I actually planned to make something motivational. But in the end, it turned out like a serious talk I had with myself. Maybe, your feelings were close to mine, who knows?
I had many interests and hobbies in my life. I feel that I have the desire to show something to the world and tried to express it in different ways.
So far, I tried:
-writing
-playing guitar
-video editing
-drawing comics
-photography
Many of this slowly faded away with time. My interest just dropped down and never came back. Sometimes, when you leave something behind, it gives you a room for growth, to experience and try something new. But sometimes, the reasons can be more serious.
You can’t deny, that you are just a human and some deep fears and troubles are hiding underneath you. It can be envy, ego, jelaousy.
I’m sure, many people thought like this:
“I’m not good enough”, “He writes/draws/takes photos better than me”, “I don’t see any progress. I just want to give up”, “If I were rich, I could do that...but I’m not”, “People will laugh at it”.
I know these feelings, and I’m fully aware that they are poisoning my soul.
Let’s look at some of them a little bit closer. I wanted to talk about following ones, which I named:
3 main “isms”
Sometimes, I tend to overanalyze every single small thing. Especially, when it comes to my inner world and what caused it to shake again.
This time, I want to make it simple and short. So,let’s get started.
Perfectionism
I spend a lot of time to make it so perfect! I verify every detail, check for mistakes, add or delete…
And finally, with shaking hands and hope I show my “child” to the world.
And what follows is…
Critisism
Personally, I fear critisism so bad, that I can barely do anything. I write something and never show to anyone.
I know that constructive critisism is what we all need the most. Not only praise and compliments.
And what we fear the most is pure hate.
Emotionalism
I have such a wide range of emotions that it’s sometimes becomes unbearable. I remember this good phrase: “It’s both a cursing and a bliss to feel everything so deeply”.
Sometimes, I wish I didn’t have it in me. It affects almost everything in my life – relationships, studies, health, rational thinking.
But then I remember, that all of these "isms" have a good side.
-With critisism, I learn how do become better myself.
-With perfectionism, I imply, that I’m diligent and I don’t want to see my work rushed and incomplete.
-With emotionalism, I can experience a world with not only negative feelings, but also great positive ones. And I enjoy to feel, even if it’s not always sun and rainbows.
It is often said, that you should truly enjoy what are you doing, and it will be paid off.
But it is also important to face your fears, admit them and work with them.
As for me, it was a big step that I even wrote this down and decided to share it with everyone.
Maybe, steemit gives me the opportunity to finally change.
Творческий процесс
Вместо листка – экран. Создан новый файл.
В глазах сплошной туман. И в макушку что-то давит.
В Атланты набиваться не спешу,
Но, кажется, что небосвод уперся в мысли.
И вновь себе же возражу –
Для этого он слишком лёгок и расплывчаст.
А все мешается жарою. И я пишу-пишу…
Не скрою, теряюсь иногда в догадках,
К чему сквозь символы, загадки,
Приходят образы и звуки,
В рифме сплетаясь ритма стуком,
Что будто древний барабан,
Гул производит, а Шаман
Глядит в костра дым неотрывно…
Не сразу веришь в строки, буквы,
Не сразу смысл виден в них.
На грани пониманья амплитуды
Запишешь миру новый стих.
Расскажешь правду или небыль,
Что правдой может только стать.
Пробелы же пусть будут светом!
Чтобы смогла она дышать!
Прекрасный стих!
Восхищаюсь Вашим талантом :)
Спасибо:) Как и Вы, пробую разное, люблю монтировать семье и друзьям клипы из фото и видео. Но как-то меня все время возвращает к рифмам. Зона творческого комфорта)) А что Вам ближе всего?
Наверное, все-таки писательство. Как раз стихи я никогда не сочиняла толком, а вот к прозе тянулась. По душе придумывание рассказов, новых персонажей и ситуаций :)
Thanks for this. You sound exactly like my housemate with your isms!
I wouldn't call myself the most creative person, but I do think that when I have my most creative output is when I am living in the present, when I don't think of the past or the future - which is often hard to do. When I let go of those thoughts then I also forget about the perfectionism and the criticism, and can just focus on whatever I am doing and enjoy it, which is what it is all about.
It is true. The secret is to enjoy it. Just like a child building a sand castle. No matter how it looks it the process they enjoy. We must too
Thank you very much!
And you are right about living in the present. I often need to stop, take a full breath and enjoy exactly THIS moment, rather than travelling to the future or past.
Pessimism. A great evil too can affect creativity. The secret is to enjoy it. Once one loves the process the end result may seem insignificant. Again I want to stress on "may". A lot depends on the person how he handles himself and his mind.
Exactly! It's important to remember the core of it all - your personal satisfaction. It is often pushed aside, because in reality, we have many things to stress about. And we put too much stress on stress, haha.
I also liked your analogy with the child and a sand castle.
thanks