Free votes for sale!
Free votes for sale!
Free votes for sale!
Have You Heard the News?
Free Votes for Sale!
Good afternoon, morning, evening, night, day to you Sir, Ma'am, It, These, Those and Them Over There.
My name is @NoNamesLeftToUse The Writer/Artist/Entertainer Himself!
Isn't that exciting!
I'm here today to announce something very special.
Please go back to the top and read all of the parts where it says, "Free votes for sale." This way, I won't have to write it all down again.
Thank you.
"But What's the Catch?"
"This sounds too good to be true!"
Why? Am I coming on too strong?
Should I tone it down a bit? Come down a few notches, perhaps? Simmer down, maybe? Chill the fuck out?
I can't. You'll just have to deal with it.
There's No Catch Either!
...and how do you expect me to stay calm at a time like this!
I just jizzed in my pants!
I'll clean that up later though. It's time to get down to brass tacks here. We have work to do. Time to pull our socks up and get with the program. Time to get our heads in the game and keep our sticks on the ice.
So what the hell was I talking about...
Oh yeah!
If you were able to battle through that bit of chaos without rolling your eyes, sticking your nose up in the air, acting like your shit doesn't stink, thinking you're somehow above all this; you might be what I'm looking for. Did I use that semicolon correctly? Fuck I hate those things.
But I'm learning!
Are you learning?
Patience. If you think you have what it takes and you're interested in purchasing one of my free votes, you're going to need a lot of patience. An entire shit-ton of patience. That's some heavy-ass patience. You'll need to be able to lift it, then carry that shit around with you wherever you go. Don't drop it, ever. As soon as you bend down to pick it up...
Bow-chicka Wow Wow!
Your prison fantasy comes true.
Everything you just read was some strange form of free-writing combined with improvised comedy. If you think I actually put a lot of thought into that, you'd be mistaken and that's okay. We all make mistakes. Ask my mom. She'll tell you all about me... I mean, mistakes. Wait, no... never mind.
Just then, I added self-deprecation humor to the mix. Did you notice?
Do you have it in you to act as ridiculous as I am acting now, or maybe even push it further? If you can make me laugh, I'll let you buy one of my free votes.
Deal?
Also, I enjoy art. Maybe you've seen some of mine?
That one is brand spanking new! You've never seen it before. It's what happens when I think about what it would be like to be driving along one night, minding my own business, then all of a sudden... Splat! Spiderman, all over my windshield! Then I thought turning the wipers on and spraying it with a bit of bug juice might help but I was wrong.
Two more from awhile back.
Clearly, I'm an outsider artist. I appreciate a work of art more if it comes from someone who shares a similar background.
Outsider art is art by self-taught or naïve art makers. Typically, those labeled as outsider artists have little or no contact with the mainstream art world or art institutions. In many cases, their work is discovered only after their deaths. Often, outsider art illustrates extreme mental states, unconventional ideas, or elaborate fantasy worlds.
That's what Wikipedia has to say about outsider art.
It sounds like it was written by an insider to me!
I'm sitting here, working my ass off, trying to get noticed... and that explanation up there tells me to go kill myself instead!
Thanks Wikipedia!
Jerks!
I never liked labels anyway. I used to consider myself to be a free-thinker until I noticed there was an entire group of those too, and they were all thinking the same way.
Anyway.
If you only came here to purchase a free vote, there might be something wrong inside your head. Why would you purchase something that is free? A few screws loose, perhaps? Maybe a couple eggs short of an omelet? Who knows!
You're not wasting your time though.
I'm looking for people, like me. You can purchase my vote simply by putting in some time and effort into your blog, getting my attention, showing me something cool or making me laugh. If you can combine it all and be the proverbial one-man band like I'm attempting, my mind would be blown and you might even make a new friend!
Hooray for Boobies!
Oops, I meant buddies!
It breaks my heart to see some people actually purchasing votes. I'm willing to undercut all of those services.
