It’s hard to know how to feel about this. On the one hand I’m overjoyed to be able to see my niece once again, it’s been so long and she has grown up so so much, I don’t want to miss anymore of these precious moments. On the other hand I’m filled with fury that the social services are allowed to dictate the contact between us and to treat myself and my family as if we are all somehow a threat to this little girl who we all cherish. Obviously, I must ignore the sour taste and make lemonade from this situation. Who knows what’s to come and how often I will get to see my niece once the social services and family courts make their final ruling? What I do know is that things can’t get any worse for my niece and my sister, so for now we will all squeeze every ounce of goodness from these bittersweet contact sessions.
My sweet niece. She has intelligence and humour in abundance. You would never know what she has been through and the affection she showed me after so long apart just goes to show you can never break the family bond.
The Judge has taken a daughter away from her mum and there is no turning back. His decision was based on a mixture of lies, twisted statements and rehearsed performances, so on that basis I can’t put much of the blame on him. The father, someone who has gotten away with the most heinous crime possible, is pure evil. However, it is the social services who have helped facilitate this crime and all because they needed to cover their own failings and because it was just an easier task if my sister were to be blamed. They have ignored expert evidence, police interviews and amongst many other things the worst they have done is ignore the testimony of the child herself. Without the Social Services the father would be in prison, undoubtedly. For this reason I feel they are equally guilty in the abuse of my beautiful niece. It’s actually painful to think about it in depth and thankfully I do not have to go over it all again today as I’ve already documented much of what I’m referring to I’m my previous posts.
As things stand, we are now battling it out with the social services so as many of the maternal family members as possible can prove ourselves worthy to the Social Services and become “contact supervisors”.
The reason we are having to do this is due to a psychological report my sister was ordered to undergo. In this report it was stated that my sister could not be trusted to be alone with her own daughter due to her “entrenched beliefs" and her “unwillingness to accept the judgement”. Basically, my sister was faced with a choice. Either she agreed with the ridiculous narrative concocted by the social services, a narrative that says she had accidentally caused the injuries by checking for signs of abuse (injuries that one expert paediatrician said were the worst she’d seen during her career), or she could stick to what she believed had happened and to what she was told had happened by her daughter. If she were to relent and blame herself for something she had never done, the social services would allow her a route to being reunited with her daughter and possibly gain part-custody, possibly. Or, my sister could resist the temptation to clear the name of the father and subsequently the social services, but for this she will be punished with limited access and no chance of a meaningful reunification. As the social worker recently put it to me, “it’s like dealing with an alcoholic, until they admit they have a problem they will never be rehabilitated”. This callous and shameless statement was made to me during my most recent assessment, an assessment I have to undergo in order to be able to supervise my sisters future contacts with her daughter. Due to my inability to bow down to the social workers narrative and my unwillingness to clearly state that I agree with the judgement and that I think my sister is a risk to her daughter, because of this I have already failed one assessment and have probably failed the most recent one also. I will not, and I can not lay blame on my sister for this, no matter what they use as bait. How would it look if in the future my niece speaks out again about the abuse she suffered at the hands of her father, or, god forbid, if he abuses her again. If my sister crumbles to temptation and puts on record that she was to blame for what happened and that she agrees with the courts that her daughter made it all up and for some bizarre reason tends to lie about being abused, if she puts that on record then her daughter is truly condemned to silence for the rest of her life and so too is justice and the truth. For the same reasons I will also not crumble and will certainly never give that bitch of a social worker the satisfaction of hearing me agree with her. The social worker in question makes my skin crawl and I feel no guilt in wishing her a slow and painful death, but above that I would much prefer to see the truth come out and have her apologise for all she has done, just before she is led out of the dock and down to a jail cell where she belongs. And if you think what I am saying is harsh or the produce of sour grapes then I would kindly ask you to read through my previous posts.
Returning to the present, we are now in a situation where only my brother has been granted the privilege of being anointed “contact supervisor”, and with that comes questions of what he had to agree upon to be awarded such a position. Now, if I’m writing this post in a competent and coherent manner you’ll already have realised the nuances that come with such a sacrifice. My brother has been granted his position and this could only have been possible if he bent to the will of the social services and their opinions. Obviously as a family we hold no grudges to having one of us playing the game and saying what needs to be said. And having just one family member in this position means mother and daughter can have 4-hours together instead of just 2, which is the maximum allowed at a contact centre. It also means that my sister can have contacts outside the contact centre in more natural surroundings. Last week saw the first of this kind of contact where my brother was acting as supervisor and my sister enjoyed four hours of pure bliss with her daughter at a petting zoo. IT HAS BEEN 3 YEARS SINCE MY SISTER HAD MORE THAN 90-MINUTES TO SPEND WITH HER DAUGHTER AND FEEL LIKE A MOTHER AGAIN. So, after normality has been blurred in such a way as it has been over the last 3 years, being “given” 4-hours is a blessing. And maybe that may seem absurd to someone who’s never had to go through something like this, but put yourself in my sisters position and tell me you wouldn’t leave behind all the insanity for just 4 hours and cherish every minute of that time together with your daughter…
Moving forward, we hope that more of our family will be allowed to become contact supervisors as my brother can only commit to once a month. I am pretty much out of the running for this role as I won’t allow my niece to read in the report she will be given on her 18th birthday that I believe her mother caused the abuse and that I think my niece lied when she said her father abused her, that is something I can not allow to happen. Hopefully, my mother and father will find a way to progress through the assessment without having to give up too much ground. That being said, who would blame them for trading off their true beliefs for the chance that mother and daughter can have time together?
