To say that I am angry is an understatement. I made my way to church as usual after lunch, and sat in my usual spot, hoping to steal a few moments of prayer before the service starts.
Then this Aunty who thinks she is very fashionable waddles up and laughs at me for being a "tai tai" (in Chinese, it connotes a wife of a very rich man who does nothing but have high teas and manicures the whole day).
Speechless, I stared in shock at this entirely unprovoked statement. I am not close to this Aunty and haven't conversed with her in months.
At my lack of response, she went on ridiculing, "usually most ladies stay at home after the kid is born. But yours is immediate after marriage. So what do you do all day? Hang up the clothes?"
»»-------------¤-------------««
All this just for MY personal life decision to not stress before conception (preparation for conception - pre-conception - is just as vital as what I do during pregnancy, in my opinion).
Firstly, what has MY personal life decision to do with you?
Secondly, if I really was a tai tai, then I would have maids and butlers to cater to my every whim, won't I?
But no, my husband is not a millionaire and accepting a salary far below his capability to sacrificially serve in the church.
Sometimes I wonder if it is even worth it to serve all these ungrateful people.
It repulses me that even in a semi-traditional church, I have no choice to buckle the conventional route of being a career woman.
Am I not allowed to choose what is best for me, my husband and my family without any ridicule or slander?
Lastly, even if you disagree with MY personal life decision, who are you to comment directly in my face? My decision has no bearing upon you.
»»-------------¤-------------««
I wrote the above yesterday, but did not get around to posting it as I fell into a fitful sleep.
M has to constantly remind me that haters gotta hate, and that I shouldn't be affected by what others perceive about me.
"So what if they think you're lazy and unmotivated? You and I both know that it isn't true. That's not you."
I agree. She doesn't know any whit about what I'm actually doing in my life (including taking up further studies next month). It's just that I'm such a huge believer in personal autonomy.
»»-------------¤-------------««
I do me, you do you.
Can we just be RESPECTFUL and COURTEOUS of each other's life choices?
I don't have to agree with what you choose, but that is your life and I have no right to comment or dictate what you should or should not do with your life.
Likewise, I hope I am extended that same basic respect and courtesy.
Wouldn't it be a MUCH better world to live in? Wouldn't you agree? (:
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Photo Credits: Marcos Paulo Prado, Unsplash
Dear sweet let people be, it’s jealousy ! And being you doing you is less stressful and good for getting pregnant , pray for strength and for a protect shield to get the bad vibes away and all will be ok
Aww thank you @brittandjosie, your words have cheered me immensely (': 🙆
Good old saying in my part of the world "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." Shrug it off, negative self-opinionated people are not worth the time and energy spent @joeylim
Yes, I've managed to shrug it off by now - thank you for the wise advice @joanstewart! (:
It is regrettable that there are people like that, always ready to let out of their mouths only hurtful words full of bad vibrations. It is very difficult to be judged and not have negative emotions about it but in those moments we must hold on to our faith, our convictions and defend who we are.
I've always believed that people who get into other people's lives are because their lives are so sad. I pray to God that such toxic people do not come closer to you to cause you discomfort.
That's so true! Thank you @eugelys ((:
Live and let live, that's one of the best slogans. Many people do not practice it and precisely do so because they do not have a life of their own. Respect is the basis of good coexistence. Thank you for sharing your experience. Greetings from Venezuela.
Greetings to you too @marybellrg! (: Yes, live and let live - very wise words (:
The fact that this statement bothered you, speaks to your kindhearted, acceptable and caring nature. You care about others and want them to be happy with their life. You have a heart.. so of course this kind of crap will bother you. I think people like to tear others down with an "I'm going to get you before you get me" mentality, because they are unsettled or unhappy with their own life. Something is terribly wrong in this persons life and I feel pity for them. I think the best thing to do is just what you have done. silently acknowledge her negativity, brush it away, let it inspire you to never be that person, and pray for her. She obviously needs it. Keep on being a beautiful person.. the world needs more beautiful people like yourself in it!
I'm really touched by your words of encouragement @bdmillergallery - thank you so much for speaking to me today (': I truly appreciate it. I hope that she eventually will be as happy as I am too.
Have a blessed week ahead! (:
I have a relatively stock answer for people like that. It is not NSFW so I'll not print it here but the rough translation would be "Why might your opinion concern me in the least? It's MY choice not yours."
Takes a lot more words to say it that way :)
If I'm OK with those people closest to me and to my God then I'm OK. Simple as that for me.
I understand your path isn't mine and you have considerations that I don't. In no way let this come of as critical of you. I've never walked a foot in your shoes let alone a mile.
Haha yes, I get where you are coming from @bigtom (:
It's a very good perspective to adopt (:
Incredible writing.
I love the idea of respecting the decisions of others, as long as it doesn't affect me I can support or disassociate myself from someone else's decision.
it is possible to give advice or support, but a person with a notary's conscience is aware of his decisions, therefore he must respect them.
Everyone has their own path, their own tastes and goals...
Right @rafaelgreen, you hit the nail on the head! (:
And isn't it a more interesting and diverse world when not everyone is the same? (:
That is the thing - it is your life! And yours to live it how you choose!
A big lesson I learned for dealing with my anger was to turn that anger into love and if you can not do that then just move away from what is angering you!
Thanks @porter! Turning anger into love - I think it's something I need to do more and more (':
In church? So it's ok to forgive Mary Magdalene but she has some words for you. Too much. I grew up living my church and the values it stands for but I can't hang with the sheeple anymore.
I bet if a light was shone on her life, she'd crawl under a rock and hide.
@inalittlewhile Yeah...
I understand what you mean - it's really disheartening at times that the people who are supposed to share the same values and priorities are the same ones hindering your path 😔
Your post has been voted as a part of Encouragement program. Keep up the good work!
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