Keep in mind, I certainly can't vote for everyone and all of the time.
If your work isn't original, you won't be seeing my vote.
I'm an established veteran here on the site. My vote is worthwhile, especially to you new, up-and-coming stars. I'm looking for new people to follow on a regular basis, but I can't see you if you're hiding. I can't see your talent if you've put it on the shelf for safekeeping while you attempt to follow the herd and write boring essays about the history of Bitcoin either.
That's all this was about.
Have a nice day! 
Warning: If, for some odd reason, you decide to send me money instead of actually reading this post, I cannot guarantee a refund. If you get a refund, the memo will say, "Idiot! Pay attention!" I insist you keep that for your records. Do not send money and expect a vote. This was designed to be humorous, and tagged accordingly.
Hey there, I saw you advertising your free votes.... are you trying to rip me off?!
-0.5 steem is my final offer, take it or leave it! Haha.
Did you just waste your first post on Steemit coming here to talk to me?
No. Welcome to Steemit!
It's not like I have much better to do-- I just got here! I've never blogged in my life! Where do I go?!? WHAT DO I DO?!?!
I think I will just go around upvoting people and leaving smart-arse comments on their pages! Yes; this is my mission as a steemian. Bwahaha.
Hey! Be careful! You have a limited amount of voting power. Use it wisely!
It's not a terrible tactic. But yeah, keep yourself down to about 10 votes a day when you're new.
Come to me, if there is a desire.
Free votes???????????????????????????????//
The real question is does jizz freeze the moment it hits the cold air up there? haha
That's a good question! I'll be right back....
Science experiment.... here I come!
"The stroke of genius"
So, I'm not a very good scientist. I may have jumped to a few conclusions prematurely. I'm going to need more time.
I’m a self taught “outsider” artist. And i also make comics. Here is some of my art in a recent post . https://steemit.com/art/@dflo/art-an-eyeball-because-why-not. Also i just won third place for this contest, its a painting and a poem. https://steemit.com/artexplosion/@dflo/a-painting-and-a-poem. And here is a comic. Jut skip over the blog part I was working a very depressing job and was writing down the sad things . The sad things actually lead me to make the comic. Which is kind of how it works sometimes : https://steemit.com/life/@dflo/friday-in-the-mall-creative-nonfiction-and-a-comic
Excellent! I see a lot of potential there. You just started, this month. You're from Montana. I'm from Saskatchewan. Is it -40 there as well?
I want to talk about the parts you told me to skip over :)
I didn't skip over them. You're a self taught outsider artist. You have a knack for learning on your own. This does not scare you. That is good.
I looked at those three links, as well as a few others. I dropped a couple of presents on the ground. Nothing much, it's a start. I'm not a whale. Since I can't make you rich, today, with a couple of votes; I'm going to offer some advice that should help you see more than just my votes in the future.
Formatting. Since you can learn on your own, I'd like you to follow these steps.
https://steemd.com/funny/@nonameslefttouse/attention-all-funny-people-and-outsider-artists-free-votes-for-sale-here-get-your-free-votes-for-a-limited-time-only-i-have-free
That is a link to THIS POST of mine. The only difference is: instead of "steemit", is says steemd. You see that? Good!
When you arrive on that site, you'll notice my post is there, but it's the editor version. Click on that box, it will expand so you can see the entire contents. I'd like you to look at my post here, as it is in it's finished form, then flip over to the editor version(use two tabs) and compare what you see. When you look at my finished product here and wonder, "How the hell did he do that?"... You'll see the codes that make it all happen.
You can then play around with what you learn in your own editor. Good times!
Adding that polished look goes a long way around here. All that fancy mumbo jumbo that makes the magic happen is something I also taught myself.
Enjoy!
