In the summer of 2014, I found myself in a bad way. I was battling depression and spent my days in a constant state of reflection as I struggled to moved forward in my post-military life.
Then the strange things started happening...
Weird occurrences, synchronicity that are highly unlikely to be explained away as chance encounters started popping up.
This story is one of my encounter that occurred in the summer of 2014, near Mount Rainier Washington. Me and my entire family were present and all experienced something while out in those woods, and I still question what happened to this day.
I believe, that we are not alone in the universe, and things are never as they seem....
Day 1
It was summer time in the green state of Washington and an overcast sky insulated the summer heat. I found myself in the basement of my home, in my “man cave,” where I had already been finding myself for the past three months.
I had gotten notice that my unemployment benefits would end at the end of the month. After leaving a lengthy career in the United States military, I found my hope dwindling as job applications and interviews, one after the other, netted no results for me except frustration and finally, serious depression. It wasn’t due to my lack of trying. I applied night and day, interviewed often, yet still was not able to make it through an interview without war-related questions being asked; at least that was my perception. They’d ask and I’d tell them what they wanted to know. As soon as I would, I could see their demeanor change. My military experience had centered around the training and execution of war on the enemy. That was my military job, and I was beginning to realize that I just might intimidate the regular civilian conducting interviews.
I am a war veteran and served just shy of 15 years. The climb in the ranks had been quick, as it was during the height of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. I had been deployed to Afghanistan as a Platoon Sergeant. I did not have a glamorous job while in the military, but I did my share of “bringing it” to the enemy during a tour to Afghanistan in Kunar Province during 2011-2012. When I returned home, the ongoing process and adjustment to civilian life was just not happening, and I hated myself for not being able to make the transition back with more expedience and clarity. I had been diagnosed with PTSD while in the service, following my deployment to Afghanistan. I already lost my military medical insurance a few months prior, so I was not in any sort of treatment; the depression was hitting me kind of hard.
And so, in the days leading up to this event, the bouts of memories had begun to set in again, and they were coming at me in a strong way. Like I said, “what is seen cannot be unseen.” I’d try to fight them off, yet they’d come back with even more intensity and clarity. As these memories played like a re-run movie reel in my head; the decisions I had made that affected the lives of others, also came back to me. I kept calling them “stupid decisions,” and they were taking me down one at a time. I really hated myself at this point.
So, this is where I found myself at the time, reflecting and battling a horrid depression. On this particular day, I heard the mail truck pass by my house from the basement. Upon retrieving the mail, I noticed that a letter from my life insurance which carried over from the military, was amongst the many bills that had begun to pile up. The letter stated that unless I brought my premiums current, my coverage would be terminated at the end of the month. “Great!” I thought. I had no money, no job, no prospects, and my life insurance was getting cut. How much more could I let my family down? That was when the thoughts came flooding in as to a way out. The pressure was hitting me. I started reflecting on the man I once was, and who I had become. I reflected on my family, and thought to myself that I was useless to them. My wife, my beautiful wife, was now a full-time student, thanks to the military GI bill that I was able to transfer to her, since I had already gotten my Master’s degree while still actively serving. Along with the monthly stipend and the unemployment benefits, there was barely enough money to cover the bills, without taking into consideration any extras or emergencies. The credit cards were being maxed out, and with no prospect of finding a job at all, I was losing hope. Questions and phrases like, “Am I really worthless?” began flooding through my mind, with intense clarity.
The Moment
I was very aware and well-informed of the number of veterans committing suicide each day, 22 in fact across the country. I now found myself contemplating getting it over with. On that day, I was home alone in my man cave, my own space, and I began to premeditate how I would carry this out. I started thinking back on my military service, and started pulling from it the very experience that would overlay what I was now planning to do. I was familiar with how the military treated wives of veterans in this situation, as I was one of the very officers who had assisted others, during one of these instances. I was a Casualty Assistance Officer, and had helped a young widow who had lost her husband due to non-military action. He had died by having a standoff with the El Paso, Texas police where he immediately shot himself in the chest, dying on the scene. I was not given the full story; however, I remember giving her a check for $100,000 the day after he had killed himself. It was that quick. A few weeks later, I drove her to a bank to deposit yet another $400,000 from his life insurance pay out. I even remember thinking at that time, “we soldiers are worth more dead than alive,” and it stuck with me.
