I feel like I am trapped in my teenage years but also at the same time felt that my body is four times older because of my bone issues and it is a bit funny that it was like that because of my parents who are still caring for me like I am their perpetual teenage son in a body of an old person while my whole life came into a pause and never marched forward it is just a peculiar way to live.
In a way I like it like that because I needed my parent's love and caring which would never be equaled by anyone and in fact I just want to die before them because it will be just a big void if one of them goes first before my time.
So I have a joy in my heart that my parent are still around not because they they are helping me but the mere fact that they are still here is just enough to make me happy. But it would be better if I had the family of my own but my fate didn't allowed me so it is just one of those things that frustrated me in my life.
It sucks to live this way though because it is not normal and it is hard as well as there is a level of uncertainties that hunts me night and day which makes me worry but I cannot do anything about it. I am just doing what I can to make things better for myself and my parents because my life now revolves around here in my house and that I have to accept.
@cryptopie you have a beautiful soul, brother :) You have a great intelligence and a brave spirit to face your challenges head on, accepting your hardship. Your parents would feel just as bad to lose you as it would be for you to lose them, you are a blessing to them, more than they know... so don't dwell on the bad, but continue to fill your heart with joy and peace when you can, sometimes that is all you can do... I just admire you so much for pouring your heart out for us to read, I appreciate it... God gives us every struggle for a reason. Where do you live, buddy? Do you like science? If you do and you want to get your mind off stuff, please check out my last post :D Do you pray much?