I dream almost every night. I don't know why that is but I enjoy that this is the case. For the most part my dreams are not frightening in a monster-chasing-me type way. Some of them are just nonsensical situations which I end up having magical powers such as the power of flight or the ability to shoot fireballs out of my hands and what not.
Most of my dreams are more practical and so real to life that, and I am a little ashamed to admit this, so realistic that I have been guilty of confusing things that happened while I was asleep with actual events in my real life. I have asked friends about certain things that "happened" only to have them not understand what I am talking about at all because said event didn't really happen... it was just in my mind while I was in REM mode.
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There is one thing that I frequently dream of though and I find it very disturbing and this part of the dream fills me with so much dread that when I wake up I experience a tremendous sense of relief once I realize that it was all in my head and not something that actually happened to me. It might not seem traumatic to a lot of you out there but it is devastating to me.
I was a smoker for nearly 25 years. This was something that was borderline acceptable when I started at the ripe young age of 15. While my parents were no doubt aware of the fact that I was doing it, they didn't make a big deal about it because this was the 80's and if you were alive then, you probably remember that it was a very different world back then in regards to cigarettes: You were allowed to smoke basically everywhere, even on airplanes. This all seems completely absurd now of course but there was a time when if you wanted to light up in the lobby of a hospital there were ashtrays basically everywhere. I recall seeing people grocery shopping with a ciggie hanging out of their mouths while they perused the canned tuna.
Nowadays if you smoke at all you probably have to go outside and be far away from any entrance to buildings and what not. Where I live now in Vietnam, you can basically smoke wherever you want but if you live in Canada, USA, Australia, or basically anywhere in the western world you are treated like a leper if you smoke.
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I have at multiple times in my life quit smoking, many of those times I quit for months and in the worst situation I quit smoking for 2 years only to get sucked right back into the habit. I was extremely pissed off at myself for that slip. If you have ever been a smoker you know how damn-near-impossible it is to quit. Those who have never smoked will never understand this struggle and probably view it as a weakness but I know first-hand exactly how difficult it is.
There was an episode of X-Files where they stated that quitting smoking is more difficult than giving up heroin. I have no idea if that is an actual statistic but I know from my own life experience that it is tough, damn tough.
Which brings me back to my recurring nightmare.
In my dream, I decide to smoke a cigarette or two. This happened to me on various occasions in my actual life and in all of those instances those "just a few ciggies" always resulted in me becoming a regular smoker again. I would delude myself into thinking that I was "only going to smoke during drinking beer or having a coffee" but that road always lead back to being a pack a day smoker.
I smoked for nearly the entire time I lived in Thailand as well and this was a lot easier to do because unlike in the west, they don't tax the bejesus out of the satan sticks in an effort to encourage people to quit. Here in Vietnam, cigarettes are less than $1 a pack so there is basically no financial incentive to stop for anyone.
Despite these barriers, I quit smoking in February 2 years ago and I haven't touched them since, nor do I feel compelled to do so. However, I know from my missteps in the past that all ex smokers are just 1 or 2 ciggies away from being a full-fledged addict again. Smoking is not something that you can just dabble in for most people. It's an all or nothing activity.
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I regularly dream that I smoked a couple cigarettes and I wake up angry at myself because I know how hard or damn-near-impossible it is to break that habit once you are back in, especially in a country where there are almost no restrictions on where you can smoke and participating in the habit is nearly cost-free.
Perhaps it is a strange thing to dream about but I am actually happy that it happens because it constantly reminds me about how terrible a habit smoking is and how easy it is to get sucked back in. There might be some psychological thing behind this as well. Like a passive defense mechanism in my brain.
Now, in an attempt to encourage dialogue in the comments I would like to know if you struggled with quitting smoking or if you have any sort of recurring dreams at all.
I had a dream that I smoked weed and got stoned lol! Don’t worry about what happens in your dreams, especially smoking. It cannot hurt you there. Just don’t do it in teal life.