My life insurance was due to expire at the end of the month, and knowing that it would pay out even in the event of suicide, the thought of doing it began to look better and better. I remember going upstairs to my gun safe, where I pulled out my AR-15 and a loaded magazine. I kept my guns near where I slept, and always kept a loaded magazine at the ready. I know it sounds a little institutionalized, but it was where I was at in the moment. So, I took the rifle down to my man cave, and I began to stare into the dark open space. There are windows that allow some light into the area from outside, and on that day the man-cave was gloomy, a reflection of the dreary weather outside. I just stood there and stared out of a window at the clouds in the sky. I began the process of how to carry out his task once again in my mind, this time with REAL emphasis as I pointed the barrel of the gun at my head. My head began to fill with the thoughts like,
“You can do this for your family!”
“What good am I to them now?”
I must make you aware that as an atheist during this time, I saw nothing morally wrong with what I was planning to do. I feared no repercussions from any outside force due to my strong atheistic beliefs. In my mind, I had convinced myself that committing suicide would help my family more than sticking around and being unable to provide for them.
The Awakening
I sat there motionless in the dark basement, full of self-pity, with the rifle’s barrel still pointed at my head and then something happened. I asked once, “Why me?”
And then a second time in a louder voice,
“WHY ME!”
And then a THIRD time,
“GOD, WHY ME?”
Suddeny, I felt a lightning bolt of energy hit my entire body. My finger let go of the trigger on the rifle, and my life began to flash before my eyes, as though I was viewing a movie just behind my eyelids. I couldn’t see anything besides this movie playing in my head, and at the same time I began to feel a kind of warmth in my body. It started in my mid-section and extended up my spine to my head; a tingling sensation pulsated across my body. The movie started in my childhood and showed me each time I had ever perceived myself as being a victim. I got to see myself through the eyes of my adversaries, as these visions continued to communicate with me. They were showing me that in every action where I had perceived myself to be a victim, I had seen things incorrectly. It was showing me that perceiving oneself to be a victim was only due to one’s own subjective, intimate perception. Situation after situation, I could see that each the time that I had thought of myself as being wronged, it had just been a misconceived perception of the older version of myself. The big picture began to dawn on me. Perception is a casualty to actions, and every action witnessed has a perceived influence on the observer. It all started to make sense. All of it. It was not that I was a bad human being or that I had done something wrong; all of it was designed to be precisely the very way in which it had all played out. WE ARE ALL CONNECTED!
A smile filled my face. I came out of my depression into an understanding of what had just transpired. I was confused yet accepting. I stood staring out one of the window in my basement at the overcast sky, which was now filled with puffy white clouds. As my vision focused better and narrowed, I could see a light in the distance, a brilliant white light that just hovered directly below the clouds. I had been staring at the light for the entire time, yet had not noticed it before. Then without much fanfare, the light drifted back into the clouds, and that was the start of what would be the craziest set of days I have ever been through in my life. I don’t have the answers to what happened to me, yet my hope is that somebody out there who reads this book will understand and be able to make sense of it all, or at least part of it. Any of it would be nice. Had God intervened and
if so, then WHY?
What was God?
What was the light I had witnessed through the window in that very moment of deep and sincere sorrow and pain, yet with such specific clarity?
These were the questions I would attempt to answer in the following days, as I continued to gain a new filter in this life. In other words, this was indeed a whole new perspective and outlook on life that I had never taken up until this point. Remember, I was still an atheist during this time. The filter I speak of, is a way of looking at things, a perception; one that is gained by experience. Everybody has a unique set of filters that govern how they look at life and reality. One could go so far as to say that; your filter is like the coding in a computer, which allows it to display a webpage. The webpage in this instance, would be the perception that your unique filter allows you to gaze upon.
Throughout the rest of that day, I felt connected to something. The tingling sensations did not stop after the experience, they continued and helped keep me in this state of mind, intensifying the notion that something was, indeed happening: an ongoing process was at play. Whatever it was, it was still there in my awareness. My head would tingle whenever I would have a new thought that led into a new concept for me. The feeling was one that, as a gamer, I would describe as “leveling up” or gaining experience. At least, that’s all I was willing to call it in this moment. I know that probably does not make sense, yet that’s exactly how I felt. It felt like I was connected to the knowledge bank of all humanity during this period. I could pull from it like pulling out a DVD player and picking a favorite DVD to watch. I found myself asking questions out loud, and instantly I would close my eyes and see an answer to those questions represented by shapes, colors, and sometimes full movies playing out in my mind. It was like a set of Lego Blocks coming together. During this time, which I am now calling an “Awakening,” my body and mind were alive with all the things I felt. The next couple of days would show me more, as this was only the beginning of what would continue to be one of the most profoundly disturbing, yet wonderful experiences of my life. By now, the entire day had gotten away from me, and I went to bed, though I really don’t think I slept long.
