Since having a stroke a couple years ago, my mind and body has been dogged by a lot of new conditions and idiosyncrasies. This week, I identified another one and have been reflecting on what causes it and what it might mean. It has to do with my eyes.
The eyes are the window to the soul.
He has shifty eyes.
What does that last statement mean to you? When someone has shifty eyes, what does it indicate? What have you been told it indicates?
Positive, or negative?
If you ask someone to remember something from their childhood, they will nearly always look up and to a side, as their brain starts to access the information. Ask them to remember a time they did the wrong thing, they will likely look downward, again accessing information. Our eyes tend to be a physical tool of our memory.
However, when someone's eyes are darting around, we have been told that they are "shifty", being dishonest, and probably lying. And now, I have realized that I have become shifty. This didn't happen pre-stroke, but post-stroke, me eyes are moving far more than they used to and if I try to keep them locked, it takes a lot of effort and I am not listening. So, I was thinking about why this might be.
As I have mentioned in the past, my brain no longer creates spontaneous images based on what is being said and instead, I have to manually build scenes. This is laborious, time consuming and energy draining, but it has to be done in order to build any useful understanding. However, in order to do this, it means that I have to first take what I hear, convert each word into its visualized form, piece them together into a coherent story, and then review to see if it makes sense and is representative of what has been said.
The time it takes to do this automatically is near instantaneous and on-the-fly, but for me, it takes longer than I have and by the time I "understand" internally, the conversation has moved on, with many more sentences missed, making full understanding near impossible. This makes what I have learned tenuous and reduces my ability to predict and plan, or advise.
While I have been "noticing" the eye movement in myself for a long time, it didn't really click as to what is happening, but while I was talking with my supervisor, it dawned on me. I think that since my brain is no longer able to automatically create those images, it is constantly searching for the pieces it needs, which triggers my eyes to move to gain access in different parts of my history. It is searching "wildly" and without control, because it isn't even getting the first rough image used to narrow the range.
After a couple days reflecting, I decided to google and came across these types of headlines based on a 2012 study into eye movement and lying. The basic finding was that the eyes aren't indicative of lying, but are indicative of accessing memories. This is a bias confirming headline for sure! But it does make sense to me as I came to the same conclusion observationally and combined with other known brain traits I have now.
However, when people have been socially conditioned to believe that a certain trait indicates an intention or result, it doesn't really make a difference. This means that to the casual observer, I am likely now seen as a liar. At the very least, the eye movement away from the speaker as my brain is trying to process, would imply that I am not really paying attention to them, even if I am.
For me to be able to actively listen to what they are saying, I have to be able to interpret what is said into something my brain understands. We normally do this naturally, unless not listening. Yet, since I have to do this process manually, it isn't going to look like I am trying to make sense of their words, it looks like I am trying to form a response. When we are forming a response to what is being said, we aren't listening.
So, I am an inattentive listener, even though I have intention to listen.
All behaviors impact on our results, even if they are blind to us or unintentional. Our idiosyncrasies give an impression about us, especially when the trait is seen as culturally negative, as we are very quick to judge the information we receive. So, regardless of what is actually happening, the people observing me might reach conclusions based on my behavior, that is not actually representative of what is happening, which can affect my outcomes in life.
What happens when you get the sense someone can't be trusted?
Even if here is other evidence to the contrary, you are more wary, aren't you? You will back your feeling, your intuition, which as I have said before, is based on experience, not fact. And the experience is also social biases, including not trusting some people over others, because of what might be arbitrary traits, like eye movement.
There is not much I can do about my eye movement itself, and most of the time there is not much I can do about the way people read my behaviors, so I just have to live with it as another hurdle to overcome. However, the process of reflecting on it has been useful and also indicates how blind we might be to how we actually behave, as well as how we are perceived by others.
He's so shifty.
We should promote him!!
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
I'm probably the same way, but I think a lot of it has to do with my ADHD. It's pretty rare that I will look anyone in the eye when I am talking to them. In fact, most of the time I won't even look in their general direction. It just feels unnatural to me. I know it's the proper thing to do, but I just haven't been able to condition myself to do it. Throw some degraded brain function on top and I don't think I would be able to handle it. It sounds like you have found a great way to cope, whether people appreciate that or not.
