with what you don't know.
― Nassim Nicholas Taleb
Gemma
I've had people tell me they were old souls and I did an inward eye roll, because seriously, what does that even mean?
Are they're saying they've lived many lives and have acquired wisdom―well, how is that working for them in this one? I don't see much evidence of ascended masters. I think in some circles it's almost a cliche and makes me angry in a way because it trivializes what Kate and I have experienced.
We don't have all the answers―actually, we don't have any of them. We're doing what everyone else on this planet is doing, getting up every day and walking around and learning through the bumps and pain.
It's easy to say Gemma and I struggle because of past existences but it doesn't help us day to day. And maybe Fate has thrown us together for a second go at this, but it doesn't make the struggle any easier or supply wisdom to avoid it in the first place.
It's part of our Fate to be trapped in a circle of flesh, working out our angst and struggles by learning how to love or just duking it out the old-fashioned way in some back alley...
But ascended masters? Give me a break.
I'm back at the Hart House Grill observing the T. A.'s tittering together at their table and watching the wheel of life play out.
In the Buddhist cosmology there are six realms of rebirth and existence and I've eliminated gods and demi-gods. So, that leaves me with humans and animals―thank God for Mollie!
But the other two realms are hungry ghosts and hells? Let's just say the jury's out on those two as well.
"You seem to do your best thinking here," Gemma smiles as she sits down across from me.
"Well, it does see to preoccupy me," I concede.
"I brought you more coffee because I saw you absently lift that mug to your lips and put it down because it was empty. Now what does that tell me?"
"That you're observant?" I smile cynically.
"Well that, and the fact you zone out whenever I come in here. I could develop a rejection complex just based on that little detail."
"Or, you might conclude you have a fatal beauty, like Medusa, and turn men to stone with your presence."
"You sure you're not a player?" she teases, "because I can see some evidence of it in that remark."
"What, a mere classical allusion? I thought you'd be amused."
"Or you thought I'd be charmed. I can see I'm still going to have to keep my guard up with you, Professor Radley―there's a reason the T. A'.s sit near you. I suspected it all along."
"Ah, a mere twist of Fate."
"Really? In an entangled universe, there are no coincidences. The Fates don't play dice."
Nothing like a hefty repartee to start the day off right.
That seems how all our conversations go and when they end, I feel bereft. Now, why is that?
I watch intrigued as Gemma wends her way to class, passing the T. A.'s table as gracefully as a swan bypassing a raft of ducks.
They can't help but notice―her beauty's arresting and makes everything go silent in a kind of Medusa effect. I suppose in her past life as Quinn that's how she weaved her spell over me, but I still chose Viv in the end.
Gemma can capture the moment but when it's past, my thoughts turn back to true north, to Kate and the life we have. I can't parse it any further but for me it's sufficient―she fills me to overflowing.
She's the answer to all my questions and the key to all my decisions.
At the end of the day, I point the SUV west and she draws me like a magnet.
I know when I get home Mollie will be waiting and Kate will either be there or check in by phone. There's no shadow of doubt in our feelings and being with her is soothing and healing, whether on walks or by the fire, she gives my soul rest.
Today she's waiting on the porch with Mollie, and when I exit the car they both love bomb me. The sun is red in the trees and they're eager to get out on the trail and walk our familiar route and chat about the day.
Well, at least Mollie's waiting for the moment when I turn her loose when we're past the wooden walkway and she can float over the long grass like a deer until she ends up at the cliffs.
I look into Kate's shining eyes and feel complete.
"Oh no!" Kate gasps. I follow her gaze to where Mollie has encountered the Dark Lady just below the cave in the cliff.
Mollie's not frightened but happy and leans her body into the woman while the lady kneels and wrap her arms around Mollie's neck.
We stand frozen maybe a hundred feet away and watch the dumb show play out. Then , the woman stands, holds her hand up to wave and then completely fades away.
Mollie lies down and smells the ground where she stood and makes a soft whuffling noise much like the kind she makes for Kate when she nuzzles her.
"My God, Si, they have such a strong bond it scares me. I don't really understand."
I hug her and whisper, "Neither do I, but Mollie loves her and that makes her a friend."
Mollie trots back, a slight red stain of ochre on her neck fur as I expected. Women paint their faces in her times and ours.
She's leaning against Kate as if for comfort and it's plain to see she misses the woman.
"Don't try to figure it out, Kate―I've tried and it just confounds me."
She nods and gives a slight shiver. "Let's get back. I want to sit by the fire tonight―the three of us."
I don't pretend to understand the bond between Mollie and the woman but the prospect of gathering around the fire is enough to cheer all of us.
We had a spectral visitor―that's all. In our lives that amounts to being tantamount to, nothing to see here.