Thanks so much for your thoughtful reply! Formatting is one of my next goals for Steemit.. Thanks for this very helpful start, I will make it my to-do for this weekend, since it is late at night now as I read this! I haven’t seen this before so this is an awesome lead to get going on it. And you are right, I am comfy teaching myself! :). I really appreciate this! Have a wonderful day/evening/whatever time it is where you are !
There is a handy MarkDown Tutorial to learn a little more, and if you are visual, and as an artist it's pretty safe to say you are, There are TWO editors I use for my posts. SteemStyle.com and Dillinger.io. I don't connect any other services to them, and I do not put anything into them that may be sensitive (like passwords, etc), but they may prove useful in you new journey.
Best of wishes in 2018!
Thanks I am more visual, and I will check these out. Best wishes to you, too!
OH MY GOSH THIS WAS LIKE NINE HUNDRED STEEMIT YEARS AGO!!!! I vaguely remembered the free votes post when you mentioned it, and now that I see it , i totally remember! I forgot who showed me the formatting tricks !! I was just too new back then and was cramming so many details in my mind (which is missing, as you know), and so I forgot your name... which, how could i forget. I have seen you around but did not associate you with this wonderful early help you gave me. Oh, wait. I'm gonna continue this comment on your new post.
I have some funny things down my line, but I try to keep the straight face, that is that I don't cringe to much on my inner self.
Life would be boring without a few moments of pure nasty.
Keep Steemin' funny!
I'll try to keep doing the funny, but it's not as easy as it looks! Some days are dark. Some days I'll just tell a story. Some days I don't even know what the hell I was thinking when I produced that weird mess of a post.
And just to clear things up. I don't have a problem with any of the content people produce here. Different strokes for different folks. We all have our flavor. So what if I think some bitcoin essays are boring. Some other stuff about Bitcoin taught me one hell of a lot of things I needed to know. The teachers teach, the scientists science, the bowlers bowl, the funny people funny. There's a place for everyone here.
At the moment I only have a partial shit-ton of patience, not an entire shit-ton, but I'll be back later when I've acquired an entirety and the strength to carry it around. In the meantime, will you take a rain check on those free votes? I'd like a million.
P.S. Labels are dumb, Wikipedia is basically just self-taught encyclopedia, and please don't kill yourself because your outsider art is very cool.
If you would like to purchase a free trailer to help carry that around, that can be arranged.
I'm wondering if a partial shit-ton would be called a Shitoshi? Once you have enough Shitoshis, we'll talk.
There won't be any rain checks. I looked outside earlier and it was sunny, snow on the ground, and -47 °C. I don't think I'll need to check for rain again until spring.
Yes, I believe Shitoshi is the correct unit for measuring a partial shit-ton. I only have a few thousand Shitoshis right now so it will be awhile before I'm 100% patient.
I'd accept your offer to purchase a free trailer but I suspect the ones you have for sale won't thaw out until April or May, so I think I'll shop around and see what I can find. Thanks though.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just pulled the damn free trailer for sale over to your blog and dropped it off for you. Do you lift, bro?
I enjoy photography as well, sometimes. When I see stupid shit like, "I was too lazy to look it up," I like it more. I see some potential here. You have a sense of humor and a means of producing your own images. It's a deadly combo!
Sweet, a free trailer I didn't have to pay for! Can I hire you for free to carry my Shitoshis around?
Also, in all seriousness, thanks for the comments and the upvotes. I'm glad you liked my stupid shit potential. It appears that you just bumped me up into rep 42 territory, which I've really been anticipating because now I can write a blog about The Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything (in between all my boring essays about the history of Bitcoin, of course). I'm not sure why I enjoy meaningless milestones like this but I do.
I know a guy who knows a guy's cousin's friend's sister's mom's boyfriend's son. He's pretty good a lugging shitoshis around. Pushes shopping carts for a living.
In all seriousness returned. It was my pleasure. I'm sorry that it couldn't be more.
No milestone is meaningless. Without them, we'd be lost. Something like that.
