We all have been through those times when things feel too heavy.
We feel like we can't control anything. Things keep on going bad rather than great.
We feel this darkness sorrounding us...
Sometimes back I had a similar feeling, nothing seemed to work out, at school things seemed to be a lot complicated than the normal, at first I never thought of asking for help or even sharing with a friend or a close relative.Growing up in a society that believes it is a weakness to talk about problems or seek help really messes up the perspective.
So I went on with the normal activities but I wasn't even sure of who I was or what I was really doing anymore, I felt a total disconnect with who I really am.
I wasn't at peace, instead of making progress, I was moving backward, of course, everyone thought I was okay, but I wasn't. I was all smiling in front of people but deep down I was hurting.
I did question that belief of; you're weak if you ask for help.But I wasn't aware was how deeply it was embedded in my subconscious mind.
I thought to bear all the weight on my shoulders, all alone was the best thing to do. No one will judge me and call me weak.Little did I know that I was doing myself more harm than good?
Of course, my conscious mind kept bombarding me with questions;
Was I really weak for wanting to take care of myself? For doing that which I think will be of benefit.
Do the people who I think care, really even care?The society that is.
What really matters;
having everyone have the impression that everything is okay, while it actually isn't
or
having people think I'm weak, I can't handle it all by myself, but at the end of the day have peace of mind?
Do I live to please people or do I live by my own accord?
I just couldn't agree on being a people pleaser. So that meant seeking help, no matter what people would think or say, I had zero control on the outside world, the only control I had was over me and what I decided to do about my state.
Immediately realizing this I went to the college counselor and to my surprise the counselor was more helpful than I had even expected her to be.
With time, sharing and letting someone help did help me get that peace of mind I always wished for.
The experience made me realize that it is Okay Not To Be Okay, it is not weak seeking help, we are all humans and there are times where no matter how hard we try things just don't work out and we need that input from someone else.
Seeking help doesn't make us weak, it means we're stronger and we are willing to do what is required of us to maintain the peace of mind, it means that we admit we won't always have solutions to our problems, we can deal with them in a better way with the help.
Of course, it is also not weak to not ask for help, some of us are able to sort things out on themselves,just saying that when things get tough, when we feel like the darkness is about to control, when we deeply feel we need a little bit of assistance, someone will always be there to listen and offer guidance.
So guys there goes an update, I will try to make up for missing yesterdays update, by uploading twice a day, in the future though. Something came up and I just couldn't make to upload an update.
Anyway, I do really appreciate your support guys, for the reads, the upvotes, and the comments, y'all mean the world to me.
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Till next update....
Take care.