We all f*ck-up sometimes. It’s important to remember that not even the wisest among us are perfect or infallible. Despite our best intentions sometimes we overindulge, hurt others, make bad and/or rash decisions that don’t quite work out as we planned.
We're all just two chromosomes away from chimpanzees. That singular fact is the great equalizer for me and is also a decent way to humble ourselves when we start feeling especially high and mighty.
What separates those who win more, enjoy life more, and generally f*ck up less are one thing, HABITS. These potentially life-altering habits are nothing more than a series of baby steps that are eventually incorporated into your daily routine. When you zoom in and just focus on the small changes that are necessary to create the larger improvement life seems a whole lot less daunting.
If you eat healthy most of the time, the occasional fast food burger isn’t going to do one bit of harm. If you get your ten-thousand steps in each day a lazy day on the couch isn’t going to set you back. If you try your best to be a good person all of the time, you will have less chaos in your life and people will be more likely to forgive you when you make a mistake.
The power of habits became apparent to me a few days ago while I was taking, what might be, my last bike ride of the cycling season.
This year I've managed to ride at least five times a week through all kinds of weather, the crispness of Minnesota's spring to the stifling heat of those hazy summer days.
...and as I was gliding through the vivid tunnels of luminous autumn color I couldn't help but start thinking about how many miles I must've ridden this year. When I got home I tallied it up I almost couldn't believe the number. In 2023 I've cycled a grand total of...
...684 miles. This is almost the distance between Minnesota and Ohio. I was genuinely surprised! It has to be some kind of personal record. None of the rides were especially long in distance but they still added up, quite significantly, over time.
This ordeal reminded me of the power habits have over our lives, for better and for worse. Every single thing of value in my life has come about from good habits -- writing, relationships, investing, health/fitness. It's never a bad time to take a deep inventory of daily routines and make some slight rebalancing to personal and professional goals and priorities.
"It has become clear to me that aging itself does not bring wisdom. It often brings regression to childishness, dependency, and bitterness over lost opportunities. Only those who are still intellectually, emotionally, spiritually growing inherit the richness of aging." ~James Hollis
I thought about how valuable it would be to set a reminder on my phone to come up twice a year, just three words, "Time to Rebalance". This will be a prompt, burned into my routine once in the spring and once in the fall to remind me to take stock of my personal and professional habits.
I wish you all a great weekend and leave you with this...
Good habits are immensely powerful and drastically reduce the frequency and severity of f*ck-ups.
Let's face it, at this moment our planet could handle a lot less f*cking-up from us extremely dysfunctional homo sapiens who, I remind you, are only two chromosomes away from chimpanzees. This only happens when each of us become self-aware and change our habits. This steps towards real change can begin today. It's time to rebalance. We are all so much more than the sum of our mistakes.
Thanks for reading! All for now. Remember…trust your instincts, invest in you, live boldly, and take chances.
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Poetry should move us, it should change us, it should glitch our brains, shift our moods to another frequency. Poetry should evoke feelings of melancholy, whimsy, it should remind us what it feels like to be in love, or cause us to think about something in a completely different way. I view poetry, and all art really, as a temporary and fragile bridge between our world and a more pure and refined one. This is a world we could bring into creation if enough of us believed in it. This book is ephemera, destined to end up forgotten, lingering on some dusty shelf or tucked away in a dark attic. Yet the words, they will live on in memory. I hope these words become a part of you, bubble up into your memory when you least expect them to and make you feel a little more alive.
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Jeesus, those colors just look unreal :O lucky you for having caught them (and been present enough to truly see them). Congratulations on the mileage, that's insane. I'm really happy for you, and it does seem like a great way to "stay fit" (more so, I think, than gym-ing).
So much truth and wisdom here. I'm finding this more, as I go, as well. And I find I like myself more when I'm in a good habit, rather than follow a strict diet/exercise program/whatever else, and just dying for them cheat days, you know? It's a complete mentality shift.
PS: If I saw one of those self-help books with the title of this post, I'd buy it. xD
This was absolute peak color, it's so bright it seems like it's lit from within! The maples are the only tree that really gets this bright. Thank you! I can't wait until I have room for a stationary bike, it's not the same but at least it would be something during the winter months.
You are so right! I feel infinitely better when I'm in a healthy routine. It's a construct that takes as much practice as meditation to build. After a while you begin to crave the healthier choices instead of the bad ones.
