Gazing at the Cosmic Bird

in #writing3 years ago


I woke up at around four-thirty this morning. I was next to my new girlfriend, Nancy. I was at her apartment but I had to return home early to feed and tend to my dogs, so I put on my pants, shirt and shoes and woke her to tell her that I was going to leave. She groaned and asked me to kiss her before I left then went back to sleep.

The drive home was long. Nancy lives across town so I had about twenty minutes to hit my super Jack Kart that I had forgotten in my center compartment the day before and listen to music as I drove home. I'm off today, I thought. I could go back to sleep or I could take the mushrooms I have at in my room. The decision came faster than I would have expected and I found myself stopping at a gas station to buy some orange juice for the tea that I would make and a coffee to keep me up while I made it.

I don't like half measures so I took a pretty significant dose. I made tea with a little over four grams of two different strains of mushrooms. One, I was told is "albino AA+" or something like that and the other didn't come with a name but the stems are thick and dense which I always find to be a good sign. Anyway, I broke the mushrooms into small pieces and simmered them, barely cover by the water, until most of the mushrooms' color had bled out of them and into the water. Next, I strained the tea so as to remove unappetizing shroom chunks and mixed it with some orange juice to cover the flavor of the purple gray fungus broth. I drank it while eating a "mystery weed" (the guy just said it was "gas") cookie and smoking a bowl of mimosa (I think it's a pure sativa).

Tea works shockingly fast and it only took about fifteen minutes before I was thrown petty deep into into the psychedelic realm, considering the dosage. Four grams makes a stout tea but I felt as though as I was bordering on a breakthrough experience that one would expect on a much higher dose.


I tried to watch some YouTube videos but I couldn't pay attention to them. My stomach was uneasy and my eyes were heavy so I closed them and entered into a strange inner reality. The closed eye visuals were very present with this trip but they were not typical of the ones I usually experience. I don't know if they were altered by my lack of sleep or the addition of coffee and edibles to the trip but they seemed to blur the boundaries between, imagination, hallucinations, and dreaming.

I quickly retired to my room and blocked out most of the light with my dark curtains and laid in bed, in silence, with eyes shut. At times I saw things that were very much psychedelic. There was this texture, or pattern, or place that I repeatedly saw throughout the trip. It was like a pink 3D plane with gold borders sectioning it off and bright jeweled spots that seemed like doorways to other such places. I could not travel deeper though. I had not taken enough, I suppose. Weirdly, I got what I can only describe as a birdlike vibe from this thing I saw. Like, I know this probably only makes any sense if you're tripping right now but it was as though this pink bejeweled multiverse that I was gazing at had a personality and it was that of some kind of cosmic bird and these almost mechanical patterns were its feathered body.

At other times, however, my visions were almost dream like. I at one point I had a sort of out of body experience. I saw a representation of myself. That is to say, I knew it was me but it was not me exactly. I saw myself lying there but from outside myself. I felt separate from myself as though my consciousness had come detached from my body.

I drifted away deeper. I could have opened my eyes but I didn't want to. Weed, and sleep, and mushrooms were coming upon me and it felt good to drift through that weird headspace that they were creating. I found myself in some kind of star filled environment where these glowing 2D entities floated around. Some of them looked like the ghosts from Pac Man others had arms and legs or hanging tentacles. They took notice of me and rapidly approached. They passed through me and disappeared.


I heard things too. I was in silence and I heard the mushrooms speak. At times, it was a whine or a buzz in my ears. Sometimes, it was chaotic and sometimes it was rhythmic. I heard beeping and things that sounded like alien transmissions. At one point, I heard something that sounded like dub step. It was weird.

I eventually fell asleep and awoke mostly normal. Now I am trying to unpack the experience and recall the details of the hours that I spent drifting through that psychedelic universe. I want to take a stronger dose of these mushrooms. I feel like this rabbit hole can go much deeper. I'll come back to tell that tale too when I do what I want to do.

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