Walnut Island
A famous musician once said “one good thing about music, when it hits you, you don’t feel pain.” Bob Marley was right. When the music hit me it was just about the only thing that could drown out the pain of my high school existence. Because for a sixteen year old kid at Bayside High School it seemed like I was getting hit from all sides and it fucking hurt.
Before I was force transferred to Bayside High in Virginia Beach, Virginia I was a blissful nobody. I skated through my first two years of high school mostly unnoticed. It wasn’t that I was unpopular or that I didn’t have any friends, I was invisible. It seemed like to everyone else I just didn’t exist. I never thought I’d miss those days. But after scoring to high on my academic aptitude test I was blessed with the opportunity to be a part of Bayside’s academic magnet school. It was a grand idea. Gather all the cities little geniuses or slightly above average students and put them all in one place to learn and grow with one another. As iron sharpens iron and what not as a way to prepare them for college. The only downside was that all of the normal academic students where there as well, intermixed with us so called geniuses and Bayside wasn’t in the best part of town. This cast an immediate chasm in the middle of the student body. Like the Sharks and the Jets.
We even had a different mascot than the normal students of Bayside. A fitting stingray with glasses and even a pocket protector. They tried to make him look strong and wise but he was a nerd just like the rest of us. I however being the awkward social introvert I was found my self stuck right in the middle. Too intelligent to be accepted as one of the normal day students and not geeky enough to be accepted by the kids in the magnet academy. At first I thought well at lest I’d be invisible again. That notion ended just as quick as it came.
As I walked through the halls on my first day I felt good. Wearing my new DC Skate shoes and matching t-shirt I thought “Damn I look good” It was right about that moment that I got blindsided from the back and slammed into a locker. As I rolled into a seated position I looked up at the kid who decided to turn me into a rag doll. Daquan Simmonds. I had been in class with Daquan since 3rd grade. “Fuck You Jensen” he said as his friends snickered while they headed down the hallway. Definitely not invisible I thought. As I whipped the blood from my nose and started to get up I realized most of the hall way was watching me. Maybe to see if I’d start a fight or just thankful they weren’t me. I got up, picked up my bag, and I headed to my first class.
As I sat in my first period Health Studies class my mind drifted to how I got to this spot in life. I wasn’t always this pathetic kid who got jumped in the hallways and who avoided social interactions like I would catch the plague or something. I used to have friends but life is funny like that. The minute you get comfortable it seems like everything comes crumbling down.
The summer before high school my life was pretty cushy. It wasn’t perfect by any means, I mean I was the child of divorce being raised by a single mother. But my brother and I by no means had to struggle and being the little brother of Jeremy McCloud was about as great as life could be. Jeremy was always popular. Since Elementary school everyone wanted to be around him. He was the kid that could climb the rope in gym all the way to the roof and repel back down. And as he got older he only seemed to get more popular. He became the states best short stop and the two time state champion in the 185 class for the high school wrestling team. But he wasn’t just a physical phenomenon, he was also incredibly intelligent. If Jeremy wasn’t already going to get a full ride to college on sports he could have very easily done it in academics. Needless to say everyone wanted to be friends with Jeremy McCloud and because of that, growing up, everyone wanted to be friends with me as well.
Jeremy was always four years ahead of me in school so just as he was graduating and moving forward I was just starting. And I always tried to follow in his footsteps. I played short stop on the school team, I competed in the 145 weight class on the wrestling team, and I even acceded in academics but I could never live up to his legend. At the time that was ok. I was complacent just to have friends and hangout out with my brother. But the summer before high school started everything changed.
Jeremy had been offered scholarships at all the major schools back home to play ball. Full rides to Virginia Tech, James Maddison University, University of Virginia, and even Old Dominion, but he turned them all down because he felt called to enlist in the Army.
With Jeremy leaving at the end of the summer to ship out to Afghanistan we spent every day together and after the incident all I had was free time.
