last thing: re the not knowing if it is your stuff to change or not.
If anyone makes you feel "bad" about yourself - that's a no right there. If you find some groups and people cause this - that's a no. Walk away. Find your people. Your people will uplift you and engage healthily and not make you think there is something "wrong" with you or it is all your fault.
See?
You will find you naturally thrive with the healthy people and you bottom out with the toxic ones. There's your answer. It doesn't matter what they say. Or what anyone says. The proof is in your balance and health when you are around them.
How they make you "feel". Do not listen to what people say so much, okay? Because the toxic systems and people run on dishonesty. You can't believe words. You can believe your experience.
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I wish I'd known that. Again. Better late than never.
" Finding your people " could be...ok, I wouldn't necessarily say dangerous,but for sure could be blinding. You endup surrounding yourself with people that say,chant and asskissing each other,and that will keep your thinking just in one direction. It's no different then joining a book reading club,a cult ,gang,a religion or a political party... I learned that over the years,don't take my word for it,just my 2 cents...
Ohh, I do get to see it happening right here,with tribes/communitys...90% asskissing
Hmm. I don't know. Not always. I think you can learn to tell, if you're half self-aware, when it's blatant asskissing, and when they're being genuine. I think your people can be extremely grounding, in the sense that they could also help keep you on the right track.
Seems to me it's about finding people you're on the same vibration with, not necessarily people you agree with 100%. On the contrary. If I meet someone whose opinions and general ethics I respect a great deal, they may expose me to new ideas/views on topics we don't agree with. But I don't think everyone gets that, and a lot of people do end up muddled in asskissy echo chambers...
It might sound mean...but I can't wait for you to get older...just wait!
Shit change...you will be like wow, plenty..