meet me at the place
where we hit a dead end
in the woods I lead you into
to steal a kiss that day
I hesitated in the awkward silence
because I wasn’t there
and I thought you weren’t either
yet
a regret
now
and then I lost my way
for another year or two
but I did look for you
to say
I’m
sorry
I fell in love when I looked
at your shoes accidentally
so you did too
with sweet uncertainty
by the way
my favourite colour is blue.
have you figured out
by now
that I don’t care
what shoes you wear?
but you cared about mine
and that made me smile
I fell in love with you
the moment
you looked disappointed
I may go
I had to because
you made me want to stay
I fell in love with
your open heart hello
to a stranger
for free
there ain’t much better
than a good smile for me
you said I would fall
in love
with you
madly
silly
boy
I already had
by watching you
Be You
in between the not us
what a waste
of good time
you said that you
are shallow
one time too many
for it to be true
I don’t believe you.
you gave yourself away
I saw right
through your shades
but I forgot how you look
because I never saw your eyes
still, I looked for you
for a while
I felt you instead
and you felt good
even though you don’t believe it yet
and I told you so
you made me want to
care about you
and I didn’t have
the time
back
then
You lied.
I saw it.
you double checked
to see if I would do it too
I don’t
but I did to protect you
Omission, avoidance,
accusatory
challenges
and distraction
aren’t we
clever?
I wanted you
altogether
too much
and that scared the fuck outta me
there —
I said it.
you told me
you had money
and I’m not
even sure why
now I know more
but I still don’t get it
do you know
enough by now
to know I don’t care
about your wallet or your fucking khakis?
I’m looking for the things
that money just can’t buy
you can’t fit what I want in
a safety deposit box
or secure it in a hot bit
of quick oblivion
Trust me -
I’ve tried.
and I’m not gonna
carry your baggage for you
even if it is
Louis Vitton
but I’ll take care
of mine
are you ready
to believe me?
are we there
yet?
maybe it’s never
the right time
people want an answer
finite. secure.
safe. always.
mine.
all I can
promise you
is neither of us is going
to be around forever
I should have kissed you
in the woods that day
because we’ve wasted
too much fucking time
getting ready
all ready
no one is ever
ready for this.
so just meet me at the place where we got lost
you can try to be you and
I’ll try to be me
again
maybe we can hold hands and
share a milkshake this time
we both know the rest is a given
if we still want such
things as familiar as the homes
we don’t wanna remember much.
Time enough you can see in the dark
but it doesn’t make it right
so let’s just cut
the shit
and come naked
and afraid
I like you best when you
are You
like
that
and that would be
something new
huh?
Photo by Felipe Almeida from Pexels — edited by writer
Possibly one of the loveliest love declarations I've read. Ever. I feel this one deeply (though belatedly, by grace of a mutual friend sharing it, apparently). Every syllable is so raw, and I adore that in a writer. You can tell every bit of this was felt intensely. I love the ending, too. IT's so un-poem-y (in a traditional poem sense, at least) that it's extraordinarily poetic. If that makes sense. <3 I know you're still creating beauty, I hope you continue to do so, and I'm glad to have found you in the meantime (between you writing this and now). <3 Have a lovely weekend.
What a great creative soul you are. This comment is a poem in and of itself. Thank you, beautiful 😍
Glad we met along the way as well. I'm taking some sunshine and barefoot paths at the moment but will always find you to visit and see what you're making.
Yes. We must create or lose our souls!
I found a pattern I want to knit this morning if you can believe it. I know, right? But I have an idea and it must be unleashed. And I know fuckall about knitting. Reads like a foreign language. Lots to learn!
Please do keep me in the loop with your personal journey if you feel like it. Or not. The better part of a journey towards individuation must be done alone... but here if you wobble, okay?
Sending love and warmth 💕 :)
<3 barefoot in the sunshine sounds pretty good.
Really? That's so cool, that you just get an idea and go with it. Rock on ;) Hoping you share it here when it's done, and here's to many more. Who knows, knitting might prove to be a great love.
I'm glad you say that. Only earlier, I was contemplating it. To be fair, I got very triggered by even the idea I might have trauma. It was like, what, me? Never. But I've been doing a lot of introspection, and a lot of journaling since we last talked, and the more I dig, the more surprising things I'm finding about myself. That moment when a piece of the puzzle falls into place, and you wonder how come you never saw it before, you know?
So yeah, I was wondering how much can be done alone. Because I do feel like I'm moving towards something, but then, I wonder, what if I'm just lying to myself? What if it's some subconscious thing that's telling me what I wanna hear, to then conveniently sweep it under the rug?