Have a good day!
Brilliant, I tell you! BRIL-LI-ANT!
You like that one! I'm still waiting, feeling hopeful. I'd really like to start selling these free votes to those who read the fine print. They're free now to do what they've always wanted to do, whoever they are.
I don't even know what "jizzed in my pants" means.
I am being patient, very patient.
OMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
OOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
I'm not sure I want to be the one to teach you about such things!
Bow-chicka Wow Wow
I used to looove Jackass! Partyboy was the greatest, but so was the skit when they would dress up like football players and tackle the shit outta each other in stores!
I love Viva la Bam, too - almost cried when I heard that Ryan Dunn died...
I'm a huge fan of what they managed to accomplish by being IDIOTS! Just think about how popular that was. Look around, look closely.
It's a fantastic business model if you ask me!
Hahaha Very true. Not only a fantastic business model, but also a very closely immulated model in most aspects of the world. ;)
Made this special for you.
What is it? I can't seem to find it anywhere.
Well I still don't know how much you want for these free votes but I'll let you have this Seal of Quality and then maybe you can tell me.
I really liked this, really made me laugh! the art work is really great and weird too! I like weird!
All of the above is true. So damn true! You speak only truth!
Oh! Thanks! I need those laughs after doing something like this. If it's crickets...
I die inside!
Dude, you remember me Woody Woodpecker, in drugs, without having a sexual intercourse in a lot of time... And that´s great!
I won´t tell you to follow me or vote me, because i write boring bullshit in SPANISH! I´m serious, don´t follow me!
Thanks for your your crazy sense of humor, it´s nice to find some on this platform. Keep going!
Hey! Thanks for the compliments. I'm actually trying to learn spanish. I think I'm nearly fluent. Check this out(pardon me if I make an embarrassing error).
~Clears Throat~
El queso tiene la vagina sucia y un duende me hizo almorzar para el desayuno.
See! I think I'm ready to order a meal at a fancy restaurant in your country now!
Rolf! Did you know that's not allowed to trip on acid in fancy restaurants?
It's not? Shit! Hey! Check this out, I've been practicing more.
~Clears Throat~
Entonces, ¿cómo está el burro? Me gustaría que sean prostitutas de sopa el jueves. Parece que no puedo contener mi erección, pero me gusta el café con crema y cocaína.
It's getting better! Right!
Yep but "como está el burro" is a mistake, you have to say "como está maduro". It's an elegant way to say the same thing. Same as " café con crema y cocaína", you should say "café con leche y perico" Keep working, your are doing great!
Thank you so much for your teachings!
So, I played that prank on everyone once before. If you ever have a moment and would enjoy some more humor, read this one.
This Man Has Finally Discovered How to Learn a New Language for Free
Hahaha
I have to agree this is a pretty funny post @nonameslefttouse
Yeah, seems Steemit is kind of sucking ever since Transisto Bernie Sanders and Grumpiecat decided they wanted to be the Rothschilds of Steemit.
It's pretty shocking to me... They expect everybody to do all the work, creating quality content, spreading the word about Steemit, attracting new investors, trying to convince people this platform is not a giant hoax...
And then they get to profit from this reward pool even though they have nothing of value to contribute?
Pretty interesting indeed...
They're making tens of thousands of dollars every day, fooling the masses of Steemians into believing they are the social justice warriors of the platform, meanwhile they're robbing the platform's investors blind, raping the reward's pool like a japanese officer in a chinese rural community in 1940, and jeaopardizing any long-term viability this platform may have actually had..?
Interesting...
What do you make of this social experiment so far?
I fricking love the idea but it's kind of sad that it's being run by egomaniacal plutocrats
Sure, the vote buying is bad enough, but you think that's the biggest crime happening on this platform?
Think again lol
Don't worry.
I get it.
