The day after Christmas, my grandfather passed away.
There is an old Korean saying that usually elderly people pass away after holidays. They could see their sons and daughters and come to the realization that they have got everything they wanted in their life (especially things related to their descendants and family, because most Korean elderly people have been influenced by Confucian ideas) they are relieved and feel fine to leave this world.
Christmas is not a traditional Korean holiday, but these days many Korean people celebrate Christmas.
Some because they have become Christian and others for other reasons.
Perhaps my grandfather also celebrated Christmas with my uncle and my father. He might have thought this is the time to say goodbye to the world. I will never know as I hadn’t visited him for a couple of years.
My grandfather had been sick for long time. He suffered from diabetes.
I never seen him being healthy, he was hospitalized often.
But no one expected this sudden death.
In the morning of 26th of December, almost right after I got to work I got a message from mom.
"Your grandfather is in very serious condition. Maybe he passed away."
What does it mean.. "maybe he passed away?". I called her right after I got the message. The thing is, she also didn’t know what had happened. She got a message from my father about my grandfather. My father went to the hospital. That's all she knew. We were waiting for my father's message for about 2 hours and then I called him.
"What happened? What are we supposed to do?"
I asked him.
He didn't say my grandfather passed away. He said he is really busy so he will call me again. After a few hours he said "talk to your boss and come to the blue roof funeral home in Incheon with your sister"
My grandfather didn't leave a will but only left behind his properties and some of his money. Money means nothing to a dead person. He could not carry the money to his coffin. I thought about what is the most important thing in someone's life, my life.
Memento mori.
My family spent 3 days in the funeral house receiving guests. Distant relatives and my grandfather's friends visited us in the funeral home.
We served some food to them. As this is a Korean tradition and is found in those of all or no religions.
My father and uncles talked to them. Some of them suddenly started crying. When someone cried, my uncles cried together. Few minutes later they seemed calm and smiled eating foods.
People were on an emotional roller coaster. I was too. Everyone seemed weird and insane. Who could be normal and sane in that situation?
On the second day in the funeral home, a Buddhist monk came and held a ritual. While the monk was holding it, some of the guests dined. I found it very weird.
I could not understand people smiling or dining. Even some people played video games while they were not talking.
I was ranting. My sister was next to me and I talked to her about how I felt. We are very close, I thought she can understand my point.
"They are not empathetic or weird." I said to her. "Perhaps they were just trying to escape from this horrible reality." She replied.
On the last day in the funeral home we were heading to the crematorium.
My auntie started crying again, as that was the very last moment of my grandfather’s body.
After an hour we could see remains, bones and ashes. They were put in a small pottery jar. It was heartbreaking.
My father (who is the oldest son) carried the jar to the ossuary building nearby.
The building looked like a small park. It was decorated with artificial flowers and ornaments.
The atmosphere was not depressing at all. The building was beautiful. There were many pottery jars of other deceased people.
I looked at them closely. Most of them belong to elderly people but I found one for someone who was in his 30s. Suddenly it reminded me of an uncle who passed away 10 years ago. He was at my age when he passed away. He was in his late 20s. No one knows the exact causes of his death. He was found dead in his room one day.
Death is inevitable.
You never know what might happen tomorrow.
On the way to home from the ossuary building, I felt the weather was really nice and beautiful.
The sun was shining and there were not many clouds in the sky.
Perhaps I should have not thought the world and life are beautiful on my grandfather's funeral day.
However, I thought the world is full of interesting things and I must experience everything.
The more I think about the death the more I think about the life I really want.
A week later I bought a flight ticket to Okinawa, and two weeks later I decided to quit my job and start traveling full time.
Thanks for reading, see you next time!