Day 2
I awoke to a sensational urge to write. I began the day early, my need for sleep having dissipated. I felt refreshed after waking up and spent time with my wife, telling her how much I loved her. I spent time with my children and grand-children. At one point, I looked through a window, and I could see that a family of deer was directly outside of my house. As I opened the door and went outside, I could feel them. This is where it begins to sound crazy; I felt that I could communicate with them, and even went as far as to walk up to one of the males. In this moment and to my surprise, it did not get aggressive. I stood within five feet of the larger males out of the herd, and it just stared back at me. I showed no intentions; the proud male deer seemed to connect to the same understanding. You see, just as we have filters for ourselves and our intimate surroundings, animals have much the same filters. Their experience in the moment dictates how they react to other animals. I could feel that it was not scared. It was proud and at the same time, conveyed a clear intention that it wanted me to acknowledge that pride by keeping my distance. I obliged, kind of gave a nod, and went back into the house straight down to the man cave, where I began writing with great and specific intensity and fervor. A flood of information came pouring from my mind as I began asking questions that were answered in quick succession. It felt as though I was on auto-pilot the entire time.
I could not pull myself away from my laptop for even a few minutes without finding myself back there writing again. All sorts of innovative ideas began to emerge. I wrote from societal problems to the existence of God, as I navigated the narrative of this profound communication. There was an invisible connection during these days that I cannot fully comprehend. I have plenty of guesses as to what it could have been. However, without a doubt, and to this very day, I have never been able to identify it. I’d like to think of this connection as something similar to the connection we experience whenever we use Wi-Fi. We cannot see the connection, nonetheless, we can still tell if our electronic device is connected. At the time, I thought that my own mind was coming up with these great ideas, however, what transpired and continued to happen the in following days told me differently.
The Numbers
A remarkable happening occurred following this initial experience. I began seeing consecutive numbers such as “1111” or “333” all over the place, like the clock, or the amount of change I had been handed after making a purchase at a local store; this phenomenon still plagues me to this day. I’ve tried to share this phenomenon with some, yet most dismiss it and say that numbers have no meaning. As to these individuals, I understand that the concept of seeing things outside of the norm, is contrary to what their filter allows them to understand. Only those who are afflicted with this condition know what I mean when I say, that there is a type of undeniable intelligence to the random occurrences of the numbers manifesting themselves. It is not randomness that brings them into existence, it is quite the opposite. Some say the numbers are angelic and come from the heavens, and that they mark those meant to be saved. I’m still not clear as to the truth on this; however, I’m beginning to believe that there may be some validity to this claim. That explanation is not relevant to the story at hand, so I will save it for future writing. Needless to say, my individual filter has allowed me to see the outside world differently than anyone else. I understand, that in reality, our filters allow us to see the world through our own set of eyes, utilizing our own experience, which in turn translates our interpretation into the subjective reality we all live within.
One could argue that the objective reality is where we reside, yet, I would point out that as understanding and knowledge are increased, our perceived objective reality is also prone to changing. This happens more often than realized. When new discoveries are made, or when we attain an understanding of a concept at a new level, our “world view” changes. It’s inevitable. As we increase in understanding, the objective reality is better defined and honed to our experiential understanding. Truly, until you step back and get out of your own way, your own ego and your own filter, will make it impossible to see objective reality as your own perspective, since perceived reality gets in the way. Only a small percentage of people who live on this planet have a true grasp of objective reality and the entire picture as to how it all works. It is due to the way our opinions and/or feelings (rather than facts and evidence) are tossed around. These somewhat knee-jerk responses consistently get in the way of being able to see true objective reality. In other words, our subjective nature gets in the way of us seeing it. You think you know something, right? Well, it was once thought that the earth was flat! Then science came along and proved it was a sphere. Both scenarios were taken as the objective reality in their day, yet only one is known to be the true objective reality of today. Will it be the objective reality of tomorrow? Only time will tell; because as we increase in our knowledge base, our viewpoint on what is objective versus what is subjective, also increases. By the way, objective reality is open to interpretation by the observer, yes? Can’t the observer be wrong in their interpretation, since what is being interpreted is also subjective? These are the types of questions I asked myself on the second day of my experience and frantically, like a scribe, I wrote down every tidbit. Finally, I went to bed around one o’clock in the morning. At this point my body didn’t require very much sleep; I got in a few hours. I knew that as soon as I woke up, I would be fresh and ready to tackle a new pursuit. I passionately believed that something big was about to happen, but I didn’t know what. I was at peace and the excitement was getting to me.
