lost my mom 2 1/2 years ago, and I was her only child. We were really close and I plan on writing a post about her as soon as I can put it all together. Good luck on your travels and try to stay safe!
I'm so sorry for your loss. It must be very difficult and highly emotional to write your story down, but it's really courageous that you're doing it. Please keep me informed once you posted it, I'm sure it will be a beautiful one.
Thanks! I will!
Excellent. Girl steamer.
Good post. It is evident that you do not stand still, and move only forward. So many goals, I hope you reach them all.
Thank you.
Well, I would like to say I 'hope' so to, but someone very smart told me I should say I WILL to not make it optional. So yes, I will! Haha, thanks a lot for reading it, I hope we meet again on Steemit (or real life, who knows).
Okay. Good luck! ;)
be strong. you're a real fighter.
Thanks for your kind words
You're welcome
I am appreciateing of you very much. And we shoul use our limit life to exprience some more thing.
I'd love to hear about Mezico, been twice but Merida. Love the colourful friendly people x
Noted, keeping a tally!
OH my god!!!! This story was intense!!!!!!!! It had my adrenal glands on fire!
I have traveled a lot too, and as a woman, I actually never felt in danger! I feel more in danger in the USA. But I mostly traveled in Japan....always alone though, as that's the best way to travel!
I look forward to more of your posts. Great story-writing skills....or in your case, SKILLZ!!!!!!!!
Thanks for your compliments! Yeah, the thing is, I never really FEEL in danger either, people are in general good, but you just sometimes cross paths with the 'bad apples'. I never let myself be limited by it though, that would be a sad waste... as a writer it's kind of good I guess weird stuff always seems to find me ;) Can I read your stories somewhere too?
This post definitely comes under the heading of MIND-MELTING
Phew, that was quite a read - glad you are ok... Since you asked for feedback: I'd take the cartel & cactus story next.
Aaaaand noted :) See you in the next post!
"If you were born without wings, do nothing to prevent them from growing." Coco Chanel
Love that one! I once read a quote saying 'caged birds think flying is an illness'... to tag on a bit ;)
I am working and travelling in africa aroud 5 years.Now i have some expriece and exciting things to share with you. And i also have some nice pictures to show you ,but i do not know how to put the pictures in my article, i hope someone can teach me , then i can share my article and pictures to all of you.
If you can teach me , i will appreciate you a lot.
Just upload the pictures here: https://www.steemimg.com/ and copy the codes. For some more in-depth info I recommend to read Steemit articles about 'Markdown', they have the best tips. Good luck!
Thanks for sharing. From one solo travelling female to another it's very inspiring to see you didn't give up on your passion for travel after such a scary experience. Good on you!
You are one strong woman! I felt sick even reading your story. I'm so glad you made it out alive. <3
Excellent read, thx
What a story! Thank you for sharing this! Looking forward for more of your travel experience!
You don't let fear stop you. That's inspiring!
I'm sorry you had to experience this but I'm glad you had the strength to write about it.
Hey @budgetbucketlist! You’re in the Steemit’s #Top 10 Most Inspiring Travel Stories on Steemit! Check it here: https://steemit.com/steemit/@chrisadventures/the-first-official-steemit-top10-top-10-most-inspirational-travel-stories-on-steemit
Just if anyone wonders how the "low crime" statistics of Latin America come together (especially in the tourist areas). I know some ppl down here in MX who would not even bother to go to the police.
holy shit. Glad you're alive
Nice @budgetbucketlist
Shot you an Upvote :)