Hi everyone! This is my entry for @steemfluencer's shipwreck creative writing challenge. We were tasked to write a story that included a shipwreck using one of the three prompts he gave us. I chose the third option, it's this one:
-- Ok. Thank you so much! Have a nice day! Bye!
Jason closed his phone and went out on the balcony. He stared at the clouds and felt goose bumps all over his body. He had never felt like this before.
Winning two tickets for 7-night Mediterranean Cruise from Civitavecchia was his most desired dream. It was the beginning of year and until yesterday he was struggling to choose the best gift for his girlfriend’s birthday on January 13.
Jason was a 22 year-old student studying Business Analytics at the University of Bologna, Italy. He was in love with his girlfriend Sarah for the last 6 months.
It was January 8 and they had to show at Cruise Terminal in the morning of January 13.
She was the happiest girl when he surprised her with the pleasant news later that night. They both enjoyed looking at the itinerary that included visiting Tuskany’s Isola del Giglio and Savona.
Five days later they arrived at Terminal A of the Cruise Terminal complex. It was 6 p.m. and they still had 40 minutes before boarding on their cruise Costa Concordia.
When the Darkness Calls
“Amore mio, will you keep still? The cruise won’t be going anywhere without us,” Jason watched with hawk eyes as Sarah paced; the sound her feet made as they came in contact with the ground was worsening the pulsing in his head.
“Not even calling me my love will calm me down Jason. I’m too excited to stand still,” she smiled and Jason swore her rhythm went up a notch or two.
In order to keep his peace of mind, he kissed her forehead and walked to where he could admire the Costa Concordia. Jason had never seen something as grand. Reading all the endless possibilities of entertainment left him starry eyed.
An hour later, he found himself in the thalassotherapy pool. The seawater was warm and it calmed him. He hadn’t even heard of thalassotherapy before getting on the Costa Concordia but he liked it already. Sarah had refused to come with him, she claimed to be too fat to be seen in a bathing suit. It was her birthday and all they would do together was go to the theater to watch a magic show. She didn’t want to eat nor do anything water related. When his skin was wrinkled he got out and went to find Sarah.
The first half hour of the show had them bored. Jason felt warmth in his thigh and he looked sideways to find Sarah smirking. “Love, what do you say we get out of here?”
Jason grinned and tugged her out of her seat, making her trip and almost fall down. “Whoa there, slow down.” Sarah’s hand slapped his chest.
Before they went up to their cabin, Jason saw land through the ship’s window. He frowned. Were they supposed to be so close to it? Sarah tugged his hand and he forgot all about land and anything that wasn’t Sarah.
But as soon as they got into their room, the lights went out. What was happening? The darkness was stifling. Jason couldn’t see a thing. Suddenly his feet gave out from under him. Time slowed. Jason was suspended in the air. Then the floor hit him from below. Jason sucked a big gulp of air, trying to force it back into his lungs. For a moment he laid on the floor, trying to breathe. Sarah screamed, “Jason! Oh God, where are you? Are you okay?” He was about to say that everything was fine when the room went sideways and he went with it. Jason tried to get up but it was useless, all he could do was wait for the movement to stop and pray that everything would be okay.
When all was still, he wished that the ship had stayed swaying. There was something pinning him to the wall, his eyes watered and breathing was a chore. Why did it hurt everywhere? It felt like someone used him as a punching bag. What was pinning him? Using all the power he had left, Jason lifted his arms and felt the object. Softness met his hands. It was the bed.
“Sarah! Where...are you? Are you hurt?” why was his voice failing him?
It felt like hours of him calling out for her before he heard a response. “I’m fine, I think. I’m not sure where I am, I can’t see anything. Where are you? Are you okay?”
“Love, you’ll have to follow my voice. I’m afraid… I… I’m sorry but I can’t move.”
Jason didn’t have enough strength to move the bed. Every breath hurt more than the previous one, were his ribs cracked? Trying to ignore the pain, he continued to talk. He heard the bed creak and felt it move. Had Sarah stumbled into it? Hands covered his eyes and felt their way to his chest. A cry left her lips and a sob reached his ears.
“Sarah, don’t cry. I’m going to be fine. I just need you to stand against the wall and push with all your might. I only need a few inches so I can slide under.” Jason was worried that she wouldn’t have enough strength. The eating disorder she was battling with had been winning the last week, all because of the cruise. I’ll be wearing a bikini in public, I need to be thinner, you just don’t understand. But every time he hugged her, Jason was hurt by the sharpness of her bones. He didn’t want to be able to count her ribs just by looking at them.
