Son, I need to talk to you.
The text popped up on my phone from my mum.
I stared down at it. A sense of unease prickling up and down my back. I wasn't a teenager masturbating in the bathroom anymore so messages like this tended to fill me with a sense of foreboding.
A million and one things filled my head. Both my Mum and my Dad were getting on a bit and to be honest, their health is not the best.
I quickly dialled her number.
Hello son.
She said cheerily.
What is it you need to talk about Mum? Everything ok?
Oh son. I will tell you when you come down for a visit.
Tell me now, mum.
No no. Don't be daft. You know I don't like the phone.
This is true. My parents come from an era where people hold phones like they are vicious serpents ready to bite. I tried to convince her to talk but she was having none of it.
My imagination was going into overdrive. I knew my brother had been in Hospital lately. Was that it? My Dad had a new hobby of falling over randomly and bashing his head. Was that it? Oh dear. Too many things to consider.
My family are an odd bunch at times. They never want to make a fuss. Which is why I get concerned when they act a bit mysterious. I am half worried that I will pop up for a visit one day and they will tell me I missed my dad's funeral earlier in the week.
Well, I'm missing nothing. I hopped in the car and decided to pay a surprise visit.
In no time at all, I was at their door.
My Dad answered and ushered me in.
You working the day?
He asked merrily.
No, you know I don't work Mondays.
I said it every time but it never stuck. He ushered me into the front room.
I am glad you are here, your Mum's got something to tell you.
My insides turned to ice. This must be bad. I steeled myself for some horrible news. My mum was sitting on the couch looking a little frail when I went in. I could almost see the grim reaper standing in a corner of the room.
Oh hello son, this is a nice surprise!
Yes indeed, I was passing and I thought, what is it Mum wanted to tell me? So I thought I would pop in.
She shook her head and chuckled.
There was no need but... You are here now. Take a seat. I have something to tell you.
I felt a sob bubble up from deep down. Oh man, please don't be terrible news, I thought desperately, despite having that awful sense that it was going to be.
My Mum reached under the table and pulled out a slightly grease-stained 16-inch pizza box. She turned to me, her eyes alight with pleasure and amazement.
See that new Pizza shop that opened at the bottom of the street? They do a "Munchy Box" for 10 pounds. Look at it. Look!
She opened the box and showed me cold greasy leftovers lurking about within.
She pointed at something that looked like a battered goat's penis, then moved her finger over the rest of the box.
Chicken pakora, mushroom pakora, kebab meat, battered sausage, black pudding and chips!
She shook her head in wonderment.
Is that not amazing?!
She said.
I looked at the Munchy Box and then at her in astonishment. My Dad came in at that moment with a cup of tea.
What do you make of it, son? Look at all that meat. For a tenner! Bloody amazing.
I shook my head in slight disbelief.
Aye, that is truly amazing.
Old Bastards.
Sometimes, they just need to see you personally. Maybe you need to get them use video call on the phone or something like skype.
Oh how I wish they could. That's the thing though they are too old and resistant to change to adopt any tech. They don't have WiFi!
That is amazing!!
I wish I had parents like yours, mine just bore me with a truckton of catastrophies. Boring!
Did you get a photo of you with the munchie box?
Hehe, no, I was scared to touch the horrible thing. It was literally sodden with animal fat!!
Was quite a bargain for a tenner though I must admit, lol!!
Shocking! You don't say! I certainly could not have guessed that from you...lool
Well at least it isn't death. I will simply stand up and leave while laughing at myself
I was rather relieved it wasn't death myself. I do wish they would just fess up on the phone though to prevent my brain going into overdrive!!
It is amazing that parents now worry you when you used to worry them. The tables have turned. I missed my dad's funeral by the way and my father in laws. That was an odd mistake though. We were told a time and it changed and no one told us. All worked out well but I took the blame for the family's cock up. No one told me honest lol.
Kings, that's a horror and no mistake. It's my far that they will genuinely tell me something like that after the fact. They have never gotten to grips with me going off to work in an office instead of in a bin. So now they hesitate to trouble me withtrifling things!
Trifling things to you but that is what rocks their world now. Pizza from down the road.
Yeek, I didn't mean trifling to me. I meant they think they are trifling to me, lol.
Every day above sod is a good day!!!
But, to leave a son in suspense like that might accelerate their journey below the sod.
I agree. If above, all well!!
Parents and their things se dice que de tal arbol esta la astilla @meesterboom
You are very similar to your parents, it would be amazing to talk to them, I would not stop laughing.
I like the part where you say that the phones are like a snake for them hehehe.
my grandmother is like that
It's so true! They hold it like it is their most bitter enemy!
Yes, oh nooooooooo! it's as if they thought the phone was going to eat them
my good grandmother finds it hard to use it, how do you use that?
this does not work! Well, ellos y sus cosas
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG I can't believe this! You were mentalizando to receive the worst news in the world and just wanted to talk about pizza HAHAHAHA no doubt you have a fantastic parents
They did take me quite by surprise!!
Priorities shift when you grow older, I suppose.
They do! Oh they do! You're back, sort of! Are you back?
Still can't be bothered to post here, what with the state of curating and other goings-on, but it feels weird to read things and not comment.
So I commented.
I did make some test posts on this Steemit clone called Weku, just to see what's what. It seems somebody, probably Noganoo, already registered your name there. You can use this referral link if you want to register there and call him a prick: https://deals.weku.io/pick_account?referral=ocrdu . It will also give me many Wekus, whatever those may be.
I thank you for your comment. It's good to know you are still here in that respect! Have you contemplated steem-ua or read up on that?
Read up, yes. Anything is better than the rep thing we have now, but I don't like it much they stuck a voting bot onto it.
