Moving Past Bitterness to Abundance

in #deepshit6 years ago (edited)

I believe in abundance theory. Scientifically, I know that matter is not created or destroyed it is just recycled. I can feel that I am an energetic being capable of recycling the negative emotions/energy I experience instead of just spitting them back into the world. I know that we are all co-creators and that this world is our playground.

I've been fairly lucky in that I haven't often experienced bitterness for very long, I have tried and failed so many things but I mostly feel a golden goose type calm towards money or creativity: if one egg or all of them got lost or stolen or used up, I can lay another. I can hustle and work and try new things. I have been homeless and also had times of plenty. I can't pretend like I have coasted through all of those times without feeling pride or despair, but in the back of my mind I could reasonably see that none of it was where I had landed permanently.

I have always been aware that there is a thread of bitterness that is woven throughout our societal structure, inherent in the pure capitalistic notion that each person gets what they work for. I see it most clearly in common political arguments: "I worked hard to get a job that pays $15 an hour, fast food workers don't deserve that" or " My sister struggled to pay her college debts, we can't just give it for free". I even think that bitterness is the more prominent roadblock in our attempt to normalize abundance than the actual idea of scarcity. Even when there is obvious abundance (the amount of food we throw away is disgusting and disheartening- check out @Reko for his beautiful rescue and share operations) it seems we still don't respect it because of bitterness. Why should I grind at a job I hate to buy food and then we just give away extras to people who don't. Its spite, pure and simple, and it is a parasite on our happiness.

I recently became the victim of a deep seeded bitterness, like I had never felt before. Last year we lost our partner store, and our eliquid company. We weren't rich, but we worked hard, and I felt good when I went to the store and helped people pick out herbs that brought them relief, or helped someone kick a smoking habit and see them start hiking or run a 5 k for the first time. To add insult to injury, just as we lost everything I was hurt by someone very close to me, a creative partner and one of the people I love most in this world. I felt abandoned and taken advantage of. I always share my golden eggs, but it seems the thieves came and took every last glittery speck. I was angry at the political systems where large companies pay to have the laws tweaked to suit them, and the voraciously devour every small business just minding their own and making a living. I was angry at being treated like I was just there to give out goodies, and when I needed a hand those goody takers were acting like I was brand new. The worst part is I started to actually feel angry and annoyed by other people's successes. It wasn't like me and it destroyed not only my day to day joy (I usually truly feel other's joy as my own), but it blocked me and I didn't feel that normal problem solving and creativity flowing. I just felt bad. And sort of mean, like a grinch making snide comments to myself about people's level of deserving.

The thing was, that my opportunities for abundance never stopped coming, I just ignored them. Like a cartoon, I was just watching the dust trail of the things I had lost, and absentmindedly shooing the gift givers that kept tapping me on the shoulder.

Shedding that bitterness was incremental. I was aware of it for months but couldn't shake it. I had a lot of love and support from friends and family, and I searched for ways to be happy again. @Whatamidoing had a post about being stuck and that conversation showed me the ways in which I was stuck and yet was also unstuck- I just needed to wriggle a bit more to get free lol. @MarianneWest has a daily freewrite group, and I thought "you can do five minutes a day", and that little bit of totally unstuck, expectation-free creativity unstuck me even further. I joke that #freewrite saved my life but in a way it. Once I stopped focusing on how I'd struggled or how much I lost, I started to see how much more there was still left to enjoy and create. It's ok, I needed to lick my wounds and be angry for a bit. Pretending that it didn't hurt would have meant burying it and that never works out in the long run. Abundance is knowing that you are a creative force, and that you can find co-creators, and help if you want it. It means letting everyone's success fill you joy, and knowing that that joy will move you forward. Bitterness just doesn't live in a joyful environment, nothing is more joyful than knowing that there is enough for all of us :)

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I appreciate your insight into the true sources of happiness and abundance. Very true too that bitterness, resentment, “relative deprivation” is what is really undermining the abundance of this society. People would rather do without themselves than set things up such that everyone gets what they need regardless. This puritanical idea of “earning one’s keep” has got to go.

We were born deserving, and the sooner we accept that for ourselves and everyone else, the sooner we can get on with living the blessing that was intended for us.

You may be temporarily knocked back, but you’ve got a wisdom that will ensure you bounce back with even more abundance and joy than before.

Yeah, I've had too many conversations with people trying to get to the bottom of their economic views only to find that it is 'relative deprivation' . I just want to know if they are so unhappy why not activate change instead of keeping us all here. The crabs in the bucket metaphor always comes to mind, and I just can't wrestle to the core 'why' of it...

