They say, “Don't get stressed, don't panic, don't get tense, and stay calm.” I'm like, if I get calm, then how am I gonna work on the problem because being calm makes me lazy, makes me take things lightly, and I end up making that other failed stuff. Ultimately, that failed matter creates another burden, and becomes another reason for me to worry about.
“Pressure is a privilege. It means you’re expected to do something special.” – Billie Jean King
One of my colleagues suddenly started a conversation over tension, like stressing out with something, whether we will be able to make that happen or not. He is like, “Take it easy, getting tensed won't make the task done, rather it will hamper, so stop worrying.”
Well, I do agree that getting tense won't make the task easier or anything, but from my personal assumption, staying tense is what drives me towards the work, keeps me engaged, and pushes me like I gotta do this, otherwise a certain messup will take place. This is what keeps me on the track.
The thing is, I am a lazy person, super lazy on stuff that doesn't bother me, like if I get calm with something, then it happens to be forgotten or likely ignored. Why? Because without excitement, and so I don't get driven, I need an adrenaline rush, need something that would always poke me right, do this. There were so many things that ended up getting faded away just because I took them too lightly to act. Actually, I have always been happy with the mindset of me not taking things too seriously, which would freak me out, like I can cool down even if the situation is on fire. I never do things that are slow, boring, or exciting. I'm like, “I need a rush, adrenaline rush, pressure, push to keep me engaged.”
This has been a disease for me for the last few years. Even now, I don't feel like taking anything into consideration unless or until it becomes a pain point for me, it causes direct trouble, or hampers my regular wellbeing.
And that is why I felt like saying that tension is good for me, even though it is killing me alive. But to me, this is like a double-edged sword. When I place my arguments, like I don't do anything if that doesn't stress me, doesn't make me tense, or bugs me on and on. To be honest, this is like fooling yourself, like we all do have tense situations, this way or that, so instead of freaking out and getting lost, we can take it as a way to utilize. Fooling myself into thinking it is the driving force for me reduces the damage to me. Like enjoying the unenjoyable stuff. I have always felt like if you can't avoid the disaster, try to enjoy the disaster. Hehe, enjoying a disaster? Lol, I'm mad. Do what you want to lessen the damage.
So yeah, don't get mad, enjoy, and go with the flow, life is beautiful.
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