Day 3
I woke up earlier than usual, having only slept for a few hours the night before. I got up, had some coffee and around 9:00 AM, I went into my bedroom to wake up my wife. Just before I woke her up, I’d been thinking about a camping trip to just get out into nature, and away from all the details of life. I got the urge to camp with my family and this is where the previous days leading up to this day, began to merge. As soon as I wakened her, she told me about a dream she had just before I woke her up. She said,
“I had a dream that we went camping and there was a forest, and a river right beside our campsite.”
Shocked, yet not surprised at all, I internalize what just happened. I didn’t say anything to her, yet wondered how my had mind connected with her mind on the same thought level that I was already having. How did the same thoughts I was having enter into her thoughts through dream state exactly as I had been thinking about them upon waking her? Again, I took this as a sign.
The Signs
One after another, the signs were coming in different shapes and forms. Everything from the combination of numbers, such as the “1111” discussed earlier, to the thoughts in my mind that had appeared simultaneously alongside certain things came that into my vision throughout the day. Really, I only understood them for what they were, as at that point, I had definately become an eager observer of what was happening around me. The synchronicities filled my collective consciousness at the time. My wife talking about camping immediately after I had a thought about camping was the beginning of this merge. She was an intrinsic part of me being shown this path, even while it was being laid out in front of me. It was MY path, yet now she was with me as part of it, and she was definitely along for the ride, quite consciously, I might add. I have come to believe that all of us are on a path in this life. It is the road that presents itself at any given time, and no matter how you perceive that road in front of you; the path is the one with the least resistance. Instinctively, I said,
“Let’s go camping!”
That’s all it took to seal the deal. We were off for the day along with my son and my oldest grandson. Understand this; I did not camp during my off-time while I served in the military. I'd already had my share of “camping” during my time in the service, and did not look at camping as some sort of thing to do recreationally during my off-time. We had no camping gear, so our first stop was at the local Walmart to pick up the necessary supplies. Really, we had no plan. We had no way of knowing even where to go camping, just a slight knowledge that Mount Rainier National Forest had a couple of campgrounds. So, we loaded up our vehicle with all the brand-new equipment, and headed in that direction.
The Path
I had an inner feeling, a premonition of sorts, that I was going camping specifically to encounter something; yet I had no idea what that something would be. I knew though, that I would be alert to it whenever it happened (whatever it was). I had the overwhelming sensation that whatever I was looking for would be found on that camping trip. I reserved myself around my son and wife, not letting on that anything out of the ordinary was happening with me. I internalized these feelings and thoughts; I didn’t want them to think I had lost my mind fully and really this time around. Quite frankly, I wasn’t questioning my mind; I just didn’t know what to expect going forward. It was this interaction; this connection; this “knowing”, and the way it was happening that I questioned. I thought to myself,
“How is my wife involved in my mind?! I mean, we love each other, but we have never experienced anything like this before between us.”
And even as I sat questioning, it was still coming at us in each moment. There we were, experiencing something as one unit; it even involved my son! I remember thinking,
“How cool is that? I’m at least, so thankful for that!”
The trip started out with us traveling down the highway into the Mount Rainier National Park. We stopped off at the last sign of civilization in Ashford, Washington before entering the park. As we sat eating gas station sandwiches, my heightened awareness made me very alert to my surroundings. I noticed a vehicle that had been behind us the entire time, which was now parked beside us. I asked myself whether they were on the same journey and then dismissed it. We finished our sandwiches and I noticed a Park Ranger was there. I asked him where the campgrounds were located, and he directed me to drive up the road about two to three miles where the first set of campsites would be off to the left. I thanked him and we were back on our way heading into the park.
The Big Campsite
After travelling further down Paradise Road E, we arrived around noon and were excited to pick out our campsite. I was confident we had everything we needed to make a good camping trip, and that finally we could begin this adventure. There was no river directly next to the campsites, yet it was within walking distance. The Nisqually River was across the main road from the campsites. The head shed was just inside the entrance where we stopped. There was a kiosk where you could purchase a campsite. I paid for a site and received a receipt from the machine. I read the instructions which indicated that in order to reserve a site, you had to drive around until you found one that was open, and then clip your receipt to the sign at the front of the campsite. Every occupied site had a receipt in plain view at its entrance.
“Now our adventure is really beginning,” I thought to myself.
