Thank you very much for your sincere and touching comment. I completely understand what you're feeling with this rigid routine that seems to repeat day after day. It's a situation many of us find ourselves in at one point or another in our lives. I myself was there a few years ago, and I still sometimes fall back into those patterns.
In my opinion, the best way to go about it if you like to have control, is to start small. Reserve a slot in your day, even just 30 minutes, dedicated to something new or unexpected. This could be a simple walk, reading a chapter of a book, or even just sitting down to think. It's a good start to open yourself up to flexibility.
As for the desire for solitude and freedom, I totally understand 🙏