I don't know, but I did want to tell you how much I appreciated our interaction, and your input and compassion the other day. See, I had this sort of knee-jerk 'no' reaction to the suggestion I might be traumatised/suffering somehow. Except, the last time that happened, the person suggesting it was not a good person, quite insistent on the matter, and really manipulative. Still, while I severed ties, the question remained ~ what if that person really meant well, as they said, and I misunderstood?
Talking to you, I got to see what that suggestion looks like as honest, genuine care input (not self-serving, or duplicitous in any way). I got to see that yeah, I read that situation right, and it was good to know that.
Seriously, though, I appreciate all this a great deal <3 I hope to be able to pass on that same light someday to someone who may need it. Thank you <3
last thing: re the not knowing if it is your stuff to change or not.
If anyone makes you feel "bad" about yourself - that's a no right there. If you find some groups and people cause this - that's a no. Walk away. Find your people. Your people will uplift you and engage healthily and not make you think there is something "wrong" with you or it is all your fault.
See?
You will find you naturally thrive with the healthy people and you bottom out with the toxic ones. There's your answer. It doesn't matter what they say. Or what anyone says. The proof is in your balance and health when you are around them.
How they make you "feel". Do not listen to what people say so much, okay? Because the toxic systems and people run on dishonesty. You can't believe words. You can believe your experience.
<3
<3
I wish I'd known that. Again. Better late than never.
" Finding your people " could be...ok, I wouldn't necessarily say dangerous,but for sure could be blinding. You endup surrounding yourself with people that say,chant and asskissing each other,and that will keep your thinking just in one direction. It's no different then joining a book reading club,a cult ,gang,a religion or a political party... I learned that over the years,don't take my word for it,just my 2 cents...
Ohh, I do get to see it happening right here,with tribes/communitys...90% asskissing
Hmm. I don't know. Not always. I think you can learn to tell, if you're half self-aware, when it's blatant asskissing, and when they're being genuine. I think your people can be extremely grounding, in the sense that they could also help keep you on the right track.
Seems to me it's about finding people you're on the same vibration with, not necessarily people you agree with 100%. On the contrary. If I meet someone whose opinions and general ethics I respect a great deal, they may expose me to new ideas/views on topics we don't agree with. But I don't think everyone gets that, and a lot of people do end up muddled in asskissy echo chambers...
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beautiful poem.
I can relate to this on so many levels.
Okay, my brain is done for today, and my body is too. Have a wonderful Monday Morning when you get up to face the day head-on.
Thank you :)
This person taught me a great deal even though I lost him in the woods... or probably because of that.
Up and at it. It was a slow start... because slow and steady wins the race. I hope you got some rest, beautiful human <3
Good Morning :D
First, I had listened to your song you made..the matrix one and told my brother from another mother @IntheNow about it. He should be stopping by and he knows all the music peeps on Hive and I told him about you.
2nd, has to wait a bit...cuz need to get my thoughts in order before I write what I am thinking :D
Oh, but 3rd.... Yes, we are a lot alike.... LOLLLL
Also found the latest one he posted... yeah!
You guys are really making me want to create more stuff. It's inspiring. Thanks :)
I'm .... like ... coming down from mainstream social media... it feels as though I"m slowly decompressing and changing gears here. Wonderful, really!
God. What a waste of time! Glad I found this now
Hive is what you make it. Your account and this Blockchain is free for you to use. Make the best of it and if you treat it right it gives back tenfold.
Keep looking straight ahead. Many Bests are right around the corner if you relax and just be YOU.
HUGS!
Sister... I"m starting to feel as though I can breathe again a bit at last.
A GREAT sign you are exactly where you needed to be at this point in your life.
Now THAT made my day!!
Thank you for that
Thank you, angel! :)
I'd love to meet fellow music lovers.
I'm a novice but would love to connect and learn more
Gratitude for connecting us 💃
Thank you! I'm reserving comment until I've heard it.
I need headphones for this. Old laptop and dodgy sound. So Will find them on Soundcloud on the app and be back
it might not be to your taste but it is the first song @InTheNow and I did together. So I am very proud of it. He is really a music genius. But it also is a perfect example of spreading my wings here on Hive.
I just listened to it! 😮
I REALLY like what happened there and you have a GREAT voice!
I've saved it in my library on Soundcloud in fact. Very original!
Thanks for sharing that with me.
:D You are very welcome!!
I had so much fun making it. I am so happy you liked it
Now I have to actually log in to FB for the first time today to share this.
I listened to it again. And again
Also... there's an artist and poet on Medium that should hear this so...
