I feel you @hitmeasap. I've been in the same boat for a while. I don't want to give up, I just don't have the energy I did. I signed up in Dec and have worked my tooshie off to get where I am. I have not put any personal funds into my account. Just too stinkin broke.
I don't know if you've seen any of my Mindfulness Mondays or some other postings. I have lived with depression, anxiety and PTSD for 30 years now. Been off and on medication so much it's not wonder it feels like nothing works anymore. The only thing that works is me when I can manage to control me. I don't want mental illness to be 'taboo' anymore. I honestly feel the more we talk about it, it will help someone. One of my main goals has been to educate on these issues and discuss (work on discussing) the varied activities one can 'help' themselves with.
We almost lost a wonderful Steemian this weekend. They were just at the end of their rope. After talking it turned out we have many similarities. I am extremely glad they weren't successful.
It does sound like you need 'me' time. Or just a little time off Steem to get life back in order.
I would like to be considered for your 'push', I'll make it one way or another, help is always greatly appreciated.
Thank your for the comment @tryskele. Mental illness is "taboo", which is insane, as so many people suffer from it... But I agree with you, it will help someone the more we talk about it. At least, that way they'll be able to see that they're not alone.
Yeah, I might be in need of "me" time, but that's also one of my biggest problems right now... There's basically no room for "me" time, because time is limited. Especially nowadays. So, I'm in the middle of this entire nightmare and I can't find any shortcuts, or exits. The only way, seems to be to go through the fire... But even if I do, I might not be able to get out. At least not the way I want.
I'm trying, and I will continue to push myself... I just hope that I'll be able to choose the right door whenever I find one.
You're welcome @hitmeasap. I still have issues with me time. I find when I can get it in, it really helps. I totally understand about time being limited. Tonight was the first night I had to myself all week. I was setup to paint and watch a movie....I played some silly game on the computer and just zoned out LOL.
I am sure you will you'll make the right choice if a choice is needed. You seem to have good instincts.
Thank you, I appreciate it. I can totally relate to the things you've said here. I don't paint, but I watch movies, series and play games amongst other things, and I often end up just staring at the screen... lol.
I hope you're okay, and I hope I'll be okay too.
I do a lot of staring at the screen. Especially lately when I get time to post. I'm hanging in there. Sounds bad, I've been through this so many times, I just know it's a matter of time. I have become the mask master LOL Ironically, I don't share much on how I am feeling with friends and family. All I get is, just get over it type comments to where I just want to scream back, DON'T YOU THINK I WISH I COULD! or Do you really believe I want to feel this way or have my life interrupted every so often?
There is a rather large group of people just like us right now feeling the same way for various reasons and we're not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. We're losing hope and that's when things turn south. I'll be fine, I am more worried about other people, the ones that haven't been taught properly how to work through this. It took me 25 years to find a therapist that hasn't put me in the hospital for one reason or another. So I have taken her beliefs and the skills she has taught me and have run with them. It's the whole reason I do my Monday postings.
I think the worst thing is we all have this let down right now because of the Hardfork. The game has changed too much and takes way too much time and energy for little to no reward.
I like how @steemitbloggers does their application process. I love the group as much as I love @asapers and @pifc. I spend so much time building others up and commenting, I don't get enough time for me to post or I don't know I just don't feel like it my energy is zapped. My Steemit world seems to be crumbling around me along with my life and I am more concerned with trying to be understanding support for others. It's so much better getting honest support from someone whose been through this, that understand the mentality behind it all and willing to talk about it, than to get a pat on the shoulder from say you're best friend You'll be ok, it's just in your head.
I see everyone has been a little chatty and you've responded to everyone. That takes strength. A lot of strength when you're feeling this way. That's honestly why I believe you'll be ok. It's just going to take some time. Maybe you should try painting. Look up Jackson Pollock's style seems like it would be a great release. Dip your brush in the paint and just splatter the paint it to make streaks and such. Kind of like filling up a cup and just throw it at wall LOL.