I mentioned a couple of times that my dreams are becoming more vivid each day/night that I can remember most when I wake up. One of those dreams is something that I remember well because it's about someone important who passed away.
My grandma passed away in 2015 and since then I've been seeing her in my dreams. It was not as usual before but ever since my dreams became vivid AF, I remember seeing her in my dreams more often.
Most of the time, she would just be there standing beside me in my dreams... She would just smile or tell me "it's okay" or just follow me. These dreams were vivid but I was never lucid. Maybe a little bit conscious as sometimes I realize she's already dead but I never really went lucid during those dreams.
But the other day...
I had a dream of me walking in the dark, trying to get somewhere I don't remember now. She was there and I asked her something about the place where I wanted to go and after that she just walked away trying to get to her place too. I don't remember the place exactly but it looks like the place where they lived before with some added "weird objects" like colorful squirrels lol, you know, it's a dream.
I woke up and realized I missed the chance of being lucid.
I wanted to be lucid for a long time so I could "talk" to her even just in dreams cos there's something that I want to apologize to her for, which I haven't done when she was still alive.
I went to bed after peeing and drinking water cos I know there's a big chance I'll be lucid so I set an intention to come back to that dream.
I had a couple of some other dreams in weird situations but after a little while, I was back at the same place where I saw her. Then at last, I'm lucid!
It was dark... like in the "Insidious" movie dark where the environment is all dark and bluish but the characters seem to "pop". No colors at all, just feels "inverted" like the one in my pic.
I was in a toilet and when I got out from it, I sensed she was outside doing stuff. I rushed to the door and then she's there.
"Hi la!!!" , I greeted her as delightful as I can be.
She looked at me with a blank face. I instantly felt uneasy. Like a nightmare was coming but thankfully at that point I already know how to not let that dream turn into a nightmare so I didn't get scared. I just smiled at her.
"How are you?", I asked.
"I'm okay", she said. She looked like she was arranging things to bring with her and preparing to leave. I didn't look at what she's doing nor try to inspect the surroundings though cos I was really trying to focus on communicating and keep it going as getting distracted might make me wake up from the dream.
"Are you happy already? I mean, not already haha but I mean are you happy?", I asked.
"Yes", she said without even looking at me.
"Sorry la.", I said.
"It's okay."
She then walked passed me, then stopped. She looked at me in the eyes and said "Come with me.".
I frowned. I was confused. Why would she ask me that? Then I just smiled and answered.
"Ah, nah. I will go back. I want to be with [mentions name of my aunt and her son] them.", I said.
She looked confused like she didn't recognize them at all and just said "Ahh."
She then walked away and said something like "I think now's my time to go but I'm not really sure."
"We all have our own time, that's for sure. Anyway, I have to go too. Bye!", I waved and jumped right back in to where I came from and I woke up.
It's pretty weird how some dream characters act different sometimes. It was pretty interesting how my brain presented my grandma as someone who'd want to see me "come with her" aka die. lol.
Interpreting this from a psychology standpoint, yes I've been feeling kinda depressed lately with negative images about myself. I've always wondered what happens after we die. But as you have read, I am not suicidal nor having any suicidal thoughts. Thus, me not wanting to be "with" her.
Anyway, what are your interpretations about this? Would be interesting to hear different thoughts from different cultures, beliefs, scientific explanations and such. :D
To me, I certainly don't know what happens after we die or if there are some other dimensions or purgatory or whatever. But I don't close myself from them cos I know that we don't know a lot of things and there are a lot of possibilities in this thing called life.
I often dream of my aunt who passed away too. She often appears in my dreams when I am sad or is having problems. She's usually a few meters away and just smiles. Before she died, she also often tells me that she dreams of my grandma and other loved ones who passed away too. By the time she got really sick, my grandma often visits her in her dreams. Sometimes she often confused dreams with reality because they seem so real. My mom also experiences the same.
I always believe in the supernatural world. I think your grandma is trying to comfort you. Sending you hugs! Hope you feel better soon.
I've heard of these kinda stories from the old ones too and it seems like it has been around since humans have been around. I don't fully believe in the supernatural world yet but the world is so big and there's so many unknown things. If that is true and my grandma appeared in some of my dreams then I won't be surprised she would comfort me. Thank you! Hope you're well too :D
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apparently when you are going through some depression, the dreams become more vivid and bizarre.
I went through those dreams as I was having depression and anxiety attacks back in the Philippines.
Love yourself dear. Don't take it too seriously and rough for yourself. I'm sure this pandemic has a big role on how people are feeling right now.
It's amazing that you finally got to be lucid though! I had a chance of becoming lucid for once as well. :)
Yeah probably that too! The human brain is so complex that it can actually do a lot of things and can even trick us.
Thank you! Yes it has a big impact. Like, it's making it worse, but I've had this problem even before the pandemic.
And lol yeah. I wanted to be lucid many times and it's just really hard to do cos it's so realistic, that even "reality check" techniques doesn't work on me. How did it go for you?
It should be your artist brain dear! ;) <3
I went lucid once. I was walking in a dark place and I was hearing the sound of my own shoes. Then once I realized that I'm lucid, I got too excited and woke up agad! nakaka inis! :D