This was a timely read for me and I appreciate you sharing the personal notes. You might like this recent TED talk about joy. It was an eye opener for me and also timely.

https://www.ted.com/talks/ingrid_fetell_lee_where_joy_hides_and_how_to_find_it

My heart goes out to you. I too lost a business I spend so many hours of my life building. Long story - but I still meet customers who lament that I am not there anymore but who only came to my store when they needed lots of service and shopped elsewhere for the bulk of their shopping (it was international groceries :)
they bought coffee somewhere else and asked me to grind it for them, or bought meat somewhere and wanted me to cut it on the meat saw - which takes forever to clean 🤪

I am so glad that you are able to move through the bitterness - and you are right. Sometimes, we need to be mad for a little bit and lick the wounds.

All the attitudes you are describing I have seen and it is so sad. We all could live such an abundant life if we shared. But that is such a big topic.

Glad that you are writing and selfie playing with us (and to share the abundance a bit, I sponsored you into SBI yesterday :)

ohhh SBI parties thank you <3 That's pretty funny (not 'haha' funny) and typical of people to say they miss your store that they wouldn't spend a few extra bucks to support. That is a big topic, and I mull over and move through it a lot, trying to make sense of that sort of self defeating behavior . We lost ours because the herb kratom is on the radar for the pharma companies- its been gaining traction in the US and it has a history of pissing off opiate pushers (the thai government banned it almost 100 years ago when they were trying to push opium on their overworked , no rights laborers, it is now legal there again ). I don't feel like I set out to take on giants , I think I just see things that are valuable and , well so do the these giants lol. I wish I had gone into the soap making or meal prep business... no politics in soap as far as I know ;) I joke that I've obviously been burned as a witch or a heretic in past lives and just keep coming back for more punishment lol. At least they only destroyed us financially this time, I guess we are moving forward from in that regard lol

also have you heard of @dustsweeeper? It tops off your low votes so they are paid, so if people like your comment and its under 0.03 it tops it off, you send them 1 sbd at a time and its worth 72 top offs ;)

Yes, I have and have a link to them in the prompt. it is such a good idea. Before I found out about the rounding to zero if the reward is under 0.03 I wated a lot of votes!!

yeah me too- wasted plankton dust floating in the wind lol

Please add the correct source links. If you have trouble finding the correct link use http://images.google.com click the camera icon insert image url

I fixed it to direct pixabay links for each pic... but I'm not sure why this came on your radar. They are from pixabay

So I can upvote without feeling guilty :)

Also, I still never heard back about anything from the @chronocrypto contest, do you guys work together? It thought you did by the way you asked me to link the contest rules etc?

I asked you. I'm not affiliated with chronocrypto. I also looked through things and your right and I don't know what happened with your 2SBD
I was asking because I wanted clarity. I don't like "accusations" without evidence. But since I've seen the evidence I have to aggree that something seems strange with the whole situation

ahh ok. Agreed. I saw your post comments with some guy defending his "make 400% guaranteed" post haha. and that guy that came to his defense was hilarious . So silly. But yeah the Chrono thing kind of bugs me because he promised a REALLY big pay out - 100 sbd, and has done nothing except continue to boosts his own posts. I'm sure he was thinking that offering such a huge payout would attract a lot of attention and he would make money and followers, but since only a handful of people submitted he doesn't feel like paying out and is just continuing with self promotion. That kind of stuff really irks me, and then for him to comment back to me like I was being impatient or unreasonable, very manipulative.

at least I found you account from that. I like writing. It feels personal. For me as a reader its one of the few times I feel touched personally. I know its not the point of your writing. But I think each person that writes and each person that reads gains something personal from the experience.

Concerning chrono. I'm not making assumptions. But I will be on the lookout for him if he tries to do something similar again.

Quite frankly though a 2SBD as a precaution against spam is just hilarious. I'm spending a lot of time on steem these days and I'm concentrating on choosing good people to follow, and not so much producing (although that might come later)

(edited)

So the idea of charging is to guard against spam, I can see that . And thank you, I guess something good did come of it after all haha

What spam? Seriously its a stupid "reason" imo. The only reason I can see for this would be to "make money" seriously. Competitions shouldn't be for making money. (At least I hope not.)
On the other hand. I "could" start my own compition XD win 1 SP Just upvote and resteem and send me a memo with a link to your story :\ XD (As a precaution against spam ofcourse cough)

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Thanks to @kilbride

We have planted already 4655.26 trees
out of 1,000,000


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Plant trees with @treeplanter and get paid for it!
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@martin.mikes coordinator of @kedjom-keku
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This is so important. I listened to advice from a pine tree once. She told me, "As you gather from your leaves, send to your roots." Trees are the most generous beings I know of, raining their abundance perennially! We would be wise to follow their lead.

Definitely deep inspirational shit!
#freeWriteSavedMyLife too. Steemon sister.