Lately I've Been Trying To Meet Girls

in #funnylast month

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Lately I've been having some problems meeting girls. The thing with me is, I don't really like walking up to a girl I've never talked to and starting a conversation. It's not shyness or anything, its just that it doesn't really seem like a natural way to make friends to me. Based on this I've been wanting to meet a girl some other way, maybe at a gathering, someone introducing me, or something else.

So I've been out trying to meet these sweeties without success. I go to the mall, no success. I go to restaurants and bars, no success. I go-to gyms they're not there, I get into restaurants/bars and they're not there too. You know, it's not like there are zero girls in these places, its that they're so few to chose from. So I think to myself, where can one go to and meet an abundance of girls? Girls can easily go to gyms, sports viewing centers, football fields, etc; simple places like these and meet trillions of guys but where does a guy go and meet a multitude of sweethearts?

As I thought about this, Jesus appeared laughing at me and telling me he knew one day I'd leave my atheism and come back to him. I asked what the hell does he mean? He laughed and disappeared again. When he left I was wondering what that was about. I gave it some deep thought; and that was when it hit me! The church, Nevies! The motherfucking church! That is where you'd meet a trailer load of girls two trailers load of girls!

I immediately started rummaging through my clothes for suitable church clothes. Then I spent some time at the mirror to select the true holy Christian and at the same time sexy expressions that I'd wear while in church like:

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(In tears) Prodigal me, I'm going back to the Lord at last. Leaving everything behind. Nevies is going back to church, people!

(Whistling Amazing Grace..)

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a horny wretch like me..

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Hahahaha 😂. Well, thank you!

You have 666 followers - are you satanic?

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Hahahaha. I didn't even know I had 666 followers. I think I was Satanic, but I couldn't keep it up for long enough as now I have 667 followers 😂😂

I am The Anointed Cherub and nobody else is allowed to pull that shit on Hive!

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I'm sorry my Lord Cherub, it has all been settled now. I now have 667 followers 😂😂

yeah that was my dong sorry - now you are neighbour of the beast...

ps. i meant to say doing but dong is better anyway

Hahahaha 🤣🤣. Couldn't agree more.

Chapter two ...

Hehehe, you want to see chapter two?

I think so 😁

!ENGAGE 30

Alright. I'm going to make Chapter 2. I'd come back to this comment to let you know when I do😂😂
Thanks a lot for dropping by in chapter 1 and for the engage tokens!

Now @shanibeer,
I've just posted chapter 2!😀😀

Thank you for your engagement on this post, you have recieved ENGAGE tokens.

Hallelujah

A funny hive post, fuck me i nearly mouth farted

Hahahahaha. Thanks for dropping by.
Yeah, there are not many funny posts on hive. I'd keep it up for sure. Also, in the past I've made a lot of posts I consider funny 😀
You wouldn't mind if I recommend this one I made some years ago, would you 😀? People say it's one of my best, and it is short too:
https://hive.blog/humour/@nevies/caught-scandal-the-one-time-mess-up-came-for-me-3fda19346476c

lmfao , i'm so bummed i missed out on this one till like a month later but that's the best thing I've read in ages

Hahahaha. It's never too late 😊.
Also you might like the part 2 that says what happened when I actually went to church for the next Sunday 😅
Or if that one is old too, I've got a more recent one

PS: You're not supposed to remember me, though, but there was a time we used to talk on Steemspeak discord 😀. That was years ago. And I remember you liked to look at pictures of sexy men in one of the bot chats or something 😃😁