Terrorists? You're screwed

in #world3 years ago

Kunming, China — When your country is threatened by terrorists intent on using aggressive ideologies to undermine your economic status, what do you do? You take a few bricks and smash them over your head, of course. This is the new military stratagem currently being implemented by both Indian and Chinese soldiers based in the Yunnan Province.

Over the years, there have been numerous solutions to dealing with terrorism. The American government chooses the time honored tradition of blowing things up while us Britons p..refer to smile, wave a bit and have a bit of a whinge when no-one is looking. But the Chinese solution of putting some bricks on your head and smashing them up with a hammer has taken political diplomacy to a whole new level..

Protect your country. Smash up some bricks.

Chinese President, Hu Jintao, is expected to introduce this security measure to Chinese citizens as well as the army. Due to the importance of national security, small illustrated manuals are to be issued in the event of an emergency. These small booklets will provide simple instructions on where to locate your nearest pile of bricks, how to assemble them upon your head and of course, obtaining a nearby hammer.

“It’s crucial that our people really start hammering away for good of mankind,” said one third party spokesperson for the People’s Republic of China. “Once those terrorists see us bashing ourselves over the head, they’ll soon learn that we’re a force to be reckoned with.”