Lol, the GenX in me always second-guesses using that word except for "f*ckery" I use that one a whole lot, probably because of the state of the world we're in right now. : )
"We are what we repeatedly do." I must confess that I am not a person of many habits, but the ones I have, do me a lot of good. Perhaps one habit I should get back into is exercise. I would like to get back to my exercise routine. I remember I once had two brothers as students. One was very intelligent, brilliant; but the other had a hard time understanding and passing exams. However, the bright boy was very scattered, lazy; and the one who had a hard time being good, was very disciplined. He had a really incredible study routine. My surprise was when I found out that the not-so-smart boy had graduated before the other one. In the end, we don't achieve things because we can, but because we want to. Excellence is not an act but a habit. Greetings, my friend.
Your story about your students is such a poignant example of what I was talking about! I'm just the opposite, I'm probably a little too regimented in my routines/habits. As I get older, especially with traveling so much, it's relaxed me a little in regards to this. I don't get too discombobulated if my routine is disrupted anymore. Thank you, and I hope you have a wonderful weekend, Nancy!
Likewise Eric. I forgot to tell you that the colors in those images are so beautiful, even though I've never experienced autumn, I think I love it. Regards
Thanks! A trip to the New England states would be great if you'd like to experience autumn. I think Amtrack has a route where you can view all the fall colors.
Here's a link: https://www.amtrakvacations.com/vacation-types/fall-foliage
Thanks for the information, friend.
It always comes down to 'mastering' the fundamentals irrespective if we look at life, business, relationships or our health. It's those tiny things we do that stack up both in a positive and negative way leading us on two very different trajectories. Being agile, failing fast and adjusting quickly based on the feedback that we receive is crucial. This is how we gather knowledge and experience which can turn into wisdom if we learn from our own mistakes / failures and other peoples mistakes / failures.
This is crucial!
For sure! You have to come up with a framework that works for you and then be flexible enough to alter it when the environment changes...that's one reason I love Zen philosophy. Humans are actually pretty good at this.
It is quite amazing when you tot up the miles yo can do on a bike. I only use mine to cycle to the train station mostly when the weather is half decent, ie not raining but I was surprised by how many miles I was doing. Although its about a tenth of yours for the year!
That's so true. I think I was so surprised this year because I didn't do any especially long rides. Most years I do a few fifty-milers but that didn't happen in 2023. So you take the train to work?
Hello dear friend @ericvancewalton good morning
How great all the miles you have added, when you see it in a cumulative way, it is surprising what we do
I loved your post, it invites us to deep reflection. As my mother used to say, people are creatures of habit, referring to habits in all aspects.
It would be great to be able to stop every five months and evaluate our habits, and see the things that need a rethink.
I take this opportunity to wish you a splendid weekend
Thank you my friend! It's funny how those lessons are parents instilled in us take on new and deeper meaning as we get older! I wish you and your family a wonderful weekend.
Habits carried out since childhood will influence a person's success. So it would be very good to apply discipline and good habits to a child from a young age. The habit of cycling will of course make the body fresh and healthy. Have a nice day, Eric.
True! If we train ourselves when we're young it's much easier. I hope you enjoy the weekend Eliana!
I was spellbound seeing those beautiful colours. There's really nothing like autumn here. Just that the rains are beginning to lessen and all that.
There's nothing that catches me like an Amazing title and I love the big truths to this writing. The habits that make us. The mannerisms that build us and evidently save us.
Congratulations on your mileage dear Eric. You've done exceedingly well.
They're amazing but short-lived. Peak autumn color only lasts a week or two but if we have a hard freeze overnight most of the leaves drop instantly.
Thank you! I'm always a little sad to put the bikes away for the season.
Something everyone should remember we all get it wrong, quite often. Have to know right from wrong, stay healthy in body and mind to be able to assist ourselves when we do fall down.
Big relief in knowing when you wrong is admitting it. Well done with the cycling, little surprise when tallying up. Your reminder "Time to Rebalance" a good one to keep.
Undoubtedly! I think habits are how we improve our average. When I was younger I had the false notion that most adults "had life figured out" but as I've gotten older I see most don't. I don't even think life can be figured out in totality, because it's always changing. I think the only tools we have to work with are a set of habits, beliefs, maxims that we believe in and follow that help guide our decision making.
Taking ownership is HUGE. It's the only way we get better.
Thank you! I'm really going to miss those daily rides.
I think most flounder around forever learning. I miss daily walks, eventually went to weekly, currently not able to get out as often, most definitely does test one into finding ways to learn to keep going in a positive mind.
I think so too. I hope I never stop learning. I'm sorry you're not able to get out! My Mom's mobility isn't the greatest anymore, she has to use a walker for most things now.
My godfather had a saying "when you stop learning make sure your six foot deep is ready for you", I found it quirky when young, now realization set in properly, we never stop learning.
I miss being able to simply put a leash on the dog and go for a walk, now have to rely in going with someone for protection.... Tis life!