WOW! Thank YOU!
and I am sorry you have to go to FB....
Yeah... I blame you entirely :)
The pleasure really is all mine!
And I had missed a friend trying to get hold of me for the last couple of days so... it was good I popped in!
They have my number now. And hopefully will just come here at some point
I hope your friends come play with you too :D
Its fun to all learn together
I will shoulder the blame of you relaxing and having fun LOLL
Now I have to actually log in to FB for the first time today to share this.
I listened to it again. And again
Also... there's an artis poet on Medium that should hear this so...
Saving for when I can hear it on the phone 'cause the broken iron man headphones don't connect to the dodgy laptop! 😆
But I swear... this is too weird. Because I want to enter the "Shadow Hunters" contest and couldn't find anything around here. It's also winter so not many shadows - everything is a bit grey.
So I decided to photograph one of the only things I kept when I gave my old life away. For real.
I'll tag you in it when I upload the photo.
It's uncanny though. There seems to be some synchronicity happening here now as well <3
I hope this helps. <3
Priority #1
Write one post every day.
Answer comments on your posts.
Priority #2
the rest.
Free weekends are great for catching up.
Remember, You are your own Boss.
This blog is all yours to do what you want with it.
This should be fun.
Relax and enjoy the ride.
Blockchains move slowly.
XoX
Okay for thought number 2.
I have found in life that we can never really go back even if we want to.
we learned and grew too much for anything to be as it was. We think differently, we feel different, and act a tad different too.
Now just because I found it impossible to go back and try it again doesn't mean it can not happen but I have seen and felt deep loves like you describe above. I think they come into our lives when most needed. We learn the lessons we needed to and got to fly close to the sun for a while but when reality hits it was never something that could be lived over a long period of time.
I will forever be grateful I do know the feeling of love that you have described above. Felt it more than once. Yet on both occasions when trying to meet again the past always got in the way and it wasn't fun in the end.
I learned from these times that looking back is needed to remember what you needed to learn. Yearning for the past only makes living in the present that much harder. Does make for great poems and songs though. XoX
If by chance your paths naturally cross again that is something different. If you go looking for what once was is where you can run into trouble and oh so much hurt.
You are not the same person that lived through the poem above. You learned too many other life lessons to be and they too have lived and learned and are not the same person they once were.
Anyway, for what it is worth these thoughts wanted to be shared. :D
Ah.... thank you, angel :)
Yes... I pined for some time and looked and waited for a long time too. I've done that for people I've met that resonated with me. Not many. But a few.
Thing is... in a way I was hoping to be rescued in some way or avoiding committing to life in another. It's a fantasy. A way of staying in one place that's "safe" in fact.
In the last short while I've decided to go it along for the next while and commit to myself for a change. I've been single for three years now. Not dated. Stay isolated. And have done quite a bit of soul searching, deep meditation, asceticism and have become strong in a way that is hard to "match" now, I guess.
I think when you get used to being alone in many ways it becomes hard to let go of. I enjoy my solitude too much these days. It gives me time to create as well... and just be.
But it is only now... after three years... I am really starting to appreciate it if that makes any sense. Like. I'm happy in it even if it is a bit lonely at times. The freedom I would not exchange for anything.
I do wish I had met someone I could have made a life with for 26 years! That must be some adventure! Wow. But I've never been ready, I think. And when I may have been someone else interfered and we los each other in the chaos.
But for now... I feel as though I'm really only stepping into my true power and nature at the age of 51. Always men. And women at times. But always others that helped me avoid myself and got me pretty lost. I focused on them and forgot myself.
I think it's time I focused on my own dreams and ambitions for a while! :)
You seem so young. But so wise too. I can't quite make you out. You're an interesting human, Snook!
No truer words have ever been written!!
I am 58 and started getting white hair at 16. My husband calls it life when people are shocked how my hair is solid pure white.
I am shocked to say I have been married 26 years. LOLL but it being Monday....I think the topic of marriage should not be discussed today. :D
😆
Oh wow! I thought you were a whippersnapper. Your energy is super light and full power. Love it!
You hair sounds amazing. I'm considering shaving mine off at this stage... new beginnings. And a commitment to a path and lifestyle for the next while anyway. I'll totally make a video if I do.
I think marriage should be discussed more. People seem to think it's a fairy tale ending and that's probably why so many marriages don't last! It's a beautiful thing... two people making that kind of commitment.
I would do it again. Just without the ceremony and legalities.
I have a friend that says I am a true Aquarius.
She is correct on many things so I trust she is correct on this point too.
Not sure that means anything to you or not...
