It was never about the shit you bought. Or rather, if it was, it wasn't so much the event itself, but how you looked at it that needed changing. A lot of people decry this time of year as a consumerist free-for-all with little in the way of sentimental value or true meaning. A fairly arbitrary word, innit? What's meaning?
Don't get me wrong, I know I've sang much the same tune in the past. Christmas has been amped up to be one of the most consumerist, meaningless, trite celebrations the globe over. An occasion for people who can hardly stand each other to spend money they don't have, in the words of Carlin, on shit they don't need.
But it don't need to be about the shit you buy. Or rather, the shit you buy is supposed to be the medium, not the end-goal, you know?
See, I don't think that boycotting the holidays is the way to fight consumerism, not really. Why should that be? How is you refusing to give someone a gift a way of bettering your existence? It's not. It's just a way of defining your existence in some roundabout way, but it's not actually making the point you wanna make. Not if the gifts you would have bought would've had real value.
What maketh a valuable gift?
Around the holidays, we tend to gift all sorts of mindless crap like bath sets and fancy chocolate which, albeit nice, bears little true meaning. Just shit we buy to "mark the occasion", which is, incidentally, how Christmas's consumerist reputation has come about.
See, consumerism as such isn't defined by buying stuff. It's defined by buying useless stuff that says nothing about your bond with a person.
But between you and me, who's giving these meaningless gifts, anyway? For me, gifts have always been a way of exploring a relationship. Of sitting back at the end of the year, and thinking back on all the little things you've learned over the past year, all the ways in which you've seen someone grow and develop over the past year, and then asking the question,
what do they need now? what could make their journey going forward a little easier or more pleasant?
It's seldom a bath set. While nice enough, it's the sort of gift you could give just anyone. Don't get me wrong, I did get some friends bath sets this year, ironically, more as a pretext. I got a friend some bookmarks and mailed them to her, as she lives halfway around the world.
She doesn't need them.
It's meaningless crap.
But it's also a way of saying I see you. And I'm so grateful you are in my life.
You need to say that. You don't know who might be sinking, in your silence. And if it sometimes means buying some meaningless fancy bookmarks in order to get the message across, sign me up.
We don't get a lot.
We don't get a lot of time. On this earth. With the people who matter. We really don't. Life is freakishly short. And sure, I might think what I got you was stupid. But maybe it's meaningful to you. Today, I got probably the best gift I ever got. Ever. And I've got some pretty amazing ones down the years. My kid brother got me a record player.
I don't need it. I'm a faithful Spotify person. I've got a portable speaker, which I adore. But I've been wanting one for forever. I probably spent an hour gushing over it. I'm in love with the record player. I keep looking back at it and thinking someone's gonna come and take it from me, since I can't possibly have something this nice.
Is it consumerist? Paying for a music device I don't truly need, and for expensive vinyls when music is free on Spotify? (well, almost free.) Yes. Consumerist, indeed. But I don't know, my brother seemed pretty psyched by my reaction. As was I by his. And by all the reactions of the people I gave gifts to over the past few days.
See, that's another thing I've been working on assimilating recently.
When we get a gift, we often get caught up with "oh, this is too expensive" or "oh I don't deserve this" or "oh now I gotta buy them something back". When really, the person giving you a gift isn't looking for any of those reactions.
When someone gives you something, it's not about you going on a tirade about consumerism, or putting forward all your undeserving insecurities. That's a way of making it about you. About your ideals, your values, your whatever.
Maybe sometimes, thank you will suffice.
The best possible reaction to a gift is dumb happy smiles and reverting to 5-year-old sheer joy. Why? Because life's short and full of sadness already. Often, seeing someone we love grin from ear to ear is more valuable than a thousand bucks.
Which is why, much as I love minimalist ideals, the consumerist argument always falls short for me. Are the things I gifted today consumerist? Probably. But they made my people happy. Not "here's a cute shirt you'll wear twice and then donate" happy. Ntz. It's a different happy. It's a happy that says "the gift-giver sees me". And seeing someone is the best gift you can possibly give. Yeah, sometimes you need to spend some cash to do it. But what, are you saving up for a nice, posh funeral or something?
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Human interactions are meaningful and immaterially valuable, even when some consumerist items were used to facilitate those interactions in my opinion.
Happy holidays!
Reblogging so I can comment when I get a chance. Read and appreciated 🙏
Happy Holidays:)))
I am always amazed by the magic of the chaos of our things, the beauty that can cross our eyes, unleashing so many different thoughts in the infinite cosmos of those who appreciate living.
Hey ho, merry belated stranger.
But I really came by to say Happy NY and that you've been in my thoughts. Good to see you being you ❣️
Hmmm... I think a collector's piece isn't consumerism. It's collectorism! :D
p.s. I still buy classic books I've already read and carry them around even though I don't have a permanent bookshelf. Or plan to read them again.
And I'm keeping it!
Sending love and awkward hugs for the NY and best, best wishes for the year ahead for you, angel. May it bring peace and ease for you. 💖🪷
Good to see you as well <3 Hoping 2024 is everything you make it. And that it's a year of light.
Some things just bury themselves in your heart, and why not let them stay for a little while?
All the best in the New Year, Nicky :)
You have a good point :)
You too, angel <3