Because depression is an evil demon and sometimes it is stronger than I am. It tells me I don't have time to be relaxed or happy and sends me into a spiral where I forget self care.
I know what will make me feel better, I just have to fight the depression to do it.
So there are ups and downs and I hope you will go up;-) Try to enjoy everything that you do.
Sometimes I feel also depressed but that is not a big deal because for me depression is a sign.
That it is time to take more care to my body and mental state. Bad things can be also good. The universe and the creation are perfect.
Greetings with Love
Namaste