Oh. I try to study everything for myself. Curious by nature!
So yes it does :) But I try not to define myself with labels too much these days.
I'm not learned enough about astrology to have yet figured out wether that impacts my personality or whether if I name myself something I become that personality if that makes sense?
Having said that I've always mostly been drawn to other Virgos, Gemini and Aquarius... so that's pretty interesting to observe :)
it does :D It is why if I need to write something or do something I will first try it on my own before looking to see how others might have tackled doing the same thing. Also why I never Google illnesses. LOL
as for astrology...it is not something I went out to learn.. My friend, whom I met here, did it for a living and she made it interesting to learn about. We would have long talks and discussions about it. I did learn a lot from her. But to go out and seek others' advice? No
Her husband died suddenly this past year and I have not heard from her since then. I miss her and worry about her. I miss her wisdom too. But she needs her time alone. I just hope and pray she is reaching out to others so she doesn't waste away.
Anyway...
I am by no means an expert at it and do not have the wanting to learn more. I think I am just missing my dear friend and hoping she is okay.
I think part of getting older is you start to realize how smart you are. You stop looking towards others for your answers and start looking inside yourself, at your strengths and weaknesses, and begining to realize just how strong you really are and how you can do anything if it makes you happy and if something doesn't make you happy you Can just stop doing it.
It's a liberating feeling that gets better the more you have faith in yourself and how strong you really are.
Okay I am off to try and sleep.
Happy Tuesday!!
And no... one can never go back... not after a certain point. You're right! <3
This is a pretty amazing poem, nickydee.
Poignant, rich, heartfelt, reflective, introspective, not to mention the structure and form which I can see was very carefully thought out.
... you write poetry...like I love to read and write poetry 🤗
Let's see... you are friends with @julianhorack ...and looking forward to seeing him in person...and he is on the Garden Route... might you also be South African?
!LUV !ALIVE !LADY
Thank you. This one is special to me.
I love poetry as well. I don't write it much because I love it so much in fact. I'm not really a poet 😊
occasionally things happen that keep me up at night. Writing helps. I find this kind of format (Poetry I guess but I've read so much poetry and studied the classics as a part of my degree I hesitate to call myself one) helps express it and let it go without me having to explain too much.
Writing is hard sometimes, huh? Poetry, music and art can be a simper way to express things at times. With writing, I sometimes don't even know how to put into words what it is I want to say.
Yeah. J and I go way, WAY back... but that's a story. I'm busy writing it in fact but then I got sidetracked and well... it's pretty awesome on here. And very inspiring! ❤️
I've found your blog. I'm in. Thanks for connecting! (Literature nut here. And there's some great stuff there at first glance...) I'm trying to catch up with notifications so I can go and absorb it!
I find writing very cathartic, and I also don't write poetry as much as I would like to... but when it happens it sometimes works out well. There is just something about poetry that captures a part of us that often falls through the cracks of prose. Have always loved studying poetry and lit. I am trying to get back to writing more regularly... my kind of writing... short stories, poetry, discursive essays... been a busy few months though.
If you'd like some help finding your way into the Dreemport server where a bunch of us dreemers live ...erm hang out hehe... check out our discord server out... it is quiet in there sometimes because people may be writing, but can get super engaging and fun at times too. There is almost always some community engagement challenge on the go too!
And if you'd like to find out more about how to use Dreemport, which is a curation platform with rewards powered by Hive, you can check this link out... How do I use Dreemport? it's easy!
And see if you fancy coming to visit... and maybe staying a lot longer than you had planned 😂
Give me or @dreemsteem a shout if you decide to pop your head in to say hi or need any help navigating... 🤗
!PIZZA
Copy that. I|m busy getting au fait with Dreemport as we chat. I started in earnest today and it's all leading that way.
See you there and here and everywhere.
Write more poems and literature please!
Fabulous! I'll see you on the flip side then🤗 !ALIVE
You will ❤️
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I'm an unchoped kind of person and reading this made me human... I couldn't comment the day I read it 10 times...all I could do is a Repost and I'm glad @honeydue did stop and read it,but....this would never had been written if it was a success! So after a day almost 2 I'm wondering if I should be smiling that there's people alive(you)that could write such raw beauty,or .... I'm more sadden because what you had to suffer to write it...If I care about you, I find that I can't enjoy the poem! It involved pain, suffering... I'm sorry for your pain!
ah... this one is my favourite too. I will write about this more one day. I actually have already written this part of the journey... just unreleased. It hasn't been the right time. Yet.
It my own fault. My own shadow. I chased him off because I was scared. One of my biggest regrets :/