The Cleaner (Part 2 of 3).
A large, neat lounge area sparsely decorated with a leather three piece suite, 2 coffee tables and a natural open fireplace set upon a wooden floor with various rugs greeted him. All were dwarfed by the needlessly tall ceiling. A breakfast bar twenty feet to his right was all that separated the lounge from the kitchen that lay beyond.
Two doors stood slightly ajar on the opposite wall forty feet away, offering glimpses into what were perhaps an office and a bedroom. The wall approximately eighty feet to his left was all glass except for a small door leading to a patio. The whole wall allowed a stunning view of the tree lined, shadow dappled valley.
He drew back his concentration, placed his items neatly on the floor near the wall behind him, and stood patiently waiting for the call to end to get instruction. His host seemed to be alone as expected.
The man ended his call undramatically. "Staybrite cleaning?" he enquired.
"That's right sir, your wife made a booking." the cleaner answered in a clear voice making eye contact, "Mr Branan?".
"Yes" he answered curtly" look, I'm expecting a call, I wonder if you could start in the bedroom over there?" he pointed vaguely to one of the doors opposite.
"Yes sir."
Mr Branans phone began to ring and was answered almost immediately, he turned toward the breakfast bar to continue talking in a subdued voice. The cleaner picked up his equipment and moved across to the bedroom.
Once inside and having placed everything down on the queen sized bed, he moved the door slightly to obscure himself from being seen. Extracting his own mobile from inside the coveralls and forcing it from standby, he confirmed the picture and price. Mr Branan was still the job, the picture was definitely him, no retraction and the price was right.
He put the phone back on standby, replaced it in his pocket, and pulled his case toward him on the bed. Listening to the indistinguishable words in the next room, his thoughts ruminated on these types of jobs. It was easy money when the person's partner was the one paying for the contract.
An arrangement of a cleaner while she was overseas, and a time and day he needed to be home to allow entry was all it took. She would, of course have had to make a booking with an agency so she looked legitimate before and after the deed. It was a pity he had to dispose of the worker whose body now lay in the rear of the van, he didn't get paid for collateral damage, but it had made his task much easier.
Listening now to bits of the phone conversation while he screwed the silencer slowly onto the gun, he could tell how far away the mark was, how distracted he seemed. He could even roughly guess which direction he was facing most of the time just by listening.
Then he gave a subtle snort of derision. It was funny he thought, how people believed they were in some sort of cone of silence when talking on a mobile. He caught part of a number being given, perhaps an account or access pin, and thought about how a less scrupulous person might take advantage and use the number later.
No matter to him, he was to be well paid on completion.
The cleaner released the safety and crouched down to make use of the keyhole, and waited for the conversation to end.
A short time later, he saw Mr Branan thoughtfully place the phone down and realised his chance. Standing, he swung the pistol behind his back and began to open the door wider with his other hand.
"I'm sorry to bother you Mr Branan, but I need to ring my office and I don't have my phone. Could I borrow your mobile?" he pointed.
Mr Branans gaze followed the finger to his mobile, and as he began to turn back to answer, the cleaner went into action.
End of Part 2.
It sounds like a lovely home; awful shame about the mess theres going to be to clean up afterwards. Blood never comes out of carpets the way you'd want it to.
I wasn't disappointed, and eagerly look forward to tomorrow!
I am both delighted you look forward to the next installment, and also somewhat concerned you know how difficult it is to extract blood from a carpet.
It was more a creative inference...but I see now that excuse seems horribly tacked on :P
Totally saw it coming. Bird of a feather I suppose. LOVE it. I was driving earlier today thinking about your first post, thinking that "the cleaner" I would write would end in multiple homicides. You have inspired me my friend. I may have to take a break and write a little something I was thinking about after reading yours. No spoilers though. It's unrelated but your post was indeed the brain child of it. That is of course if it ever come to fruition.
I'm trying to utilize the @thewritersblock, this will probably postpone my posts but hopefully they with be much less prone to silly mistakes going forward. They seem to be a good community, perhaps a bit on the English Nazi side of things, but it's probably what I need, being all undisciplined in the written word and such.
Loving that we can help each other here. Am thinking of a longer scify 'book' story, but I like the splitting up into parts to try and get an audience with each post.
I have been through the 'Nazi' stuff (where its needed)with training to be a transcriber. While I value the conformity to an extent, unless its life or death or removes from the tale to a large degree, I value imagination and story above all. Your work is not anywhere near a path someone could not follow- please do not beat yourself up and find you languish in a quicksand of punctuation! I would rather read the next chapter! (and I am sure those that follow would agree!) I do not want to miss out on your story because someone says its not 'professional' enough. I don't care. I'm intrigued enough to want more!
If I was to want to publish, of course I would hire an editor to resolve issues like comma splices etc. But while I rough draft a 'penny dreadful' I don't see the benefit (although I know some would disagree). Until then , I will just write how I like without the added stress (like I know there are too many exclamation marks in this post!).
I'm not surprised you saw the fork in the road, I tried to leave double meanings to fool you but I guess it didn't work. Glad though, to be of inspiration- as your work is to me. Bouncing ideas off one another I find to be lots of fun! If you need an assasin, feel free to use this guy and add to his backstory and I'll do the same if you want to flesh out a character together in individual stories- that could get kinda stupid, LOVE that idea!
I think personally, It will be good for my writing. I've never been a huge fan of rules, but there are some simple things that I can correct which will allow me to more effectively tell the story. I don't think I will be putting everything I do through a review, going forward but i'm totally oblivious to much of the technical side of writing. I have my next few pages being reviewed right now, and it is helping me tighten up the more sloppy aspects of my work.
I think that I want to try a few short stories as well. Just as a pallet cleanser and to try different aspects of story telling. Short stories are fun for me because the characters are expendable I can do what I please with them, and those who are not, may end up staring in their own longer story.
Yeah I would love to do something like that with you. Once I put up a short story, if their are characters that I have not completely decimated, and you would like to feature them in a followup or back story, I'd get all giddy about that. After your permission of course, if I use one of yours, I'll just be sure I won't get them killed. :^P