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The hardest truth accepting is that i can never go back in the past to make things right. I have achieved a lot so far but none of that has made me happy like she did. I just keep looking back.
The happiest I have been at a row, and for months is with her. Everyday it felt like there is something interesting I am looking forward to. I was really happy.
Now Its like I am walking through a tunnel and I keep walking but can't see any light at the end. And I look back and I still see the light I left and I feel like I should run back to it but I still can't. I have to keep moving, alone.
Sometimes I am still glad I have no choice in this but to keep moving forward and being strong because I have made so many mistakes that has stolen away my happiness including her and I am scared I will regret every single choice that I make.
I don't really don't wanna write this or disturb anyone with my complains. The person I am refering to isn't even seeing it but I feel okay doing it.
I mean, what's the point of crying if no one is seeing you crying?
You know I have so many things going on. I am busy and I have stuffs I am doing. But at the end, its like I return to bed to sleep with her in my mind.
Like I must think about us, i must think of what used to be, i must remember the good memories, no matter how good or fun the day was.
I even attempted to cut communications with her by blocking her on social media and deleting her number but i have the number memorized in my head, and in the darkest hours, i can't help but text her, which i still regret in the morning.
Its just difficult letting go, if not impossible.
Thanks for reading and i hope i touched someone's heart with this post. I wrote this to let you know you not alone if you feel this way too. Do not hesitate to upvote and comment your thoughts.
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YOURS
@PARAMIMD😘
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