A psychologist once explained it to a group that people without ADHD go outside and they may focus on something out there, whereas someone who has ADHD their focus is on everything out there. Their brain is trying to take it all in.
Yeah, that sounds about right!
You came to mind with this. I know a few people with ADHD and they have similar. There are also people on various spectrums that have some of these things too.
And I wonder if the cause is similar, where the brain is racing, getting pulled into "new attentions" unwillingly. For me it is trying to build that image, for you it is the brain constantly realigning interests.
You are probably right! Either way, it's a struggle. Being a mental health professional, my wife tries to help me as best she can, but 30 years of habits is tough to break!
I have to deliberately keep looking away occasionally when in conversation otherwise I tend to lizard stare people which makes them uncomfortable. But I have to keep monitoring their face and body as that's most of how the words they're saying makes sense.
But yeh otherwise it seems to be an indexing issue more than anything else.
Think my definition/usage of intuition is different from yours XP
Exactly like that.
:D
It could be worse.
Maybe it is time for mirrored glasses lenses? Then you wouldn't have to worry about your eye movements being misinterpreted.
Rather than being a liar, I would be a sleaze? ;D
Tell people it is to block the blue light from the digital screens. Then you could be a liar AND a sleaze!
lol
Or you could just be a Nexus 6
"If you could just look up and to the left please"
This made me laugh!
Mr. Taraz, without a doubt, according to NLP, the type of eye movement bypasses many pathologies, including that of the liar, unstable people, among other disorders.
We have been brought up and created to look at and listen to external voices and external commands, to adapt to the rules, and our eyes are responsible for carrying the information to memory and turning it into thoughts.
This information will only have a positive or negative response because it will depend on who interprets it.
With your neurologist who should be your attending physician, after the stroke two years ago, you can improve these involuntary movements with exercises.
Have a nice day.💚
I wonder if they track the eye movement of blind people, if they look in similar directions.
These particular movements are unlikely to be repaired, because if they are, I am not thinking.
In the case of blind people, they have learned to dare in time for their inner listening, it is a journey to the center of Being, to a deep, frank, and sincere self-knowledge. Where they recognize and embrace their strengths. They dive into their internal waters.
Involuntary movements, depending on the pathology, perhaps some with rehabilitation and physiatry, can improve. I speak from experience Mr. Taraz, I have been suffering from vertigo for years, and this has led me to have involuntary movements in the face, sometimes eyes, sometimes mouth, and with exercises I have learned to control them... this condition has improved significantly.
We say, his or her eyes look like a devil. That means it is possible that they can do anything negative to you, mostly deceiving.
When you meet a person with the "Devil's eyes", what do you see?
Sedition, self interest, selling someone down the river...
True devil eyes? Danger. If it's a picture it's one thing, in real life once you see it all your senses kick in and should be a delicate balancing act to find a way to back out away from them.
Wow I was just surprised with what you said about the memories which shows that it is placed in different angles of our brain when we try to remember things.
Try and pay attention to where your eyes move when people ask you questions.
What was the color of your favorite toy as a kid?
Yellow
What did your eyes do when thinking?
I was looking straight lol
But to be honest, I have seen many people who lie and you can tell by looking into their eyes that they are lying and dishonest. Because people don't get nervous when telling the truth, but when they lie, they lie with different eye gestures or using different tricks, and most of the time you can tell by looking at their eyes.
That is supposedly not quite the case. It isn't just the eye movements, but we have been taught that it is obvious when the eyes dart. However, how often do you know for sure?
Wait...
I think that is true. Apart from me noticing that from people, I have noticed that whenever I am trying to remember something, I am always looking sideways. I just noticed that today even though I have been doing it for years...hahaha
Such a nice discovery!
I am totally with you on how a person looks up, down, during a conversation. Memory recall and the most honest individuals will do that, because it's coming from memory. Especially in in-depth conversations, if it is a honest memory and not rehearsed they will rarely goof up.
Interesting conversation, the eyes are the pathway to a person's soul.
Muy cierto muchas cosas que dices... Los ojos son la ventana del alma.
My wife had her stroke on 6th June 2018.Her hope to regain is a big dream.We thank God she is alive.
Is there any organizations that help such persons who have been disabled by stroke?