I also agree with, think same. Sometimes we do not want to hurt someone inspite of good attentions, we hurts them and also feels bad itself.
We have 46 chromosomes, 23 pairs. Champanze have 48 chromosomes ,24 pairs. But I think we are much sharper than all other creatures and that's why we are called as "The crown of all Creatures".
Sometimes I question if we really are smarter considering some of the messes we make! Lol. It's pretty amazing to me what other creatures can accomplish with so much less brain power.
Quite impressive, although I'm not a bike person myself :)) As for habits, I must admit that by using a step counter app I have become more mindful of my physical activity levels. Today I managed over 8,000 steps and that's not counting household chores. Good enough for a regular day!
Over here we've been promised decent weather for a few more weeks so I won't be going in winter mode yet...
Thank you! Cycling has always been my favorite form of exercise. The step counters are nice and 8,000 is respectable. What do you use to track your steps? I have an Apple Watch but am considering getting a smart ring because it'll be less distracting.
Nice, I wish we had a few more decent weeks! We already have snow in the forecast for early next week. : ( I'm never quite prepared for it.
That's awful! I'm looking forward to wearing sandals on Nov 1, which is rather unusual... not that I'm complaining or anything.
I'm never ready for it, I love the outdoors and feel like a caged animal during the winter. I was all excited because there were rumors of an El Nino, which means unseasonable warm weather. That was apparently wrong looking at the forecast.
The smart ring is my first step towards getting out of Apple's ecosystem. Their products have just gotten ridiculously expensive and are usually a good five years behind.
My biggest issue towards establishing good habits is lack of motivation I think. It's not that the motivation isn't there, but I have a hard time acting on it. I need that initial boost to get me going, then I can coast along pretty good :) That's a great idea about setting a reminder. I have a message on the lock screen of my phone that says "Be Nice", so everytime I go to open that it's what I see. It doesn't always work, but sometimes it does!
I have the same problem with certain things, @bozz. I'm learning to play the guitar and it just seems so daunting that sometimes I let days go by without doing my lesson. Now I'm just trying to focus more on accomplishing that daily lesson instead of the huge task of learning how to play and it's made it easier. It's all a matter of getting into the groove, I guess.
Haha, you sound like me. I tried learning to play the guitar a long time ago, then I got into World of Warcraft and I let it slide. Now years later I still have the desire to learn, but not so much the motivation!
There are so many distractions! I've had a hard time taking the breaks during our travels too. If you don't practice every day you lose the callouses and the skills.
I was just starting to get the callouses.
Sometimes back, I remember how I always suffered from the feeling of guilt and condemnations whenever I did something I didn't want to do. But one of the things this year has taught me is the ability to look beyond my mistakes knowing fully well I am human and sometimes mistakes are bound to happen. In fact we human we are not perfect and so we are bound to make mistake but it is the ability for us to overcome the mistake that makes us unique not the mistakes overcoming us.
That’s an important lesson. Mistakes are going to keep happening (with all of us) it’s what we do with those mistakes is what really matters.
Perfectly said. Instead of lamenting over mistakes, we should learn from mistakes
I used to have great habits. Everything was put in its place, and if it didn't have a place, I made one for it. I had a strict schedule, time to practice, to exercise, to work, to cook, to give homework help, bath times, read bedtime stories. Now, as I age, I kinda like f**king up; I go places I never imagined I would go, and learn a tremendous amount in the process. People are less critical of me.
Take stock of my accomplishments? That would be depressing for me, I get so little concrete done these days. I'd rather take stock of my screw ups.
I can relate. I'm not as uptight as I used to be about certain habits, I actually look forward to them but don't feel out of balance if I miss a few days. It's not really life without spontaneity. : )
True, true and nothing but the true... :)
It is exactly the same as we see today that people are traveling in cars and not cycling, so it is wrong. Cycling is very good for human health and we all should ride a bike. It is exactly like that, at some point of time a person starts to be completely worried due to the problems of his life and does not behave well with people and also talks to people in a rude manner, but I have to say here that when If a person realizes, he should apologize to these people because these are the special people who have made our life good and the good thing is that such people do not even mind our words.
Agreed! I always feel so much better when I cycle!
Yeah it's best for our health.
Sweet colors!
Yeah that is a lot of riding. It is basically 500 miles from where I moved from in Michigan to now in Virginia... and that is a long drive lol.
This sign I keep right in front of me as a reminder!
It was surprising but it was rarely more than ten miles a day. Love that sign! There is never a shortage of dumbfuckery! Lol.
As our body tends to laziness, we should keep up such habits, imo.
As humans we aren't perfect in what we do that is why we need to take caution and become better in what we do.
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