Something I always disliked in pretty much everything I tried was taking shortcuts.
It started with video games, especially the online ones that I'd play with my friends. I would create a character and begin leveling it up, finishing quests, challenges and other things that the game had to offer. I would get to whatever level I could and get the best gear I could afford.
Now, I always liked to follow such a path. I never liked taking advantage of events and "unique loot", of using all kind of buffs that I would get at random times, or anything of the sort. I would always think "what's the fun in that? If I just get what I want because I 'cheat' with an event or with some help from someone better than me, then what do I do after that? What's the satisfaction in just getting good loot or a high level quickly without enjoying the game itself?"
I was right, in a way. If the point of the game you play is to grow your character and get better loot, but you can get those things quickly by using events and getting help and so on, then what else is there to do? You get rid of the entire point of the game.
This type of thinking ensured that I had fun playing games. But it also greatly handicapped me. While my friends were having fun in high level dungeons, killing strong bosses and getting more loot, leveling up more and getting more skills, I was still trying to get to the same point in the game through "normal ways".
Sure, I had fun, but I was always a bit annoyed at this disparity between me and my friends. Why couldn't they enjoy doing things my way? Why couldn't I enjoy doing things their way? Did I want to have a harder time? Was that the problem? Did I just not like the idea of an unfair advantage?
Regardless of the reason, in time I realized that there are moments in which an advantage is just that - an advantage. Whether it is unfair or not, that's debatable. If you can get good loot because of an event, or a strategy you use (assuming you don't cheat), maybe you should be thankful for the opportunity and use whatever you can get.
Because of this change in mentality I realized that I've been using my "old ways" in my work as well. I always thought "well, why would I ever promote myself, or look for ways in which to get more attention, more followers, or anything of the sort? I should just work hard and await the rewards that I deserve".
I doubt it would surprise anyone to find out that things didn't always work well for me. I basically "restrained" myself and what I could achieve whenever I thought that an action would be "unethical". "Work and you shall be rewarded" is what I always thought. But work for who? And who will reward you? Who will notice? Who will care?
Life is unfair to pretty much everyone, and I somehow thought that if I just want something really bad, and I just wait for it, life will reward me. Pretty foolish, don't you think? I don't think that you should look for shortcuts or cheat just because life is unfair. But you shouldn't reject an opportunity, or even the thought of taking it, just because you want to do things in a specific way. Maybe that specific way is wrong.
Because of all that I decided that I should think about making a change. Not a big one, but a change nonetheless. What sort of change? I don't really know myself, to be honest.
Maybe I should learn a bit of SEO and marketing, and learn how to get people to discover me instead of waiting for a miracle. Maybe I should learn how to write in a way that will attract people, instead of just doing it however I feel like and wait for the right people to notice my work. Maybe I should learn how to create things that people would be interested in, instead of hoping that my "genius" will, at some point, be understood.
Basically, I should learn how to do things the right way, instead of just being stubborn and playing a game that isn't mine by rules I invented myself. I need to learn how the system works and then use it to my advantage, instead of sticking to my old ways that obviously don't work.
Does this mean that I am looking to become one of those "soulless" content creators that do anything they can to get followers and views because all they want is to make some extra money? No, of course not. But why can't I continue to be me, while also doing the right things to get what the "soulless" content creator gets?
At this point, this is all just an idea. I basically want to just combined what I always did with the right methods that would allow me to build something for myself. I just don't have the time yet to do enough research and learn whatever I need in order to achieve my goal. I still have to wait until I can dedicate more time to this. Acknowledging the problem and searching or a solution should suffice, for now.