This is especially true today where people have been conditioned to be hypersensitive to who they are, and can even choose who they are, just by saying it aloud that they are that thing.
I'm not sure I understand what you're saying here... who is better positioned to choose who I am than me? What sort of example are you thinking of here?
as people have become isolated, which means that while they focus on pleasing themselves for higher highs, they also have deeper dips, with no one to lend a hand to help them out - yet they expect to be helped.
I do feel like this is a larger societal issue rather than a personal one. For most of (non-nomadic) human history people lived in multigenerational homes and villages - people worked together for the good of the village/family, and supported each other.
Now we do jobs that are far removed from the benefit of the work (ie, we're not eating the food we grew ourselves), we're working long hours, we all live isolated (immediate family wasn't always so isolated), we travel in individual metal boxes everywhere, etc etc. This isn't about individuals choosing to isolate themselves, we've created a system that isolates people because that's how they're most productive... until they're not, and then just replace them.
Even the fact that boarding houses have essentially been outlawed has significantly reduced community, I'm sure if younger people had the option to live in boarding houses, then your colleague would have had people constantly checking up on them and helping where possible.
You can choose who you are through the way you behave, but saying you are something doesn't make it so.
Oh, I completely agree. Individuals can choose to reshape their localized/ close community, yet most will not, because they think that it is too much work. The modern economy is aligned for profit, not humanity. Like you said about jobs removed from the benefits, businesses also sell products that are removed from community and health.
My colleague realized that if they want to be "okay" in the next down cycle, they have to do something now that they are pulling out of one now. They have the plateau and the up to change their social profile.
We could do better in this world for humans, but no one is going to do it for us.
Oh, I see... like telling people that you're humble doesn't actually make you humble? Or saying you're an expert in Finance?
Or just don't know how to... or are exhausted from just trying to make ends meet week to week.
I do think that 100ish years ago, most of the time community would find you purely because of where you lived... people lived together and hang out in the town square, etc. Yes, there are more screens, but I do think that is because people are trying to recreate those social areas like Town Halls and Town Squares that just aren't available anymore.
Building community around you is so hard these days (if you don't have access to a sauna).