Daquan and I were never close friends but we did hang out in the same circles. Daquan was on the wrestling team as well in the 185 class. Early that summer I was hanging out at Joseph Dragon’s house with the rest of the wrestling team. After 2 hours of everyone talking about who’s the best wrestler on the team and of course drinking I decided to make the statement that I could out wrestle anyone on the team.
Daquan took this as a personal offense and challenged me to a match in the front yard . Drunk Jensen thought this was an excellent idea. As we all gathered around the front yard the other guys started to circle around Daquan and I. After a while of circling one another Daquan decided to shoot in on me and my first drunk reaction was not the right one. The minute he shot in I threw a wild flying knee right into his forehead and this quickly became a brawl. The minute Daquan got off the ground I knew it was a fight for my life. He looked me dead in the eyes and whipped the blood from his mouth and charged straight at me. I tried to throw a punch but he wrapped his arms around me and suplexed me straight back onto my head. I knocked out immediately.
When I came to I was laying in my front yard with Joseph. My eye was swollen shut and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Where am I, I asked. Your in your front yard Joseph said. Look man, we tried to pull him off of you when we realized he wasn’t going to stop. He just kept kicking you even though you were unconscious. I got some of the guys to help me get you in my jeep and bring you home. We figured your brother would know what to do. Where is he I asked. He’s inside, he said for me to grab him when you came too. I’m gonna go get him Joseph said and he headed off for the house.
When my brother came out he was holding a bag of ice and a wet towel. Here little man, he said. Put this on your eye and use the towel to clean the blood off. I’m going to take you to the hospital. Joseph stood there like he was in shock. We tried to pull him off of him he said, kind of scared like my brother was going to blame him for what happened. It’s ok he said. You did the right thing by bringing him to me and sticking around. Head out Joe, I’ll take care of Jensen. Come on lil man he said. Let me help you up, we got to get you checked out.
Jeremy helped me walk over to his truck and get into the passenger side. On the way to the hospital he didn’t say a word. As we pulled into the parking lot of Sentra Health Care’s Emergency Room he finally spoke. Whatever they tell us we are not telling mom. I’ll figure that part out. Ok I agreed and he helped me inside. The doctor took a couple of x-rays of my ribs and determined that on top of my obvious concussion I also had 3 broken ribs and some serious bruising. The Doctor told us there wasn’t much that could be done other than strict bed rest for a few weeks and no more fighting. I had clearly got my ass kicked. Thanks Doc my brother said. I’ll make sure he doesn’t do anything else stupid this summer. Good the Doctor said and gave my brother a prescription for some low level pain killers.
As we headed home he said we have two options here Jensen. We can either tell mom the truth and she’ll want to get the police involved. Daquan will go to jail and you’ll most likely spend the summer in court. Or I can handle this and you’ll most likely spend the summer hanging out in the house friendless. No police I said. Ok, I’ll figure out what to tell mom he said and I’ll handle Daquan.
When we got home Jeremy helped me into bed and gave me the meds from the Doctor. Just try to sleep it off he said. It’ll all be over in the morning. As Jeremy left the room and shut the door I closed my eyes and soon fell asleep.
When I woke up it was 7:37 in the morning. I took me about 15 minutes but I was able to roll out of bed and get on my feet. I walked to the bathroom down the hall past my Mothers room. She seemed to still be asleep. After I took a long bathroom break I washed my hands and headed to the kitchen to get something to drink. The door from the kitchen to the garage was wide open and I could hear Jeremy’s radio playing popular country music. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and headed out to the garage.
Hey, morning I said. How you feeling he asked. I’m ok, my ribs still hurt and I’ve got a wicked headache but it’s not to bad. Good he said. Look Jensen we need to talk. Sure I said, what’s up. I handled the situation with Daquan. Oh god, what did you do? I gave him two options. Either I could tell the police and he would go to jail or he could try to do to me what he did to you. So you kicked his ass I said with confidence. Yeah, my brother smirked and then I duct taped him to a tree in front of the high school in his boxers with a sign around his neck that said “Punk Bitch” and left him there. I chocked on my water nearly dying! As I turned red I said are you serious! He laughed, no one messes with the McClouds he said. I guess not I responded.