PS. I edited the comment above.
I saw the edit, I read a post in which it said that many names had been claimed by someone or someone's.
Fortunately they have to be fast to claim mine! Although it might just be that I ain't important enough for a spammer to get in first.
The voting bot and the big delegators payouts isn't ideal. I wonder if it's something we will look back on and shake our heads. On saying that I did delegate so I have a cheek
Is this you then, or were they indeed fast? https://deals.weku.io/@meesterboom
Wow!!! The “We need to talk” or “I have something to tell you” imply a topic way more pressing than the great food deal down the road. The funniest part is the required visit in order to share this monumental news. After all that how can you be frustrated? Just go with the flow. I hope you bought the special on the way home.
I would have called ahead and they could have bought a hot one for me to sample!!
I have a son that does that. Teases you along before he drops the shoe! Must have learned that from his grandparents...🤨🤔🙄 But I think if he ever called me over for a munchy box ...🔫🤯💢
Hehe, yeah, it's just not right!!!!! I will be having a word with them!
I went into a one on one meeting with a former boss one day while i was at my job. The person that was over my boss was also there "To lend emotional support." I thought I was being fired. Turns out, they just wanted me to try and handle my time better at work so I could get more tasks done. Yeah. Thanks for the chat. Thought I was being fired. :-P
Lol, I dunno, that would still have sent chills down my spine thinking. They're watching me!!!
Well now we know where the Boom humor originates. The apple does not fall far from the tree, it seems. A munchy box is truly something to be shared in person and never over the phone! I mean, who knows who's listening over the phone right? Probably, The Man.
The man is always listening!!
Hehe, on that topic though. I do believe I get my sender if humour from my dad, an awfully funny man!!
When the news of the day is a Munchy Box, that is a day to be grateful for, hahahaha!!
Quite extraordinary eh!! Lol!
An anti-climax box. But at least things are okay, no funeral missed or stuff like that. A tenner for a meat stuffed box, sounds like a real bargain. That black pudding though, yech, not even if I was payed a tenner to eat it.
I am with you on the black pudding. Its a horror fest!!!
HA! That's awesome! First off, I'm glad they are not dying. Second, how far did you have to drive to be told about the new pizza delight? :-D
It's a twenty/twenty five minute drive. Not too far but far enough to be a pain in the arse!!
Wow!!!! What a nerve-wracking surprise by your parents. You thought it was something horrible only to be met with a pizza which your parents like. It was hilarious! Upvoted!
It was quite the surprise that's for sure!!
Hooray, the trick worked. We got the young fella over for a visit, with work and his own family, he runs out of time for the oldies.
Quick, down to the shop and find something else to show him.
Haha, now that you put it that way ..!
Been thinking of it myself.
Glad to see it worked on you.
Just hope the Good Ladies Oldies don't catch on,
There will be nobody at home all the time, just happy oldies.
The littlies will enjoy getting spoiled as well, they will be all for it.
I am hoping the good lady's oldies don't catch on, they live in another city!
My younger ones are 2 hours away, maybe best if I don't pull it to often.
Yeah, you might get a head concussion!!!
Much better to exchange emails, skype, etc.
My health stays better that way.
Oh thats fabulous XD I know the feeling, every time my father calls I assume someone is dead.... its about 50/50 between death and nonsense at this point which is a vast improvement
Hehe. Yeah it's still when it gets like that but I am the same
@meesterboom Your parents are great dear friend, they are very similar to mine. How good that you traveled and get rid of the doubts that it was, it would have been worse to spend a week with the intrigue, but the torment of what will be?
Thank you very much for sharing your life stories
I wish you a beautiful night
I think it is the age we are getting to @jlufer that makes us worry so!
well now I'm not so sure... you have the parents that like to drag things out,and won't tell you what's up, my mother, she gets on the phone for something that should take all of thirty seconds, and a half hour later I'm on the other end of the line trying to stay awake.
Oh to get mine too stay on the phone for longer than 1 minute would be quite extraordinary! Don't think I could take half an hour right enough, lol!
haha! just wait sonny....one day you kids will think you're nuts too!
Your dad's "new hobby of falling over randomly and bashing his head. "
hahaha! If this is true then I take my laughter back!
great job sir.
Lol. That day will come I am sure of it! Hopefully I don't fall over all the time!
haha! nahh..let's just hope you're still writing as well sir meesterboom!
That would be a fine thing!
This must be how my child feels lately - I see her roll her eyes when we get excited over things and apparently we are being like teenagers again - laughing about things that are not funny, having too much fun since we are getting old bla bla bla whaaaaaaaatever. Shame but good of you to go to your parents and how lucky are you to still have them around.
I do feel very lucky to have them. Although sometimes they can be infuriating we do laugh. Laughing is the key to everything isn't it!
True that - even if it is at ourselves sometimes.... I tend to do that a lot because I am loosing my mind more and more - no wonder my child treats me as though I am 80 hahaha
Ha, I bet your mind is still as sharp as a whip!
Hahaha thank you, sometimes I amaze myself - in both directions - being sharp and forgetful....
hahahahahaha :) So you told me to come over here....for this? haha :)
Exactly!! I was like what!?! Mouldy old meat I'm a box!!!
hahahaha how far away do they live? please tell me it was less then a 30 minute drive, and not like 4 hours or something. haha
Lol! Thankfully it was just under thirty minutes. Maybe 25 :0)
lol okay that isn't too bad. haha
YEah, otherwise there would have been hell to pay!
LOL I bet. :) "Here let me see that pizza!" Smash, one pizza sticking to the side of the wall...walks out of the house. hahaha kidding, I know you would never do that to your parents....Uncle Boom on the other hand...well...
great & impressive
Cheers!
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mmm lunch