Sarah’s first attempts were futile but he cheered her on as best as he could, considering his voice had started to fade. Eventually the pressure on his chest lessened and he slid down the wall and crawled under the bed. As soon as he was free, he searched for Sarah’s body and and they shared a damp, sticky hug. Relief washed over him and a few tears escaped his eyes.
They walked sideways, back to the wall, searching for the door. Thankfully it was just a couple of steps to their right. The rocking of the ship had left it unhinged. The hall was dark too. His shoes became drenched from stepping into it. The smell of saline was overwhelming. Every couple of steps he fell and had to grab the wall to get up. The floor’s angle was too steep. Where were the rest of the passengers? Jason could hear distant cries and what seemed like footsteps somewhere over them. Just how bad was it? Whatever happened must be very damn bad. They reached where there was supposed to be a turn but a fallen wall trapped them. Jason’s eyes ached and watered. They cried out for help. Nobody came. It was the only way out.
“What if we went out the balcony? We’ll be seen more easily.” Sarah’s hand was shaking.
She wasn’t the only one trembling. There was something wrong with him. He was terribly cold but sweat covered his body. The pressure in his chest had only gotten worse, not to mention his heart rivaled a racehorse. Jason didn’t want to worry Sarah so he led her back to their room and they crawled towards the balcony. It took them sliding down a couple of times but they finally reached the balcony and gripped the railing to keep from falling.
Jason looked everywhere but there was nowhere to go. The glass doors to the balcony had shattered, he could feel the blood trickling on his knees and hands, from the glass that went through his skin. Holding onto the railing hurt too much and the water could fill their cabin. Would they survive the jump? It seemed to be their only choice.
“Sarah, we need to jump down.”
“What? There’s no way I’m jumping down! We could get killed Jason!” the moon shined in her face, there was blood on it. Had she gotten hit when the cruise went sideways? They needed help, and fast.
“It’s our best shot. Please, we need to move before it’s too late.”
“I can’t...I just can’t. I’m sorry.” Jason could see that she was serious, she was not jumping. He had brought food with him since she hadn’t eaten and he had some snacks in his suitcase too.
“Fine, let’s crawl down and we’ll stay in the cabin until someone comes.” Jason didn’t think anyone would come though. There was gratitude in her gaze and she squeezed his hand, which hurt but he didn’t care.
As the time went on, his breath became shallow and the pain in his chest unbearable. The darkness was replaced by light and Jason felt Sarah’s worried eyes on him.
“What is it Sarah?”
“You… your skin… it’s blue,” horrified eyes looked into his soul and shattered his heart.
“Don’t worry, we’ll...be fine,” talking was almost an impossible task. “I love you Sarah, don’t ever forget it.”
“I love you too Jason,” the tears flowed freely down her face and towards the floor.
They remained huddled together, eating what they had and drinking from a bottled water they had found. Until they heard what sounded like an helicopter. Sarah started screaming “We’re here, we’re here!” Jason told her to go out to the balcony so that they would see her, he was too weak to move.
Finally help had arrived. His Sarah would be okay. If only he could stay; but his body failed him. Coughs wracked his body and blood came with it. The rescue team had taken too long. Jason let go and gave into the pain. “I’m sorry amore mio, I love you.” The darkness claimed him and he welcomed it with open arms. It was over.
Thank you so much! I'm really happy you liked it enough to recommend it :)
That was very good. I do wish the ending its self wasnt so abrupt. It seemed to hollywoodish. All but the last paragraph was excellent and very descriptive. I hope that doesn't come off to brash.
Don't worry, constructive criticism is something I really like. Makes me a better writer. I'm glad you liked the rest! Thank you for being honest :)
OMG!!! The story sucked me in and just refused to let go till the end. I'm in awe. The story is a beautiful tragedy. Almost everything is on point. Wow. Very creative. Following asap. Must check out your blog😊👏👏👏👏 @alemars16
Comments like this make my day. I'm so glad you liked it that much 😊 To be honest I wasn't to sure about it being creative enough, but thank you! I'll check out your blog :)
I'm not usually one to feel so much for the victims of an author who wants to write a dark piece, but man, poor Jason.
He seems like such a lovely fellow, and the way you portrayed their relationship through snippets and bits scattered along the story made me really invested in their struggle. I knew what was coming, but I still shed a tiny tear for Jason.
A great read, definitely.
I've got a bad habit of writing sad endings. I do try to make them "happy"at the same time. I don't know if that makes much sense to you, but I want readers to be "I'm really sad about it but I the same time it had to be that way". I'm happy that it moved you. Thank you so much for your words! 😊