I have been playing catch up and I don't know the full story but I'm glad you and your sister got some precious time with your niece.
Happy to see your Niece has not been completely broken by the system and I am hoping the judge get his karma and somehow his decision gets overturned.
I know it's a complicated situation but something has to give, three years is too long.
Chin up buddy
Thanks Mark, I’m afraid this is the end of the line. We’ve won one trial, then had that overturned. My sister appealed against that but her solicitors didn’t even bother to support her appeal and left her to do it by herself. It’s been a very sad situation and seeing the system first hand has been infuriating. As a family we are pulling together though. I do hope you’re right about that karma thing and if so there’s plenty to catch up with.
Take care buddy and hope you’re well.
Sending love. I hope the final ruling will be the best for your niece and that she will be surrounded by people who love her truly.
Thank you for the love, much appreciated and needed. Sadly the final ruling is just to confirm what has already been decided. During the last hearing the judge did notice how the social services have done very little to facilitate contact between the child and her maternal family and instructed the social worker to rectify this ASAP. This is the only reason we are being assessed again for contact. IMO they want to cut us out of the child’s life so she has nobody to confide in. When the truth comes out many of them will be in a lot of bother (but maybe they won’t because they always get away with it and wash their hands of any blame). I’d happily skip over the justice and revenge just to have our niece back where she belongs.
Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read my post ❤️
Fucking heart breaking. So sorry 🙁
Certainly is. Thankful to have somewhere I can talk about it and not get hauled in front of the judge 🙂
I am so sorry that this is continuing and that you and your family are confronted with such terrible choices. I'm so glad to hear that your niece enjoyed seeing you and was comfortable with you after such a traumatic time.
Sadly it has become the norm for us and it’s testing our family limits. It’s also bringing us closer together though so it’s a double edged sword. It was so good to see my niece and play with her. My sister said she really could tell she enjoyed me being there. Would you believe the reason I haven’t seen her is because the social worker said my niece told her she didn’t want to see me?! At least some things are changing for the better.
Thanks for stopping by and reading this post, @shanibeer ❤️
So glad you have been able to see her again 😀
Thanks buddy. We had a great time together and just giggled for the entire contact. She has a awesome sense of humour 😎
Have not read the full story yet, but I get the gist of it, and this situation is complete insanity. It is terrible that there are such horrible people working in these powerful positions being able to single handedly ruin a young girls childhood, and take the side of the abuser. I wish the best for you, your neice and the whole family. I am going to go read the previous posts right now.
Thanks for taking the time to read this post and for your kind words of support. I hope me writing about this doesn’t come across weird but with hives anonymity this is the only place I can talk about it and say what I think. Hopefully it brings awareness to others who may believe the social services are an angelic organisation.
Children are priceless and well worth the fight. I am so glad you can reconnect with your niece. May this be a new beginning for your family.
All things aside, it was great to see her and I’ll take it for what it is. Fingers crossed it’s the beginning of many more contacts between us. Thanks for your kind words and for taking the time to stop by 👍
Completely insane!🤯 These sick bastards and bitches will get their due. Karma will strike them down🙏 Glad you three got four precious hours together💞
I hope they do get what they deserve, all of them. In my first assessment I put to the social worker her own narrative and asked, “so, are we to believe that my niece lied about all the things she told her mum and the police?”. Her answer to this was just pathetic and you could tell she didn’t really believe her own bullshit story. This monster is a mother herself!
Many monsters are unfortunately😥 But they will get their just deserts. God is watching🙏
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I am really sorry to read what happened to you. These CPS people are evil wolves in sheep's clothing. I can not imagine myself how you should feel. I only praise and glorify God that he still protects her. I will pray for you that God will do a miracle. Lord, I come to pray and beg that You will send an angel to work in the hearts of these evil people that they will return the little girl to her mother.
Thank you very much for your positive prayers ❤️❤️ A Miracle is probably all we have left
I'd do it in a heartbeat! I remember how unnatural it felt seeing my two oldest in that social services office, with barely any toys, and all broken stuff that was there. I remember realizing that if they'd find these things at home they'd probably write down "dangerous toys bla bla" as another reason to take kids from their families.
I'm happy your sister got to spend time with her, as well as yourself!
She seems so happy seeing her mum again, I hope this will be the beginning of her return to her mother. Never lose hope please my friend! <3
Hi there and thanks for taking the time to read the post and leave your thoughts.
These contact centres are certainly not the nicest of places. Fortunately the guy who supervises is lovely and very supportive of my sister. Because my sister won’t agree with the ruling against her the hope of her daughter coming home is very slim, for at least a year until she can apply to the courts again for a review of her assessment. It’s such a trap to be in. Hopefully my dad will be granted the possibility to become a contact supervisor which will mean more contacts outside of these centres 🤞
As for me, it was great to see her and I can’t wait for the next contact ❤️❤️
One doesn't even have to look too deep to realize the level of state control on a child's life is way too much. Am sorry about all this, and hope for the best possible outcome for you guys (you, your sister and family)
Thank you @empress-eremmy 👍 I hope some light will appear at the end of the tunnel too ❤️
Wow Dan I am so sorry that this is happening still. The lies and manipulation are mind blowing,this system is so corrupt. I am happy that you got so see her, but how very unfair and down right cruel this whole ordeal is. My thoughts are with you and your family. Sending you much love xxxxx
Yep, it’s crazy to think she was 3-yrs old when this all began 🤯 hopefully the social worker who’s caused all the problems is moving back to Manchester so maybe that will help us get more contact time. Disgraceful organisation, they really should be locked up for what they’ve done.
Thanks for stopping by and leaving your support, it is comforting to read. Xxx
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