I’m like you, i have dreams that I can fly. I have lucid dreams, which are my all time favorite! Lately i’ve been having some vivid dreams, ever since I got the corona vax they got even more vivid, and dark and twisted! I’m not worried about that though because I know it’s only in my head!
More intense dreams since the vax... that's pretty wild. I remember when I took precautionary malaria medication before visiting Timor that I had some crazy dreams for like a week, maybe something similar is going on with you.
Totally, thanks for letting me know I'm not the only one this vivid dream vax thing happened to. 🤙🤙
Stopped when I was 15, can't say I have ever been interested since. It never gave me a hit, and if you are going to take drugs (legal or otherwise), then that is a requirement in my book.
When I look back on why I started at all in the first place it is profoundly stupid. It made me sick and I did not like the experience at all. Why on earth I ever had that second one is a mystery.
Yeah, I have a couple recurring dreams that I have shared with you in the past. That has to be rough. I have never had to try and quit myself, but I know people who smoke that have tried and it is really rough. It sounds like the dreams are a great way of reminding yourself that it isn't worth it.
Is this because you never picked the habit up?
I have never smoked, but I know quitting must be difficult because I have had similar habits. I mean, most people are addicted to something, they just act like they aren't and point to smokers as if they are different. Like for example, coffee, all the people I know drink black coffee every day, and it is a lot, I know some people that if they don't drink coffee in the morning they automatically get migraine, it is a common effect. For most of these people it would be very difficult to give up coffee, because it is an addiction. Of course, I live in a place where people drink a lot of coffee, but it's true.
I remember that I used to drink a lot of coffee, even at night, and I never thought of giving it up because why would I? But eventually I gave it up, I still don't know why, but I did. However, I probably still have other addictions, and I have to work on that. Because again, most people are addicted to this and that without realizing it, they are addicted to computers, phones, etc., so it's not that simple.
We live in a world of excesses, that's how it is.
yeah i have to have my coffee in the morning but then again, I really haven't tried to not do it, so I don't know what would happen if I didn't. I'm not one of those people that drinks it all day though but there was a time that I did. Almost all office environments I worked in back in USA has free coffee available all day long so when that was the case I drank a lot of it. Too much I am sure.
One thing I am proud of despite simply being the avoidance of a bad decision, is that I have never smoked a cigarette. Not even a try ever. That being said, I have begrudgingly smoked a joint that had tobacco sprinkled into it as you can't look a gift horse in the mouth.
After a couple occurrences like this, I had your smoking dream. I was intrigued as I wondered whether it was the evil corporate leaf taking control of my mind, or my conscience bugging me about smoking it.
I was lamenting this eve about how tough it must be to stop smoking, and how much I admired my mother for doing it. Then I thought of how she died of pulmonary sclerosis and the quitting was probably done way too late.
Smoking tobacco should be obsolete by now!
I think most of the western world kind of views smoking as taboo now but this simply is not the case in Asia, and not just South East Asia. When I was visiting Korea virtually everyone smoked that I met and although you do have to go outside in order to take part in the habit, it is not viewed as a bad thing at all.
When I was young it was very rare to find places that didn't allow smoking and I was actually a bit surprised when I was on a business trip in Maine that smoking was banned from all bars and restaurants. I was there in winter as well so going outside to smoke was painful and even though I was a smoker at the time, I kind of appreciated it because everything smelled better.
Good on ya for never picking up the habit. It is a truly terrible one that I realize i will be susceptible to probably for the rest of my life. I sometimes wonder if the more than 20 years I spent being a smoker has already done irreversible damage to me.
It most likely has done damage but quitting is the best thing you could have done. Now is the time to work those lungs our and make sure they spend an hour a day fully filled!
I hear wild things about the impulse and how you never really stop thinking about having a smoke once you have been a smoker. Yikes!
Kinda like crypto! ;)
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