As we headed even deeper into the forest, the campsites were sectioned off alphabetically, so starting with the letter “A” section of the site; we began our way around through the letters. We had been circling around for almost an hour and still were unable to find a single open campsite. All of them had a “reserved” receipt clipped to the sign at the entrance. We finally found an open site. I slow down to the post standing with no reserved ticket on it, and asked my wife,
“Does this look good?”
She looked out of the passenger window to confirm that it was free of the receipt and said,
“Yes, this will work.”
We pulled our vehicle into the space and then something happened. A thought came over my mind that told me to look at the sign again. So, I stopped what I was doing and said,
“Let me check the sign again.”
There was no one around, and most of the sites that we had driven by for the past hour had only the receipt attached to their signs. None of the sites had any obvious activity and it was easy to see that no one had been there. No cars, no people, just receipts indicating that the site was and had been “reserved.” I walked over to the sign[post at the edge of the campsite and there, much to my suprise, I found a receipt attached to it, AND it wasn’t ours! I looked at my wife and asked,
“Are you sure there was no receipt on this sign out here?”
She answered, “Yes. Why? Is there one there now?”Perplexed to say the least, we both shook our heads collectively. Almost in silence, we gathered up what little bit we had taken out of the car, got back into the car, and were just about to cut our losses at this point, by simply heading back home. We were a bit frustrated, yet it had been a beautiful ride and we had plenty of time to get back before it got totally dark. With a strange feeling about me, I began driving out to the front of the park. We had given up our hope of camping by now and just agreed to take the fee as a loss instead of trying to get a refund, let alone, find another campground within the park. Just as I am about to exit the park, I kind of sighed while having a feeling of empowerment at the same time, and said to my wife,
“Well, we tried.”
Just as she is agreeing, and our hopes of camping are in the final stages of being crushed, I see a Park Ranger off to the side of the road walking alone. I stopped and rolled down my window to address him.
“Sir, do you know if any of the campsites are open currently or, where we might find one?”
He kind of chuckled and said that all the sites had been fully booked and that I wouldn’t find anything else in the park for the weekend. I then asked him,
“Okay, so can you tell me where to go to get a refund for the site I just purchased?”
He told me to go to the entrance of the park, and go up to the head shed where I could get a full refund. I take his advice and direction, and on the way out of the campsite, I make a stop at the head shed. I tell my wife that I’ll be right back and proceed
to walk up to the shed. There is another Park Ranger inside and I begin the explanation of why I want a refund.
“Sir, I just paid for a campsite and found out from another Ranger that the campground is fully booked. May I get a refund?”
He starts the process of giving me a refund and being my friendly self, I started talking to him. I told him that we had our hearts set on camping and it had been a little disappointing that all the sites had already been booked. He apologized for the inconvenience, and we ended the conversation just as the business at hand was concluded. But as I started to walk away, he said,
“Wait, there are a few free campsites that are primitive in nature, they come without any kind of services.”
Intrigued, I turned back around and he shows me a map where the campsites are located. Without asking for exact directions, and since I have a good understanding of how maps work, I see the quickest route from where I am, to where I needed to go in order to get to the campsite. It was located outside of the park along the Nisqually River in a heavily wooded area. He gave me the map and said,
“Good luck.”
I headed back to the car with excitement! Finally, we were going to have our camping trip, and hopefully I was going to get the answers I was seeking.
The Campsite From The Dream Emerged
We started our journey down through the entrance of the park and met up with another highway that followed the path of the Nisqually River. As we made the turn, I see that the same vehicle from earlier at the gas station is following us once again. I turn to my wife and say,
“That vehicle from earlier that I pointed out at the gas station is following us again.”
She looks through her rearview mirror and nods to agree.
“That is weird,” I said quietly.
At this point in the trip and after what has been transpiring, I don’t know if the people had a route similar to ours or if it was simply sheer coincidence. I sure did have a newfound understanding that there really are no coincidences, just happenings. I take note and proceed. After a short drive, we find the dirt road leading to the site. We turn off and the vehicle behind us continued going down the road. I concluded at that time that perhaps it was a coincidence after all. We were driving a Ford Mustang with the clearance so low to the ground, that we were feeling every bump and depression. Finally, we make it through without getting stuck. We come upon the campsite along the Nisqually River; it is isolated, deserted, and perfectly located. There is a fire pit and what looks to be a memorial on one of the trees, it has the names of two people. I don’t recognize the names, so I disregard it and begin the process of starting a fire and erecting the tent. I have my son with me so I put him to work collecting kindling and such for the fire. My wife has been looking over the site and says to me,
“This is exactly what my dream looked like.”
