I feel like the effect of the text should enhance or form part of the metaphor. I think you can say that the handwritten version kind of does that if the reader can see it and liken it to debris being pulled into a vacuum or some other conjuring that coincides with their understanding.
I like being able to play with the text and the visual presentation of my poems and feel kind of let down by markdown. I also like the straight up nature of good old left justified text with no picture (basically steemit suicide). I do feel that the centered text on steemit is overused, however, I agree that it is much more visibly appeasing.
I really enjoyed the concepts of this poem. Stripping down the ego from one's self is kind of like chopping off your right middle finger with your right hand. It might be possible, but it won't be easy or pretty when it's done. Nice write.