I'll just keep chuggin along, as they say. I've been here through every version of what's wrong with this place. No matter what I'm pissed off about, I rarely snap. Cool, calm and collected. I get to release it all using my talents. I'm still coming out on top somehow, no matter what happens. That's how I get through it. That's why I can stay and keep going. I see good down the road. The now times never seem to matter. Best not to get caught up in it.
That's the perfect attitude to have man... I feel the exact same way.
We're fighting a revolution, and in every revolution, there are traitors and loyalists stiffling our efforts. But that doesn't mean we will necessarily lose, no matter how bad they are hurting our chances of winning. At the end of the day, it's the Spirit and Energy that will determine which way this thing goes... 10k Steemians steeming for Peace Abudance and Liberty will definitely amount to something significant.
If people we're aware of this platform, it's needs, and recruited for the right purposes, that would certainly help the focus of all energies going to the right projects and the right streams!
Hopefully Steem will keep on going for quite some time...
Those Rothschild-types at least know what's good for them... They may be milking the platform like the cash cow that it is for them, but they know better than to kill the goose that lays the golden egg.. So even if it is incredibly corrupt, we'll still be able to do quite a lot of wonderful things here.
Peace bro xx
I don’t know how I went 200 days without finding out about you or what closest you been hiding in.
Now about this prison fantasy. I got some cookies you go get that Spider splats that look like sideways unicorns being chased after by wolves.
Can I just have the cookies? This is like, the only time, anyone, ever brought me cookies. All I can think about is cookies right now. I'm trying to formucookieslate a decent rescookiesponse but I can't.
This is all so sudden. I guess we can settle somewhere in the middle with some Betty White.
This video was very informative. I appreciate this information. This was informative information that I like. I like this post a lot. This post, very nice. Maybe someday I can be an artist too, thanks to this informational video. I will introduce you to my cousin because of this video. She cooks a spicy meatball. You will like her balls.
** give me 10** I pay you later 🤪
You want 10? You got 10! 10 cents! ...and I paid you now!
Sweet👍
I did not know that in addition to being a great artist, you were such a fun dear friend @ nonameslefttouse.
I love this job congratulations.
I wish you a wonderful afternoon.
I'm always joking around here! I think I'm serious about 2% of the time. Thanks for doing all that you can to make my afternoon wonderful!
You did well to lure me with that Topic.
Funny you. Your art is scary or sad.
Bravo!
I can make a yacht with my penis and testicles. It's quite convincing :0)
... but
Does it float?
No...
It sinks...
All. The. Way. In
Bow. Chicka. Wow. Wow.
what a creativity!! lol
Hi there, I agree with you about buying votes, it doesn't feel right but people have to do it cause their valuable content isn't getting enough attention.
I'm a new blogger who staryed here about 2 weeks ago. I already got some high value posts but still got some low ones with a few cents...
Not long ago I started writing my first series called "My favorite Steemit tools". I would be thankful for even just checking out my account.
You're attempting to justify fraud, in my opinion. Therefore, I will not be looking at your blog to give you a FREE vote. Reason being, I try my best to only vote for those who like to work honestly. You folks buying votes are getting scammed anyway. If I would have purchased my votes, the simple math dictates I would NOT have this much money in my wallet. Have fun screwing yourself. That's all you're doing.
Outstanding art. I like this
@nonameslefttouse, Outstanding art work. I voted you. Thanks my friend.
great post,excellent art
good work,thanks for the post sharing
I've read your blog. I like the free vote and your photography is great
Superb and funny ! Beautiful art works my friend !!
Hi, I'm doing NBA contests in my account for 100% of my earnings in order to grow as a helping steemian, but srill cant get enough views or upvotes on my posts. I would be happy if you'll give me an upvote, thanks!
Hi. I hope you read the post. This isn't a vote giveaway. I'm looking for a particular group of people. If you stick to what you're doing and find enough interest, you'll do just fine.
Don't feel silly for the rude comment you left me in that other post either. That's life.