I acknowledged what she said and continued working as now it was getting pretty late in the day. We would have to talk later since both of us were busy right at that moment. After everything was up and ready for the night, we used the remainder of our daylight hours attempting to fish in the river, and spend quality time with our son and grandson.
Here is a picture of what the campsite looked like...
The UFO
It was summer and the sun lingered late in the day. Around 9:00 PM, the sun began to set and nightfall fell over our camp. As dusk came upon us, the colors of the forest combined with the majestic view of Mount Rainier, whose peaks we could see from our site, were breath-taking and incredible to behold. We put the kids down first and they fell asleep quickly. At around 9:30 PM, my wife and I finally tried to fall asleep. The tent had a sky view, and the panoramic span of the stars was as clear as could be. We were far away from any light pollution that we endured in the city. Everything was illuminated and our eyes became fixated on the many points of light in the sky. The planes were easy to spot as they moved by; the stars, glistening. The planes had alternating lights on both wing tips that made them distinguishable from the stars, and coupled with their straight-line movement, they were easy to pick out. As we relax and wind down from, quite frankly, one of the most exhausting days since I had returned home from the military, something strange occurred. Was this it?! As both of us are looking to the night sky, a brilliant spherical object came into view. It was white and bright and much closer than the planes we had previously been seeing in the sky. The orb was brighter than the moon, yet easy on the eyes. It flew in a zig-zag pattern in one direction, rather than taking a straight path of flight. It reminded me of a fish attempting to swim upstream, switching back and forth as the currents moved about. We both viewed it for about ten seconds. I turn to my wife as she is turning to me and ask,
“What is that!?”
She says, “I don’t know.”
Then, quite dismissively, she turns over as it leaves our view and says,
“I’m going to sleep now.”
I know my wife. She has and holds strict religious beliefs and does not believe in the paranormal. After over 15 years of marriage, our intimate views have held steadfast and meshed; mine being atheist and hers being Catholic. She did not attend church and I did not preach to her how I thought religions were based on fairy tales. She will tell you she saw something that night, however, she will not even begin to speculate what that something is or was. It scared her: I could see that, I read it clearly from her face and body language, so she didn’t need to say anything else. I got up and told her I wanted to investigate further. I hurriedly put my shoes on, but by the time I got outside, the object was gone.
The Two Voices
Well, now I was up. I attempted to keep the fire going for another half hour or so; it kept going out. I even poured lighter fluid on the logs that had been burning earlier, but it didn’t start the new wood ablaze. I gave up. I went back inside the tent, removed my shoes, slid into my sleeping bag with my wife, and attempted to fall asleep. Slowly, I drifted off. I must have slept deeply for those few minutes or so, but I am awakened to my wife shaking my arm. She says startled, yet very quietly,
“Wake up; there are people behind the tent!”
Now remember, we are in an extremely excluded campsite in the middle of nowhere and there was nobody there when we drove in, nor was there any sign of anyone having been there for a while. By now, I’m half awake. I quickly comply with my wife’s demands to get up and go look. It’s pitch dark outside and silent. There were no voices or any sign of anyone or anything nearby. There were no flashlights shining from the woods that I could see. The forest was dense and thick with brush. There was no way that anyone could make it around without some kind of light source. I look to her and ask,
“Are you sure you heard people?”
Then my son chimes in because he was awakened to the same noises and says,
“Dad! I heard them too!”
“What did they sound like?” I ask.
My wife says,
“It sounded like two people with southern accents talking.”
The Dream
By this time, everyone is up and spooked. My wife is now insistent that we go to the car and attempt to scare off whoever is out there by starting the car, and turning on the headlights. We head out to the car. She also insists we stay and sleep in the car the rest of the night with the doors securely locked. It’s summertime and near the base of Mount Rainer, the nights are still chilly. I turn on the heater and put the headlights on high beams. Nothing can be seen in the bright lights and I turn them off. I tell my son and wife to go to sleep, that I will keep watching for anything out of the ordinary. I remember staring at the digital clock on the dash as it read 11 PM. I finally nod off after I am certain they are both asleep.
During this time in my life, it’s important to note that I did not dream. To this day, I don’t remember my dreams. It’s like the process of everything going dark and then seemingly, and in an instant, waking up. That is what sleep is like for me. I had never had a vivid dream in my life up until this point.
