How I Met Your Mother

Kids, in this month of love, let me share with you one of the stories of how I met your mother. So, sit back, relax and pay attention.

A very long time ago I had been crushing on this studio girl, we'd become best of friends that we could jointly decide on days we would and would not go to work. Everyone in the studio kindf knew that our absence or presence at work was as a result of our mutual decision. We spent almost every lunch break together walking the long sunny distance from the office to the closest snacks vendor as we loathed visiting the official canteen due to reasons best understood by people who've worked there.

One Tuesday morning, I had gotten to the studio very early as usual. I had spent several hours viewing several videos on YouTube before other colleagues started coming in. One of our most senior colleagues who was a presenter came in and suggested we ran a mock-filming for her proposed online TV Show. We all agreed. We were going to be her guests on the show, "bae-to-be" was one, and I was the only guy of four people including the presenter herself.

Stage set, camera rolling, action! Filming started and we decided to talk about Boyfriends as that was International Boyfriends day. I was busy smiling to the camera with my teeth out like a roasted goat when the first big question landed on me; "Are you a boyfriend to someone?" As a sharp guy who wanted to impress "bae-to-be", I sharpally returned an answer "No ooo. I don't have a girlfriend, I've been out of these relationship issues for a very long time now". They all responded "Wow! Wow! Wow!" like an ambulance siren. Me sef was happy to have successfully advertised myself to "bae-to-be". Question landed on the other guest too (not bae-to-be) "Do you have a boyfriend?", she gave almost the same reply, but she happened to be a fresh-out from the city of heartbreak (me sef pity am, but she wasn't my spec. Our blood no rhyme. So, she was on her own).

When the question landed on bae-to-be ehn. You know that feeling of when Courtois is about to take a penalty kick abi? That was it kids, that was what I felt, my heart in my mouth. Kids, the response she gave that day does not really matter today. What matters most to me is still how I kept on shining my teeth and smiling till the end of that video when I knew I was broken inside of me to the tiniest bits after her response.

Bae-to-be did not only have a boyfriend, she had a boyfriend who was out of the country during that period. So, I immediately concluded that I stood no chance. I mean, how was Ifeanyi Ubah Fc going to beat Chelsea FC? is it possible?

Though, I on one occasion summoned courage and told her what she needed to know. It was perfectly planned, and as I was piloting the drivetime show, standing in for one of the busy OAPS, I carefully selected appropriate songs to throw us both in the realm, and there in the studio I let the cat out the bag. But kids 'eshinshin wey no dey hear word dey follow dead body enter grave.' It was painful to admit that it wasn't going to work out but it was helpful on the long run.

Our lunch breaks didn't stop and our friendship didn't end, in fact it waxed stronger and better. (If you mention friendzone there, I go stone you with my shoe). So, kids it was time to forgive myself of the too many fantasies I had sketched and painted in my head, it was time to move on with life, live and love again.

I was never in a hurry to look for the perfect woman to mother the both of you, neither did I coarse any lady to leave her relationship for my sake. Your mother is the result of my patience, a product of God's grace and she came along at the perfect time. So dear son, move on with your life, and chase those dreams that give you joy and satisfaction. Only one woman is worth the fight, sweat and the blood and that's not the one you handpicked yourself, but the one that was tailored and customized by God specially for you. Chase your dreams, focus on your goals and she'll come along in due time.