Jeremy whipped the grease off his hands from his truck engine and walked over to me. He lend up against the washer machine next to me. Look Jensen, I leave in two months. I’m not always going to be here to protect you. You’ve got to learn to make better choices and to stick up for yourself. Yeah, I know I said. There’s one more thing. He said. I wanted to talk to you about the wrestling team. What about it I asked. I know you only joined because you wanted to be like me. I know you only ever tried out for the baseball team because you wanted to walk in my footsteps. And I also know you don’t really enjoy playing either one. Maybe not I said but what else am I supposed to do with my free time I laughed. No Jensen, seriously. This injury might be the perfect time for you to find the answer to that question.
You know I hear you singing in your room when you don’t think anyone’s home or in the shower when you’re getting ready in the morning. You’re really good he said. Have you ever thought of perusing music? I don’t know, I mean I do love to sing but we don’t really have the money for lessons or for a guitar or something. We might not he said but I do. I got a pretty decent sign on bonus when I enlisted and I want you to take this. Jeremy handed me an envelope. It’s $600 he said. I want you to use it to pursue music. Buy a guitar, a keyboard, a flute I don’t care he said just start pursuing what you’re passionate about. Seriously? I asked. I’m very serious he said. You can’t spend your life chasing other people’s dreams. You need to do what you love. Ok, I will. Thanks Bro I said and I gave him a hug. He patted me on the shoulder so he wouldn’t hurt my ribs.
So, I said, want to give me a ride down to the music shop so I can buy a guitar. He laughed sure but only if you make me one more promise. What’s that I said? One day when you’ve made it and your standing on a stage performing I want you to play a song for me. Make sure everyone knows I was the one that pushed you to be a famous musician. I laughed, sure. If I ever become famous you’re the only person I’ll give credit too. We both laughed and headed to the music shop.
I picked out a Taylor 100 series. It had the option to be both acoustic and plug into an amp, with a beautiful rosewood finish. I had no idea how to play it but I knew from the moment they handed me the receipt I was going to spend the entire summer learning how to play. I started as soon as we got home. I pulled up a few YouTube channels and started watching other musicians explain chord structure and note progressions.
Before I realized it days and weeks had gone by. My brother would spend the weekends that summer crashing on couches with friends and I’d stay up every night learning new chords or songs I could sing along with. When he would come home I’d play him new songs I had learned over the weekend. He’d always ask me to play one song in particular though. Whenever he would come home from the weekend he’d ask me to play “I can’t help falling in love” by Elvis Presley. He would kick back on the top bunk of my bed and after I’d played him two or three new songs I had learned that weekend he’d say” hey Jensen, play that one Elvis song. You know the one” and I would. My brother loved Elvis. He used to say that Elvis was one of the only true American heroes. He had everything, fame, fortune, respect, and he still threw it aside to do his civic duty and enlist. Looking back on it I think that’s why he gave up every scholarship opportunity he had to enlist in the Army. It wasn’t because he thought it would bring him fame, fortune, or a solid career path. It was because he honestly believed in the ideal of sacrificing everything for his country. For the Freedom that all American citizens take for granted every day.
And Jeremy did just that. Two months into his first tour in Afghanistan Jeremy’s unit was on a standard humanitarian mission to provided food, water, and supplies to locals when their unit came under attack. The Army didn’t give us much in specifics but they said a grenade was thrown into the crowd of army soldiers and civilians and Jeremy jumped onto the grenade sacrificing himself so that the families in the crowd could live. Losing my brother was the hardest punch I had ever taken.
When the Army officials came to our door and told my mother and I, I was in shock. I couldn’t believe he was gone. I walked to the garage, I sat in his truck, and I turned on the Elvis greatest hits CD he had. When “I can’t help falling in love” came on I couldn’t take it anymore. I cried uncontrollably. I sat in his truck screaming and sobbing until I couldn’t get out another sound, pounding my fist into the steering wheel. When I could no longer shed another tear I laid down across the front seat of the truck I and I slept there that night. It smelled like him and I knew that was as close as I’d ever get to him again.