I looked in the mirror today; truly looked.
I saw lines and creases and skin not as soft and supple as it once was; a hint of crows feet around my eyes - eyes less innocent and more knowing as they once were. I saw silvery streaks in my hair...and I saw an ageing me.
My face carries a lifetime of experiences, good and bad. There's beautiful moments of light, like the sun shining down on a spring day as I lay in a field of flowers. Shadows also, because that's part of life; they fall across our path, often inexplicably and at other times exactly when they need to. As my mind wandered back to those countless moments, the brushstrokes I've painted across the canvas of my life, I felt my lips pull into a smile and my eyes soften as they stared into themselves and I felt...happy and content.
I've spent many years painting my life in colours and shades and it's not always been easy or enjoyable. It's been my life however - my masterpiece one could say - and looking in the mirror today I saw it painted upon my face, a life-weathered face that carries the passage of time . I saw a lifetime of experiences and small moments, of tragedy and triumph, love and loss, all displayed there for people to see.
I used to wonder what people saw when they looked at me however these days I know it's what I see about myself that is ultimately the most important. Do I see an ageing me? No, I just see a face. The real me lies somewhere within me; my mind, my soul or spirit? I'm not sure. I know I'm more than what I look like though - far more. I'm not my reputation or looks, that's other people's judgement. I'm my character, the things I do when people are watching or not and it's that which matters.
Someone once said to me, smile, it makes people wonder what you're thinking. True enough I'd say. Today, looking in the mirror...I was thinking about a life well-lived and life yet to be lived.
Wonderful words
Quote "I used to wonder what people saw when they looked at me however these days I know it's what I see about myself that is ultimately the most important."
Couldn't have said it better!
Thank you so much.
The ability to truly see oneself is a valuable tool to have, along with the ownership and responsibility to accept it or make change as required.
Yes I believe it is how we feel inside that counts, not our ageing bodies on the outside!
This is true. I look back on myself as a younger person: My body, how I moved and what I could do...Would I like to be that person again? Sure. But I cannot, so I choose to be me...There's value there, for those who wish to see it.
Thanks for your comment.
Exactly we live in the here and now!
This is a beautiful realization. And I think it means you aren't headed for one of those crazy midlife crises where you start dying your hair and buy a house boat or something. Truthfully, men just look better as they age anyway, and getting wiser is fabulous.
The houseboat might be fun though.
I'm writing this from my house boat whilst waiting for my hair colour to set...
Ok, not really.
Sometimes I have trouble looking at myself in the mirror however I force myself to do it. I guess I see things there and through seeing them I'm able to accept or discount them as required. Of course, I see me ageing also but, not to sound immodest, I feel that what I see isn't so bad. I mean inside and out.
Thanks so much for your comment.
Now...Back to my houseboat.Indeed, an intelligent person should be able to see beauty in our own aging, at least half the time. We all have our doubts at times.
Coloring your hair rainbow is all the rage here. Just so you know...in case you do decide to do the whole midlife crisis thing. I'm sure all the American college girls studying abroad would like it;)
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