The classic adage "It'll put hair on you chest" has led me to do some things that I'm not proud of. Looking back on all the things I've done, I should probably look like this:
I even took a dare to try to make it all the way around the Arkansas public toilet:
I think it burned off any chance of hair.
So, due to that, and some cruel trick of nature, I have not yet been granted the privilege.
Yet I have not lost hope and I've compiled a list, much like @acolucky's, that I'm sure will be my path to manliness. Here they are, and submit a few of your own as a comment for a chance to win 10 STEEM for the best and then 1 SBD to each of two runner-ups.
Top 7 "For sure to put hair on your chest":
1: Tell @hanshotfirst that The Hobbit was far better than The Lord of the Rings.
4 (I know that 4 doesnt come after 1 but I'm trying to keep with the Star Wars theme): Tell @notb4mycoffee that really the dad has the harder job as a parent
2: Tell @meesterboom that you "liked post much very... everyonebody love your post.... upvote and follow back and send 5o sbd to wallet... thnks"
3: Tell @idikuci that @trafalgar will never consent to posting an entry to #comedyopenmic
5: Tell @punchline that George Carlin's comedy is rather pointless
6: Tell @dj123 that his new profile pic is kinda weird
7: Make an entire contest like this and not give @acolucky full credit for his awesome idea
Nah even I cant do that last one. Thanks so much to @acolucky for his genius post that started me on it! Check it out here:
https://steemit.com/comedyopenmic/@acolucky/a-tribute-comedy-open-mic-round-3
Like I said earlier, submit a few of your own as a comment for a chance to win 10 STEEM for the top one and then 1 SBD to each of two runner-ups!
Thanks so much to @punchline for his incredibly generous donation of 8 STEEM to the prize pool!
This is a great contest theme.
I also had hopes and dreams for a 100% vote from someone, but @idikuci beat me to it.
HAHA XD great ones! I will say, dj123y does have a nice ring to it ;-)
Not to rub it in but I got 100% upvotes from @trafalgar :P
Ah, so that's how you got your hairy chest.
Ask your mom to stop talking about me
She likes to show off her humanitarian work
i really like your mom :)
I "like" his mom too
lol charu you show-off, in his early steemit days traffy also upvoted nsfw post 100% ;P
That doesn't prove anything
besides traffy being really horny when he does 100% non-self-upvotes, yeah you're probably right, doesn't prove much else
"tell @nonameslefttouse you don't understand his squiggles"
HAHA XD I was wondering if i was the only one that couldnt fully appreciate art.
Tell @brandt you like goat curry"
XDXDXDXDXDXD
And then anything involving @bernieslanders is quality comedy. Thanks for your entries! (try to keep em clean next time but that was my bad that i didnt specify it in the post)
Hah - now I understand there's an inside bet for 100 SBD to the first person that makes me flag them.
Ask @idikuci to write for steem-stem
Ask @trafalgar to start posting funny things (burn)
Ask @nobyeni to enter a philosophical rap battle
Ask @punchline what Carlin meant by "In america anyone can become president. that’s the problem"
Ask @nsfw to babysit @thedailylaugh's kids
Ask @diebitch to upvote herself
Ask @dj123 to blog.period.
@ithcy did write for stem (well pseudo-stem.....it's psychology) but it bored the stem community so now his niche is comedy
@traffi has moved on to anti-
herpes/flag rants@noby did do a rap battle with carl.....but it's buried deep in the reply section
@puncy would probably punch Carlin
@sluttinsfw would sit on almost anyone until they got pregnant with kids - no-pedo
@deathbitch don't need to self upvote, she has machiavellian mastery
@deejay123 says, "fcuk you!" <- how's that for a post?
I want to post spam comments on your post :(
Hi Dj , I likes you're post, please upvote , flag and resteem me
i bet you would :)
instead you have to settle for spamming somebody else's post.....bwahahah!
Well deejay thanks for reminding me that I forgot to specify to keep em clean.
Some great ones though XD
@diebitch commented on my post!!! (pardon me while I celebrate my accomplishment...) Ok I'm back. Hilarious entries! I was too scared to post anything bout @trafalgar for fear of never getting a chance at a 100% upvote ;-)
Awesome entries!
Oh he won't know if you talked about him :P Busy Man
For the kids @thedailylaugh: www.emergencyrestrainingorder.com.
I was gonna add one but I am too scared to even mention the madness without the "at" sign in case of retribution!
I suspect you do look like Chewie anyway but you are just really ace at shaving! ;0)
Haha go ahead and do it! Id love to see what you got! Yeah my girlfriend (well, I say girlfriend but I dont think she realizes it yet...) said I looked like chewie... not exactly sure if she meant it as a compliment...
--Upvote @thedailylaugh after payout.
I got busy this week. Forgot to add a list. However, I made a list before and maybe that is enough. :-)
No problem! your list was awesome!
That gif is hilarious. I will pass on the tips lol
I really am not witty enough for this, but I do remember I didn't like barley and my father would tell me "eat it, it will make hair grow on your chest", it probably was true because 40 odd years later I do have a lot of hair on my chest.
Ah its the the 40 year wait that gets it I guess... dangit.
Oh no the misery of parenting is definitely a two person job. I have to take care of 3 children. Two little ones plus my husband. And he has 2 kids and a crazy wife.
Seems pretty fair.
Yeah I guess they balance out in way that both parents seem that they work more at it ;-)
hey @thehourlylaugh, I really don't appreciate you letting out my weird secrets so quickly....what are you planning todo next....let everyone know there is a secret message ....uh...nevermind
Seriously?
I have written a 1700 word post analyzing every way in which The Lord of the Rings is FAR superior to The Hobbit!
Oh you were kidding.
Well it looks like I'm not getting those 9 hours back.
Haha XD
@mightpossibly, @aussieninja, @coruscate, @littlescribe
Promoting this contest to you if you have any quick funny zingers to make. Make them about me if you need some material. Should be a breeze.
Ask @steemmatt to not work out every day
Tell @thevillan that 'villain' is spelled 'villain'
Tell @dj123 that it looks like they haven't started blogging yet.
HAH. Your villan line is what goes through my mind every single time I see his name. Well done.
Thanks! Just stating them facts.
You had some very good ones too. Especially liked your second one about dj.
And hey, thanks for tipping me off. I would have missed this completely.
Challenge Accepted.
Want to be a #Comedyopenmic guest judge in round 5?
you bet!
The things you've done wont torment you, but the ones you havent done, so keep doing.
I heard that guy needs general anesthesia and 2 epidurals when he gets a waxing and then has to follow up with a 2-week dose of Vicoden and insurance considers it a pre-existing condition. On the plus side, bald men worship this guy!