As I sleep, suddenly I’m awakened with the most lifelike dream I have ever had. Everything is indistinguishable from reality, and I’m looking through my own eyes. I am on all fours in a crouching position. I begin to look up at my surroundings and I see that there is a light above me, because everything below me is illuminated. As I look up further, I see a figure in front of me. It is something that resembles a human, yet I can tell that this is not humanlike; nothing like anything I’ve ever seen, that is. The naked skin of whatever is in front of me is exposed and seems to be devoid of clothing; I see that it has two feet. I see that it is hairless, and that it is of a bluish color. I attempt to move my head upward to see what is in front of me, and my eyes gaze upon the anatomy. I see that it has elongated shins, and the human-like creature is much taller than me. I am 6 foot 2 inches tall, and can sense that the creature must be twice as tall as me. As I continue looking upwards toward the shins, I feel restrained, I am unable to see the knees of the creature despite looking upward. Whatever is in front of me seems benevolent, it was like I had a second sense about me, and I could feel that the being meant no harm. That is how the communication started. I ask,
“What are you?”
Instantaneously, my mind is filled with colorful symbols and shapes. I hear it say the words,
“King” or “God.”
It’s fragmented and not precise at this time, because really, this first interaction was communicated to me in a way that was not at all clear at this point. I realized that when it gave the answer to my question, I answered for it in this first iteration of questions. I mouthed the words “King” and then “God” as the shapes and symbols permeated my mind. I realized that it was communicating directly into my mind. It was somehow injecting thoughts into my head, and the way in which my mind translated the exchange became the dialogue. I close my mouth for the rest of the exchange and only ask questions to solicit a response. I ask a second question,
“Why have you brought me here?”
Vision 1
No sooner than I had asked the second question, a flood of shapes and symbols fills my mind’s eye and my eyes close within the dream. My mind attempts to read all the information that is being transmitted into my brain, but it’s too much. I can only manage to see and retain glimpses of the information, as if a movie was playing out before me. The creature has given me a vision. I begin to see a great war being fought that encompasses the entire globe. I zoom in within my mind and can see part of the vision that is slowed down. I see a building that appears to have been bombed out. The structure’s outline shows that it had once been a home; now the roof was missing and I could see inside to the contents of the building. There in the kitchen area is a scene, as if frozen in place, yet still animated and moving. It is a woman clutching onto two children in the corner. They are trembling and crying out. My vision pans out and I can see the buildings that surround it. Everything in the immediate vicinity is leveled out, as if it had been bombed. Piles of debris and smoke fill the landscape. As I pan out even further, I can see tanks and an army marching towards the building with the woman and two children. The soldiers within the vision are wearing what looks to be gas masks. My vision pans out again, even further this time. This time I see the entire globe of the Earth. I look at the scene and attempt to ingest what I am being shown. The entire globe looks to be set ablaze. I see explosions being set off all over the place and fire lights up the darkness all around.
I open my eyes and I am back in front of the being. I tremble and tears are pouring out of my eyes. I had just been shown what I had perceived to be the end of the world, and I could feel all of the death and destruction. It was rippling through my body. I actually shout out,
“Why have you shown me this?”
It pushes me into another instance where shapes and symbols begin to fill my mind. My eyes close briefly and a movie begins to play out within my thoughts. Here I am shown the same fiery sight I was shown in the vision, only this time, I see white lights leaving the Earth. Thousands of these lights are shown and they all fly off the Earth and meet up into a single formation. At the time of this vision, I thought the being was showing me that there was life after death. Since the dream, I have come to other conclusions as seen through my unique filter. I will go into detail about these beliefs towards the end of this story.
Vision 2
As I begin to open my eyes, my tears subside. I am once again back in front of the being within the base dream. I ask again,
“Why have you brought me here?”
Once again, I am propelled into my mind and my eyes close. The shapes and symbols are there and a movie within my dream begins to play out. I am looking from afar and I see a black car in a desolate city full of demolished buildings. All the buildings are a tan color and the road is filled with a thick layering of fine dirt. It is a sunny day in the vision, and I see myself get out of the black car. Two other men follow me out of the car and they are dressed in black suits, wearing sunglasses. My vantage point changes now and now I am looking through my own eyes within the dream. I look down to see what I am wearing and notice that I am wearing a white t-shirt, shorts, and a set of sandals. The white t-shirt is torn in spots and appears dirty. I see that I am carrying something in my left hand. It appears to be a tree branch. I later determined that the branch I was carrying was from an olive tree. I look back to the other two men that were with me and tell them to stay put. I then proceed to walk down the road that is covered in dirt. I walk a few hundred meters down the path and arrive at a stone wall. As I follow the stone wall, I see a giant green door. I walk up to the door and knock three times with my right hand. The door cracks a little and just as it does, I raise my left hand and announce,
“I come in peace. May I enter?”
