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The only problem is after a couple of drinks, he looks even better :'(

You're drinking the right stuff then.

I don’t think so.

I’m pretty sure she’s drinking pee.

Actually I know it’s pee.

That guy told me.

Literally.

He said “Now that I look like the kind of guy that wants to watch girls drink my pee, I think I am the kind of guy that wants to watch girls drink my pee. I’m gonna give her my pee to drink.”

Sorry to be telling you like this. I’m sure you need a drink now.

Why don’t you come get this Imperial Pale Ale that I poured for you to...

Ok fine, this is just pee too.

Dammit.

I’d like to point out that before I edited that reply it originally had a typo that read, “Now that I look like the kind of guy that wants to watch girls drink my ore...” which, if I’m being honest, is a way better story.

Because all you’d be able to picture is this, like, wealthy old timey steel magnate with a monocle and pocket watch who likes to go out to the mines that he owns dressed up like a lady so that he can smelt some ore and see if he can get any of the poverty stricken miners’ wives to drink it.

I'd rather drink your pee than imagine that scenario

I definitely need a drink now. Where's that bottle of pee whiskey I've been saving for times like these?

I have it right here...in my pants.

No, like, literally, I keep a bottle of pee in my pants. My company does a lot of random drug testing.

Ah, that explains the bulge. I thought you were happy to see my partner in matching undergarments.