The door cracks open further and I can see a man. This man was older, with a well-formed beard. He was dressed in religious garb from head to toe, wore a black hat, and had a gown on that was black in color. His dress reminded me of an orthodox Christian priest. He says,
“Yes, we have been expecting you.”
He gestures for me to enter. He then leads me through a stone courtyard to a building in the center of it. We enter through the doors of the building and then we proceed to a set of stairs located within the building that leads down to the basement of the structure. Once we arrive in the basement, I notice that there is a metallic covering along one of the walls. He walks over to the metal covering, and opens it. As the door opens, it exposes the bedrock to the structure. He gestures for me to inspect the bedrock. I look down and notice that what he is gesturing for me to see, is a discoloration exposed. The rest of the bedrock is stone in color or gray. The portion he is pointing towards is black in color. I reach down with my right hand to touch the discolored rock and the entire vision turns into an intense white light. Once again, I find myself back in the base dream in front of the being that had brought me there.
The Hologram of Jesus
I am confused by now and do not understand what any of that vision means. I ask,
“I don’t understand. Who am I?”
This time, the being reaches down with two enormous hands and shows me a device. The device is kind of a reminiscent of an iPad, yet without any buttons or a border on the screen. It reminds me of a piece of glass, only this glass has a picture on it. I look at the picture that is on the screen and can make out that the picture is an image of Jesus, at least, what I perceive to be Jesus. This is not the historical account of Jesus. The man is darker skinned than the standard narrative way that Jesus is depicted in western culture, yet the features are the same. It is a head shot only and he is wearing a crown of thorns. Confused and perplexed, once again I say with great strength about myself,
“I don’t understand.”
As I look at the picture some more, it changes and the image of Jesus’s face morphs into my face, as if I were looking into a mirror. Again, I step back, bewildered to say the least, and I attempt to understand what I am being shown; what meaning is behind the significance of this exchange. There were no shapes and symbols being transmitted; I am left to my own thoughts. Then and without warning, the entire dream turns into the same bright white light that I experienced at the end of the second vision I was shown, and I awake back inside of my car. I feel a sense of peace overcome my body and mind.
The next moments would be spent remembering what just happened to me in that dream state. I made the trip to find answers, and I was given many answers during the exchange, yet was left bewildered by what it all meant. Still, I was comfortable with not knowing. As my mind raced through thoughts of attempting to find inner meaning with what had just happened, I noticed something outside of my car while I sat there staring out the window. There it was again. The same spherical white light in the sky that my wife and I had seen the night before, was present. It was hovering about 1,000 meters above my car and it began to move at quick speed towards the top of Mount Rainier. I watched as the light moved up the mountain, it took about 20 seconds. As soon as it hit the top of the mountain, like a lightning bolt, it shot up in the air and out of sight. I looked at the clock on the car’s dash and it read 4:00 AM.
The Drive Home
Although I only had five hours of sleep, I felt refreshed like I had slept for days. I woke my son up to help me with packing up the tent and the rest of the camping supplies. Within the hour, we had packed everything up and were back on the road headed towards home. My son, so tired from the whole ordeal, quickly fell back asleep on the drive back.
I then began to tell my wife what had happened the night before in my dream. I could tell by her silence that everything that had happened the previous few days had been hard on her. I could sense her concern over not being able to tell whether I was losing my mind, as my actions had changed seemingly overnight. Spirituality was never my deal; however, the last few days had me rethinking that for sure. I attempted to tell her the dream and she shut me off from talking about it. She told me,
“I don’t want to hear about it.”
Truthfully, all the events were too much for her to bear. It took me months to attempt to re-engage with her about my experience. She is reserved, and after witnessing some of the events, she still had no understanding or idea as to what really happened on those three days in the summer of 2014.
THE END
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Now for the good stuff. What I experienced was the beginning stages of psychosis. This is how it played out. The medication I was prescribed for depression (Zoloft) started the cycling process for bipolar mania. I was experiencing what would be one of my first cycles of bipolar mania and as a result from the strange occurrences and the weird dream, I started to believe that I was Jesus. I spent the next year in a state of psychosis until the following summer when I walked out on my job and sought treatment for what, at the time, was a manic episode. I was sound of mind before I took the antidepressant drug, and as a result of me taking it, I am now forced to take a regime of drugs to attempt to control my brain's chemistry. Let this be a warning to those prescribed these powerful SSRI's, and let my story here be an eye opener to the power of the mind. I still, to this day, cannot differentiate between reality and this event as this event is as real of a memory to me. Thanks for your time in reading my words...
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Very interesting. Very cool.
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